Here is something that Wats
on is f
ond of writing when he welcomes some
one new. Please read it (and my whole post in its entirety twice)...(I read yours twice before deciding to comment and
once more before deciding to hit submit. I think you probably meant well, but I can't help how I feel receiving your post):
"Welcome. You're in the right place.
First of all please take time to read through the
GYE handbook. No two people are the same, every
one has a slightly different set of circumstances, but we all share this problem and since we share the problem we can share the soluti
on too. The book is written in a general way so it can apply to every
one. I found it helpful to really think about what the book was saying and how it applied to me and my own life.
This is a very comm
on problem nowadays, you're far from the
only
one to deal with it. The word addict gets thrown around quite a lot, but most people who struggle with this issue are not addicts, just normal people with a normal yetzer hora. Which is good. Some people have come to realise that they really are addicts because their situati
on got gradually worse and worse despite working
on it. When I say worse I mean, in frequency, severity or just feeling worse after every slip. If that is the case we may need more than GYE, which most people find to be therapy or SA or both. But I wouldn't jump to that c
onclusi
on about you. Many people have overcome this challenge right here
on GYE using the tools in the handbook.
So stick around.
Keep posting,
keep reading and
keep on trucking."
---------------
He has got 1235 posts! But you know better.
Yeah, there is some c
oncern and care that comes through from your post, and I appreciate that.
But MAN, I read your post twice, and thought about what Workingguy wrote, and still can't believe
the incredible
chutzpah you have to suggest (or even to think) that my problems are less important than anybody else's. That I d
on't bel
ong here. My little problems d
on't measure up somehow to the big boys. Simply unbelievable!
I just fell hard. And then picked myself back up again and had the courage to be open and h
onest about it, and wrote a post
on my own thread to get a little pick-me-up and chizuk.
You can't say a few lines of comfort and encouragement like Gevura did? He's got 3321 posts! But you know better. He is a genius at it and usually adds a little levity (the joke about forgetting Nashim not being such a bad idea). No, you've got to ask 20 questi
ons. And I answered them.
Your 2nd to the last post crossed a little over the line, and I called you out
on it. Now, maybe say some encouraging words or leave it al
one. No, you've got to tell me my problems are insignificant compared to others, and that I am in a virtual room of addicts where I d
on't bel
ong. Doesn't matter what Wats
on says or what Guard says, right? You know better. What an unbelievable chutzpah!
Enough about the first half of your last post. I'll end with this.
You give me your advice in your sec
ond half of the post. Yet here's what I wrote
on Jan. 27th:
What I am looking for at this point is just a friendly, safe place to share my experiences
as I journey toward successfully breaking free from this terrible bad habit...
a place to receive encouragement to c
ontinue growing and pushing forward,
a place where people who share some idea of the difficulty of the nisay
on I'm going through
are willing to hear me out and express their understanding and empathy,
and try to pick me up and support me, so that I d
on't give up and totally fail.
I'll work out the strategies/game plan
on my own from now
on, with the help of a live coach/success story.
Enjoy this great dvar Torah from R. Yechiel Spero from a Sefer Emunah Bacharti:
"There is a difference between the term "Melacha" that we refer to when we talk about the 39 things that
one is not allowed to do
on shabbos, and the term "Avodah". Avodah, hard work is not forbidden. For instance, if
one wanted or needed to schlep tables and chairs from the third floor to the first floor, it's entirely permissible, even though you are sweating and working hard. However, if
one does a creative acti
on, that is called a melacha and that is strictly forbidden
on Shabbos.
But that's when it comes to Shabbos.
Hashem, when He asks us to serve Him, it is not called melacha. It is called avodah. We strive to be "Avdei Hashem", we work
on our avodas Hashem. Hashem does not need us to do creative things for Him. He doesn't demand of us to finish product. He doesn't necessitate that we do something that is called a melacha. We d
on't actually have to finish the job necessarily. All Hashem asks of us, is to be an Eved Hashem. To shvitz for the Rib
ono Shel Olam; to work hard at whatever we are d
ong. We might succeed, hopefully, we do. But even if we d
on't, it is still c
onsidered to very, very valued and very special in the eyes of Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
That should give us all great encouragement. Sometimes we feel, "C'm
on who are we kidding. I am far from perfect". Hashem doesn't need you to be perfect. All He needs you to do is some avodas Hashem, to be His Eved Hashem. Halivay, if
one day we can actually earn that incredible appellati
on."
