Nov 25th last year was the day I got a filter. I don't know how to feel about it bc within the hour of getting a filter on my phone I ran to get my old tablet and watched my last ever porn video.
    I think today is a silent celebration of taking a huge step towards being free and tomorrow is the real celebration of a whole year with no pornography.
    It has changed my life for the better more than I ever could have imagined. I feel more alive than ever. I can't wait to see what the rewards of fighting this battle will be in the future because just these small but extremely significant rewards that I have now are so precious. Being in control of your own mind, having a clear head, being able to talk to a woman without forcing yourself from trying to fantasies. 
   So to a year of progress we celebrate.

    The number 1 thing i would like to say is that tomorrow is another day. We will all be fighting this together 1 day at a time. It has been a year taken 1 day at a time. 
   This is not a year streak, this is a year of progress. A streak does not matter in of itself, the progress is what matters.

הודו לה' כי טוב!!

!!Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time

jewizard21 wrote on 21 Nov 2024 20:59:

The wizard has spoken the TRUTH! 

    Take it One Day At A Time. Don't worry about 2 weeks bc you can't actively change what may happen then or even tomorrow. Focus on today because that's the only time you have control of. You can't react to things that may happen, you can only prepare yourself by focusing on the now.
    Each day you gain more experience in fighting the battle. If we fall, then we learn from our mistakes, but know that we are not failures because we fell, we are humans that are trying to better ourselves in an area that is difficult to improve on. 

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

I love this post.
It ebs and flows. It gets easier but is never easy.
"Behind EVERY thread that gives you kina, is a user that was once convinced it would be impossible to get to where he is now"
So true and so powerful to have this in mind! Thank you for bringing this to light as it's known but not thought of.

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

ShtettlMan wrote on 19 Nov 2024 11:15:

Cooooooooooooooooooooongratulations!

That's huge. The following step is recognizing you accomplished something amazing. Probably you should reward yourself.

The downside to focusing on the streak, is when you win the streak some minority of people get left with a deep down feeling like they're done and then they lose all their motivation (in a very subtle way) and fall.

A good idea is to set a new goal (how bout going for 180?). A better idea is that while you work on the next ninety, you also disengage a little from actively counting daily, and try to work on feeling like a different person. That is to say, don't change what's been working. But try to focus less on a goal of days, and more on a goal of internal change.

You accomplishment is deeply inspiring. Keep on trucking!

Welcome to the warmest family.

This is a family where helping one another is top priority, where everyone is so warm and understanding of your struggles, a family that really provides the right tools and methods to really get healed.

First off there's the great f2f Program that gives you the correct training to become a experienced sharpshooter and win the battle for once and for all.

Also talking with the great people here has proven itself to be the most powerful to achieving true freedom.
Start off by the commander in chief HHM at michelgelner@gmail.com, or MUTTEL at muttel15@gmail.com, or EERIE at 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com, I'm also available my details are below in my signature.

Looking forward to getting to know you and to seeing green stuff coming from you.

Keep on trucking, and keep us posted.
With love Akiva 

    Just a thought I had on last week's parsha that I feel really relates to this nisoyon and the schar (reward) that comes from battling.

Disclaimer this is not a post to discount the greatness of the people in tanach but to try and learn from them.

    We have 2 instances in the 4th alya. 1 with Lotes daughters and another with Sarah being abducted by avimelech if im not mistaken.
   From the story of Lots daughters we know that even with good intentions illicit relations are assur, they thought they were the last in the world! We know that they got the zchus of the line of Malchus to come from after they did full teshuva.
    By the story of Sarah Emanu the medrash/mefarshim tell us that Avimelech did not even touch Sarah because Hashem protected her. We see that even in what seems to be the most inevitable and worst situations that Hashem will protect us.

I'm not sure if I explained this well but what I took out of it is that We may fall but when we get back up and prevail not only will we get tremendous reward but Hashem will be with us every step of the way.

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

Hey,

    I'm 22 and single as well and have been able to break free to some extent. It may seem to you that your fantasies get more out if control when not "contained" but it's actually the complete opposite. When you feed your fantasies in that "contained" time your actually taking away control from yourself. This is psychological warfare. 
    When you get a fantasy try not to focus on it and force it out, just acknowledge and dismiss it without actually focusing on it. After a little while you'll realize that these fantasies will come less frequent and less potent. 

    Try not to think of the struggle as such a monstrous task, try to keep it to each day. If you get an urge or want to buy another phone then try to tell yourself that your not going to do it today. Each day is it's own challenge. The past happened and the future hasn't, you can't change what happens except for in the moment, so in the moment of the struggle tell yourself not now, now in this moment  I am going to beat this nisoyon. This is the concept of ODAAT- One Day At A Time. A lot easier said than done of course but with the right mindset it gets easier each day. Not easy but easier.

    Also what's your motivation to get clean? Sometimes that helps to remind yourself why the effort is so worth it. My personal reasons to get/stay clean is so that I can be free and be able to be an amazing husband and father devoted to his wife and children.
    At a certain point of progress you will realize how amazing it is to be free with your thoughts in check and you not objectifying women. If what you meant when you said as a "single guy" that married men have it easier bc they have the ability to have a kosher outlet then your partly wrong on that part. Ill explain just in case thats what you were implying.
    When you use the sexual relationship with your wife as a way to release your taavos then its just a thing of lust and taking, when married there is a sharing of intimacy (intimacy ≠ sex) which is what builds the love in the relationship, if you use the sexual part of the relationship as something to feed your Lust then it will take away from the intimacy of your relationship with your wife which can/will lead to taking away from the love. If the sexual relationship is something at the peak of intimacy then it can help a person with his taavos because he covets the connection/intimacy/Love with his wife more than anything Lust can provide. (Remember I am single so if I am wrong please edit/remove/respond to this part of the post) Remember, Lust kills Love- Dov

Sorry for the tangent I would suggest talking to HHM for a better understanding.

Life is so much better when not being controlled by Lust. Whenever we give in to Lust even when we think that we are "containing" it, we are just giving it more control over us.

Don't forget to ask Hashem for help in the moment!!!

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

Hi welcome to the greatest community, where help and warmth is top priority, and getting healed is a reality.

I've been thinking about your story since you first posted, or honestly since you dropped your bombshell at me when we chatted privately, your situation really bothered me, and I'm really desperate to see good things coming from you, but you should know that you're not alone, and hope really is on the horizon.

first off I would suggest, that you should read "Shalom Bais's" thread here,  read from the begining till at least page 14, I think you'll really find yourself, in every sentece that he writes.

Then once you're comfortable, please do yourself the greatest favor and call someone, like HHM, or MUTTEL, EERIE, IWLR, PY, and the list goes on. most of the above mentioned's contact info, are listed above in PY'S post.

Keep on trucking, and keep us posted.
With love Akiva

    Have you ever taken a deep breath, straightened you posture, and put on a smile? It does wonders!!
    Tell yourself it will be OK and that it will all work out because Hashem is there for you.
    I made sure to talk to ppl (they were not from GYE) and I've also scheduled a meeting with a rav to discuss the previous post about shidduchim and when it's responsible for me to start.

Thank you all for your support of just being here on this forum, and don't forget to smile. Have a great shabbos!

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

jewizard21 wrote on 15 Nov 2024 02:09:

You're a wizard! 
And a warrior. 


Pick up the phone and call someone. 
It's worth it

Today was really hard, I'm exhausted, stressed, and demoralized, and I'm not even done with the week. Hopefully next week won't be as difficult 
I'll be on gaurd till I'm in a better mood in case my brain tries to tell me that masturbation will help bc I know it wwon't. It would just make things worse.

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

wantingbetter wrote on 14 Nov 2024 21:50:

Keep on trucking and climbing like a monkey after a banana and something ? I forget huh yellow hat and something else. I forget. But it was definitely super inspiring and encouraging yet also gently humorous and warmly welcoming. Probably.

Remarkable comeback. I'm always in awe of the people that fall down, dust themselves off, and get back on to the horse and keep on climbing. You've overcome the main נסיון which is not to let yourself become despondent over the fall. You know as well as we all do that you're not back to square one, but have taken a tumble, and are climbing higher from the point on the ladder that you landed. A small setback in the scheme of the big picture. The one negative part of the streaks that there is on these forums, is that it gives the impression that yesterday I was a 187, whereas now I'm only a 1. Nothing could be further from the truth. Yesterday you were an 'עובד ה, and today you are no less 'עובד ה. The moment we define ourselves by our streaks, is the moment when the fight becomes a way to inflate our egos with pride (which might not be the worst thing, given that we're doing it to conquer the lust, it might be גאוה דקדושה). The streaks are there as a tool to help motivate us to get closer to 'ה. If that is the objective, then your still doing a heck of a good job at it. Keep on trucking and inspiring!

Just remember that you were clean for 187 days. Today may have broken your streakand are starting a new one, but make tomorrow day 188 clean. 

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!