I am making a few resolutions, bli neder, for the new year, and one of them is to make one post about my own journey and respond to one other post every day. I hope this will help keep me connected to sober thinking and help me to gradually wean myself off lust actions.
Shana Tova to all.
Welcome. As Watson said, go easy on the resolutions
But I commend you on your plan
Ive been doing similar thing and has been highly beneficial BH
After spending the last 10 years never having gone without p and mzl for more than a few days at a time. This summer i worked hard to kick this habit.
I've been clean for 73 days and counting. I'm excited to pass the 90 day finish line. After I got through a month, it pretty much just flowed for me. I don't trust myself and know it's a lifelong struggle. But I feel well equipped to handle it. Hashem has guided me in this process and I have tremendous hakarras hatov.
Below are a few points that may be helpful for the olam.
i started learning Sefer zos brisi (Hebrew version) regularly - it is amazing - great stuff in there - one point that spoke to me was the quote that pgimas habris causes aniyus, (it can change a mazel of ashirus to aniyus) and vice Versa shmiras habris can even change a person's mazel towards ashirus.
I feel that learning it regularly keeps me continually strengthened about how bad mzl is. And certainly how bad porn is.
Another thing I read was about the fact that zerah is meant to go into a beis kibbul. That is the mitzius of it. I found that interesting.
i learned more Torah. Gemara with ameilus. It helped me be misgaber.
i avoided going into the city. I haven't been to Manhattan for 6 Months. I don't go on trains buses etc.
i pretty much avoided reading any news. Listening to any radio and watching any movies etc
i davened for it
i donated monthly to GYE (I figured it is a helpful site to the olam, and also, I reasoned that most don't have the funds to donate and probably there is a lot of stigma attached to the site- wives wouldn't understand unless they caught their husband. So a wife mah be against making a donation. I believe people should donate at least something minimal- even $10 a month or whatever. It offers good resources. Ir give something annually. It is a unique tzedekah and must have a high overhead.
surprisingly, pas besalo didn't help me. I'm b"h at the stage where I don't need it. Whether it is yemei niddah or not. I'm ok. of course when it happens, it's great. But it's not a need, such as food. This is something I read from markz early on. It's a deep idea.
For me this Forum although anonymous helps me communicate with others.
What cords said is 100% true. Now if you are like me and socializing on Gye keeps you sober, then you will and should continue doing that biz 120
We are social butterflies whether we like it :-) or not :-/
Most and I think 99% of GYE members that achieved true sobriety ODAAT (i.e. No white knuckling), need to graduate the forum to socialize with real people (although often may need more than that).
לתאוה יבקש נפרד
As long as we remain נפרד, we will seek תאוה, when there's actually something more enjoyable than illicit תאוה, and that is living life to its fullest
Welcome back.
Sorry to hear that you're still struggling.
I'll tell you something about myself (even though I don't consider myself an 'addict') - As long as I'm taking steps forward for recovery every day, the struggle is BH under control
If things are left as they are, the truck will by default shift very quickly to reverse back into the muck very quickly
Theres no middle ground. Only one solution works for me
Warning: Spoiler!