Hello, it's been a little while but I just wanted to check in with a few updates:
1) spiders are far more interesting than hyenas. 
2) today is day 100. I vote to change 90 day chart to 100 days. It has a better ring to it. 

Thanks Cordnoy - more on my story. I grew up secular and have a long story of how I became more religious. Shmrias habris has been one large chunk of this growth story. I have tried many many things to try to stop and made many fences for myself before. I tried to not touch myself at all, then not to see shmutz and put all of these things around myself, but nothing every worked. I find that learning about Shmiras Habris and increasing my learning in general has helped in so many ways. Now finding GYE with amazing ways to grow and kick the habit (TaPHSiC method specifically) is helping me a lot. I find that the urge for me is really just a temporary urge and once I find ways to distract myself (doing some push-ups, learning Torah, calling someone) I find that the urge is gone and I can get back to feeling like a great Jew. 

I don't feel like a hypocrite anymore and am working to continue to build fences and strengthen myself in the growth. 

Chaim Parnes wrote on 06 Dec 2016 19:39:

I did that too
And that was the end of it
The end of the filter

But that's only cos me and filtergeek like loopholing. Maybe it will work for you

Either way KEEP ON TRUCKING

Just Because you asked.

i'm a simple person with regular struggles.

basically once a month i get addicted klutzing away for some cute/music videos, 

i'm working on my self to actually once and for all install my filter and that should be the end of it.

with all these hit-men on the loose maybe we need to rename this site to GuardYourBack.

I appreciate Una's post, and will post a response some time later when I have time.

I don't understand hardly a word of Cord's post.

Frankly, I am constantly feeling "attacked" here. And I don't know why.

And I feel that the terminology being used is a big part of it.

I think this should be a safe, welcoming space to get help, no matter what your struggle is or whatever number you are on the spectrum.

I don't know why I'm bothering again, but oh well. Let's give it a try.

Here's my intro. 12 Steps is great if it works for you, and whatever works for you, go for it. But-and this is a big deal- don't preach the twelve steps as being true, because there is nothing about them that has been proved true.

Go look up the five most effective ways to beat addiction in studies, go look at the comparison of CBT effectiveness vs 12 steps, go look for the proof that there is really scientific eveidence of a brain disease, go look at how many addicts spontaneously achieve sobriety, go watch Markz rat park video which is specifically making the point that we have the addiction theory all wrong and that when we give addicts a better life they will do better with addiction and when we shake and blame they will do worse. Go look up Gabor Mate and Stanton Peele.

Even if you're not into studies, stats, or any of the above, there is enough counter evidence to the brain disease model- and there is also enough evidence that the disease model actually makes some people relapse more- that it shouldn't be tossed around as a fact. Sometimes I get the feeling that some people think GYE is just an extension of SA; I get the feeling too sometimes- but it's not. I've gone to many therapists (too many $$$) who are not proponents of 12 steps, and some who are not because they believe it is the solution but because they believe it is a great program for personal growth (one therapist who had been in 12 steps for fifteen years told me that he takes the good parts and doesn't believe the rest.

Again, if it works for you, go for it, but please don't shove it down everyone elses's throat as a fact.

The reason I used to masturbate and watch pornography is I was bored, lonely, sad, and full off shame, and it was geshmak, and I blamed my life on my wife. The reason why I don't for now is because I've done a lot of healing.

The reason why I could fall after ninety days or ten years proves nothing about a disease. I can stop biting my nails for years, as I did, and bite after seven years and before I know it, I'm biting again. Same with a million other habits. Same with Lashon Hara, kaas, overeating- habits re part of your brain, and once you acquire them it is super hard to break ANY habit. That doesn't mean you have a disease; it means you made a big mistake to acquire that habit in the first place, and of course you'll be more susceptible than someone who never had the habit, but that proves nothing.

To sum up- maybe one has a brain disease, maybe one doesn't, maybe there is such a thing, maybe there isn't. Please be careful how you state it as fact. And allow everyone whatever works for them, of course including 12 steps.

Peace out; sorry for the rant but this has been brewing for a long time.