Ok
First of all u came to the right place

Second of all u are never ever ever too
Late in the game to turn your life around

Its not a walk in the park

It is hard work

If u are machlit to do it.  It will be alor easier than door to door combat


# 1 hachlatta
RESOLVE

Make up with yourself
To change your behavior

Don't get too caught up. It makes no difference to why u are an addict

But if u so  want to change or not get caught

Whatever

You need to change your behavior

Get rid of face book

YES

Get a filter on every computer u have. (Iphone etc)

YES

Resolve to stay here

GUE works

I was in a similar situation

I am a year and ahalf clean

I say it with pride

And it was a life changing experience

We all have a day one

Today is your day one

It is work

KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!

My dear chaver I felt everything u wrote

I was in that vicious cycle

It can be done

All u need is a day ONE

Bardichev

I can think of 2 things

Numero Alef

There is that niggling feeling

It just bubbles under the surface

Numero bays

Slichos rosh hashana etc

We are over tired


It ads to the niggling feeling


Just keep on trucking

Bardichev

sprikles??
fudge??

sugar cone?


no not crunch in asseres yimai teshuvah!

keep on trucking!!!!!!!!!

Be sure to pick a username that is meaningful to you.  Keep in mind that this is what your friends (your support team people) are going to call you.



Just imagine this...



Dear OyICan'tThinkOfANameRightNow,

I just finished reading your post, and I want to show you some support......





or...




Dear R' Oy,

Keep on posting....  let me know....  keep on trucking...  don't get down...  daven... 





Dear Can't Think,

Ok you get the message!

HEY BARDS

KEEP ON TRUCKING

ROSH HASHANAH IS COMING

SELICHOS ARE COMING (UNLESS YOURE SEPHARDI)

ITS THE LAST WEEK OF THE YEAR AND WE CAN STILL DO TESHUVAH FOR THAT WE DID THE FIRST 51 WEEKS OF THE YEAR!!!

THATS THE CHESED OF HAKADOSH BARUCH HU.

-YIDDLE

Guys, sorry for the mantra.

• Another day. Just one more day.
• PLEASE HASHEM HELP ME KEEP ON TRUCKING JUST TODAY.
• Recovery is the most important thing in my life.
• Yiddishkiet is not about feeling good.

bardichev wrote on 30 Aug 2010 20:26:

This is gorgeous! Thanks Reb b!

A caveat: To me - just for me - the s'char business is just a distraction from being happy to just be a yid with my Best Friend right here, right now. I love saying a few times in the earliest morning with my eyelids still upside down, "I'm for You...help me be for You...help me want to be for You today." It's a pleasure like no other just to really mean that. And as far as the s'char is concerned, Ilu hotzianu me-addiction v'lo nosan lanu v'lo anything else - Dayenu!

Dodi is for me, even when I am not for Him! It's gotta be that way, otherwise how could anybody ever get sober in the first place? It's amazing, no?

And about this:


A he'orah. Why does Hashem pick the wacky sounding idea of using measurements for all the keilim of the mikdosh like "an ammah" or "a tefach"? Couldn't He have made a crystal of some sort or rock that is standard? And how can there even be a shiur of an ammah if every man's arm is a little different? (It must have driven yekki's crazy back then building the mishkan...)

Torah is for people. We are made for it. Hashem's Will is expressed this way for people. We are the measuring device of the Torah cuz we are made of and for the Torah.
 
And I love this one, reb b:[quote]I don’t know what yidishkiet is, but I now know that it is not about feeling good.

yiddishkite is about serving Hashem[quote]

How many times have I heard from my sponsor or from other guys in the rooms, "Dov. What are you asking for? What do you want? To be forgiven so you'll feel better? So I can tell you 'it's not so bad'...It won't work. We act out to feel better. We recover to get better - to really live. Just do the work for free."

Whining is about "poor me..." and only about me, and has nothing to do with serving Hashem, and nothing to do with real living.

I miss bandying and schmandying with bards!

Hah!

YH is a machmir!!

Fayf oon

Keep on trucking!

Happiness is bliss.  Understanding G-d is amazing but happiness or true happiness is what makes me feel better.  Thanks for thinking about that and writing it.  Still one or the best thread on this whole website.  You can work on everything, but your own journey is the most important.  Keep on trucking my friend.

I WROTE THIS TO OVADIA

bardichev wrote on 01 Sep 2010 16:29:

I don’t know what yidishkiet is, but I now know that it is not about feeling good. 


yiddishkite

is about serving Hashem


who can serve Hashem?

HUMANS

now being Jewish gives you an edge

for 2 reasons

#1 you get the instruction book the Torah(rambam shilchan aruch etc)

#2 you dna has it patterned in fro our forfathers and even you own parents and grandparents


but lets go back to HUMANS

Humans run on two tracks one is specific calulated thought and the other is emotional feeling that involves no rationalizing


as long as you are Human you will FEEL things

love hate fear graditude lonliness happiness inferior  fear  excitement etc etc

humans crave enjoyment

yup we do

HASHEM made us that way

your job as a jew is to find enjoyment in your serving HASHEM

oh its not so easy

why?

there is an obstacle course out there

set up by HASHEM to "challange" you

so you will have to actually work hard

that is also a Human thing

that we only "enjoy" what we actually work for

so my good chaver

why is it so difficult??

aha!!  you will only find the enjoyment AFTER you worked worked worked without any feeling

of enjoyment or success

keep on trucking

bardichev

Yiddle2 wrote on 01 Sep 2010 15:33:


in the case of the lions u are 100% percent correct

in the case of the bus and the online

it is a test

Hashem does not expect u to kill a 10 lions

Hashem sees every little bit of effort every little bit counts

and by workind u are building up antobodies ( pun totally not intended)

for the next nisayon

Y2

u will never control the lions or the lust

your job is to stay as far away from the lions as possible

and try try try

all Hashem wants is try

habba

litaher misayyin osso!!!!

keep on trucking (trting)


bardichev

If you can't do the 12 stePs.

Resolve to do something!!!

Anything is better than freefall!!


Keep on trucking

Bardichev

I had a revelation yesterday.

The last few days that I was clean I left work each day feeling horrible. I was unable to daaven or to learn. It seemed so false. Yes, I had “survived” the day. But that was not the real me. I told myself that I had only done it to feel good, to be able to save face on GYE.

Yesterday after I fell and I came to mariv, my heart was filled with remorse. I “connected” with HaShem asking him to help me. I felt so low. I needed Him……..

And then I realized the LIE, the big LIE and the truth of what Dov wrote once:

I had lived a double life. There was the me that loves Hashem, tries to learn well, is a devoted husband and decent person....and there was the me who  (sickly) related to Hashem almost exclusively as the One to "take me back! Clean up my mess!" over and over. Like the baby that spills the spaghetti on the floor and enjoys having his mom bend over and clean it up...I loved the idea that Hashem would take me back and clean up my mess. Just loved it. It was the only real proof I had that He loved me! After all, I couldn't successfully live for Him, right - I was masturbating, lusting, and acting out over and over (and hiding it and lying about it), right?
But that is not a G-d/servant relationship - it is a toilet/janitor relationship. Not what He wants, at all. I see it as a complete (and perverse) twisting of the "nimtzah, you will live each day in teshuvah" that the tanna is talking about.
And I know that it is not what He desires, not from any meforshim, but simply because my life was slowly getting flushed down that very toilet! Living Hashem's Will is supposed to give forth a life that works. My honesty with my own wife was bleeding to death...hiding (as you describe a bit) meant lying, too...covering the bitterness was lying, too, wasn't it? It was living the lie instead of telling it. So? Which is worse? And my acting out was generally worsening, not getting better in the long run. Where it would all lead after I was old scared the hell out of me, frankly.

I have come to the realization that I am incapable of any rationalization or objectivity of any kind in this struggle, and I definitely do not have the ability to evaluate my relationship with HaShem on the basis of this struggle.
Thank you Dov

Yes Barditchev, it has taken time to realize how right you are:

PLEASE HASHEM, NO CHESHBOINOS JUST GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO KEEP ON TRUCKING.

Bardichev,

Even if you would end your shmooz without the "Keep on trucking" I wouldn't have forgotten that I am on GYE. Reading the post, I felt like I am sitting in the middle of a typical Bardichev'dige Elul Chizuk Shmoos.

You calm my shivering bones.

Nein teg tzee Rosh Hashuna! Gevald! There is sooo much that we can accomplish in nine days!!!!







BTW, I agree with every word that David wrote too!