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27 Jan 2023 05:17
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Markz
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Geshmak! wrote on 27 Jan 2023 04:48:
A person needs a lot of Siyatta Dishmaya to find a good therapist and also that he should he be able to help you. I started going to therapy recently ( long story how I ended up there, maybe I’ll post abt it a different time when I get some extra time in my life) and I davened very strongly to H’ that he should be the right shilyach to help me. And bh I’m having major progress and finding out amazing things about myself that is really helping me in all aspects in my life. I’m opening up to old painful Periods in my life. Like being bullied in my class and getting blamed from my parents for it… ouch ! It heart and I actually forget long ago about it but together with my therapist I remember it and I remembered that the way I would escape the pain was by going in to a different world a world of fake a world of fantasies were everything is just so beautiful… it’s a long story and I don’t got the time but I basically got so addicted to living in the fantasy world that when I grow up the second I have tough moments I just go there. Whatever I really got to right my whole story maybe one day. But my point is that therapy works but you just need a lot of SiyattaDishmaya to be matzlich! So take out a tehilem before next time you go and say some chapters with all your heart to your father in haven and bhy you’ll see amazing results!!
Btw it can take time to see results like I was getting nervous after two weeks of not seeing progress ( I’m that impatient type) but I bh saw pretty fast after . But 6 months is a long time. So it can be frustrating especially when you’re paying top dollar. So I really hope you see success really fast! Love ya! Good luck ! And have a beautiful shabbos!!
Amazing that you’re getting the help you need.
People are not Trucks. You open the hood, turn a switch, slam dunk, and keep on trucking. It doesn’t work like that - there’s no one size fits all therapist / therapy modality.
We each need something else.
Some one once said “You know why 6 milli on Jews died in the holocaust? There’s 6 milli on reas ons”
Sometimes it means the therapist isn’t the right fit, but many times it’s a matter of taking time. And then for others therapy isn’t enough - they can do with SA meetings etc.
iwannalivereal I hope you find what you need - in good time.
KOTYT
Keep On Trucking YOUR Truck
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29 Jan 2023 03:04
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OivedElokim
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Wow.
So much inner strength.
So much commitment to things that transcend temporal passions.
"Moods come and go, but greatness endures"
I have a lot to learn from you.
Keep on trucking!
Love,
OivedElokim
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22 Feb 2023 10:25
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Yosef Hamevakesh
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First of all Welcome to the posting crew!! It's really a big step, and be"h it should be a tool that will now help you to come clean.
Secondly, it sounds like you're pretty observant of what circumstances and situations lead up to your falls which is also a big deal, because it'll help you to avoid what triggers you and you can end up with a clear plan on how to keep winning.
Third, it sounds like you've come to the understanding that this fight isn't an all or nothing. You gotta keep fighting the battles, even though you may have falls along the way. The fact that you fell, doesn't mean that you failed, it's a normal part of growing higher (The fact that I didn't understand this made think I was hopeless and kept me depressed for years). This understanding can make a difference in the fight like the diff. btwn night and day.
In regards to what you said about streaks and filters, I would like to humbly state my opinion here:
Streaks are a great tool if you use them properly. Watching the number go up every day can be a huge boost and a reminder to what you really want and that your growing. Another thing which they can be a helpful for is that you can celebrate when you reach x amount of days. If the streak is something that you're obsessing over, than you might be right that it's not for you right now. But if the streak isn't the focal point, rather just a boost that's running in the background, it can help a lot.
In regards to filters, I think that for most of us, it's practically impossible to stay clean without one. We higher our chances of staying clean when we have one. I personally am very careful that I don't have apps which I can access content that my filter won't read. Also with probably any real filter you can easily block installing new apps which will have bad content.
FIlters aren't foolproof, and if you find yourself constantly looking for ways around it (yes, it's normal and we've all been there), maybe do what HHM suggested me and many others: Get Webchaver. This step pretty much put a stop to my looking at bad content instantaneously.
Either way, Keep On Trucking.! We're happy for you to join the forums live, and hope that you stick around. Every one of us here gives everyone else chizuk, so we're happy that you decided to open up חביבי!
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24 Feb 2023 00:28
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Teshuvahguy
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Day #1 post fall. I will continue to…
KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!
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06 Mar 2023 05:01
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Emes-a-Yid
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Canistop wrote on 06 Mar 2023 04:05:
Thanks all for the kind chizuk!
Bh I keep on moving, was bh only one fall instead of chain reaction, forgetting about it and saying that it never happened
2x45 is also 90, will get there iyh
trying not think and move on if you keep yourself busy it's much easier to resist the urge
So when I keep busy I try not to think of the challenges and don't log on
Today I'm down a bit down, had crazy urges so trying to come on here instead of...
Gishmak that you have a pulse, one string pulse is better than n one, keep on trucking till a m onth then 2 then few bzh hatzlacha!!
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09 Mar 2023 18:31
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Eerie
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Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 08 Mar 2023 21:53:
Ok so today was day 18....tomorrow will be day 1.
HHM always says "shmattas masturbate" and thats exactly how i felt today. So many things weren't going right I just gave in.
People always say that they feel worse afterwards but for some reason i feel a huge release of stress when i fall. Sure intellectually i know its terrible, but emotionally i dont really feel gross. Am i a born rasha?
I'm sorry for the fall, my dear friend. But d on't worry about it too much. I d on't know about you, but when I signed up to GYE I didn't get an email stating that all members of this society are free from the temptati ons and enticements of the YH. Actually, the opposite is true. At the YH headquarters they get an urgent message a few weeks ago. It stated as follows "Urgent memo!!!! Our loyal subject, Yeshayahu (or Bradley, depending on the day:)) has revolted! He has just signed up to GYE and had declared that he will no l onger be taking orders from us. Troops, take up positi ons! This means war!" THe YH never sleeps. And sometimes he gets us. And then we KEEP ON TRUCKING!!! You w onder why you d on't feel ich, and then you write "can some one please PM a tuna sandwich", my friend, you feel like a w onderful pers on does after he falls, and now just get up and move ON!!!
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28 Mar 2023 16:18
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Markz
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iLoveHashem247 wrote on 28 Mar 2023 15:55:
I want to give a public shout out to the moderators for catching something that I wrote in the post above that could be triggering to others and editing it.
thank you!
It was caught by one of the local fishermen here. You’re welcome.
KEEP ON TRUCKING & POSTING - YOU’RE DOING GREAT BRO 
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16 May 2023 22:35
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Markz
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“Cord. You wrote to me in a derisive and belittling way”
That section of his comment was not addressed to you AT ALL. It might have helped if he would’ve started off his first line writing who he is replying to first.
Skip that section.
Read the Rest.
Take a Rest.
Keep on Trucking!
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17 May 2023 01:18
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Captain
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I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It's amazing that you're hanging on through it all! If you want something that will help change your perspective on this fight, please read The Battle of the Generation. (See link below in my signature.) Keep on trucking!
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31 May 2023 17:29
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Eerie
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lionking wrote on 31 May 2023 13:37:
Been struggling for 20+ years, before my bar mitzvah even. Not sure if that is considered a success. It definitely isn't in my opinion.
Yes, I've come a long way. But I still keep doing things that are wrong every once in a while after so many years. I cannot get my brain rewired that these behaviors are off limits even if I am aroused, overtired, overwhelmed, stressed, fill in the blanks, etc...
My friend, of course that's success! The fact that you've been struggling for years, hey, that's the human c onditi on to a certain extent. And you yourself admit that you've come a l ong way, so what's the questi on, of course that's success! Keep on trucking, my holy friend!
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12 Jul 2023 16:46
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chaimoigen
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yud909 wrote on 12 Jul 2023 08:15:
BH the last week the fight has been getting easier, now is when I need to work on not growing complacent.
Day 16
Keep on trucking!!
Something that might help is to review and think about your reas ons and ambiti on to want to live clean.
After a couple of weeks it sometimes starts to be easy to take the Tahara for granted....And therein lies a pitfall
Hazlacha, friend!
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23 Jul 2023 15:09
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monseyyid41
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Hey Eerie, I've been really busy this past month and I haven't been on GYE much. Today I had a few minutes so I came on just to see what's doing and the first thing I bumped into was your poem from June 19.
WOW! How do I describe it? Beautiful? Touching? Meaningful? All of that sounds too trite to capture the essence of this poem. So I'll stop here and just tell you a few things: 1. Mazel Tov on this incredible milestone. 2. As others have mentioned, we're so happy you hit the submit button. It's all of us here who have gained so much from you this past year. 3. Keep on inspiring yourself and us. (And Keep on Trucking!).
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04 Aug 2023 17:00
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chaimoigen
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In the Zchus of the efforts that you, my special Heilige friend, are investing for Kedusha and Tahara, may the Reb ono Shel Olam send only Simcha and Bracha. C onnecting to His bracha (not Wifi  )
Keep on trucking and climbing!
Git Shabbos
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06 Aug 2023 13:56
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true_self
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chaimoigen wrote on 04 Aug 2023 17:00:
In the Zchus of the efforts that you, my special Heilige friend, are investing for Kedusha and Tahara, may the Reb ono Shel Olam send only Simcha and Bracha. C onnecting to His bracha (not Wifi )
Keep on trucking and climbing!
Git Shabbos
Hashem's brachos come through wireless (but he doesn't need wifi) 
Chaim, You are the best!!! You open up my eyes to see חיים אמיתיים!
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30 Aug 2023 12:39
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chaimoigen
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Terrific! 40 Days is Yetziras HaVlad - formation and creation!
Keep On Trucking, friend!
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31 Aug 2023 13:16
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chaimoigen
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bright wrote on 31 Aug 2023 04:07:
remaininganonymous26 wrote on 31 Aug 2023 01:02:
I made it to about 50 days, and I just had a fall today.
To be honest I have mixed feelings about the fall. Obviously, a fall is disappointing, and as far as I got, I was not able to make it to the full 90 days. I feel bad about myself, and wonder if I can ever break free. I need some chizuk to pick myself up.
On the other hand, part of me is actually happy that I fell. I feel like I am able to recommit myself to my journey, and it is an opportunity to start anew. Before I fell I noticed myself slacking off, and spending time in the "yellow zone," justifying to myself that it is not so bad going on that website. But now that I have fallen, I feel like I have an opportunity to restart, be mechazek, and keep on swinging!
One thing I want to do differently next round is to post my journey every 10 days on this thread. Hopefully, that will help me in my fight.
Any chizuk would be appreciated. Half of me feels like it still needs help and I hope I have the strength to pick myself up and restart!
Sheva yipol tzaddik. Its part of the process. Learn from your mistakes. How can you prevent the "yellow z one" from happening? Where there triggers that could have been dealt with before? But like HHM said, its part of the hike. You are now a different pers on. If some one would have told you you would be able to get to a state of doing this only five times a year, would you have thought that possible? Prob not. Take it to the next level!
Get up, keep going on. You're a fighter. You're still in the ring, you can win this.
Keep on trucking. You're a good man.
Just one point to add to all these truths.
Sometimes a pers on can have a feeling that "let me get the fall over with already and then start fresh". This, too, is a slick trick from that slippery guy.
C ontrary to what the Yetzer wants us to believe - you can start fresh even without a fall happening. Sometimes we d on't realize what happens until it's too late. And sometimes we realize, even though "still in the yellow z one" that it 'aint great. That's also a great time to start fresh.....
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04 Sep 2023 19:30
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Eerie
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I love it, my friend. I'm just a mushy guy, and I got all emotional thinking of the scene you described. My friend, keep on trucking, and keep on posting!
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05 Sep 2023 17:25
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chancy
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ILH247,
I know that we dont know each other in real life, but i think i know you better than i know my own brother..... from reading your very deep insightful posts....
The human mind is the most fascinating organ in the world and the most complex. It can cause us so much pain but even more pleasure.
I feel your pain even though i was BH never in your exact situation, i wish you all the best in your continued growth journey.
Remember that the physical body doesnt last very long at all, its the soul that lives forever and your soul will be very thankful for doing all of this hard work now, because every time you fight back and strengthen your resolve and keep on trucking, you are growing your soul by leaps and bounds!
Keep on growing and loving Hashem!
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22 Sep 2023 22:24
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eerie
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Hi! 5 months is great! Keep on trucking, and remember that we are here, waiting to hear from you. We care about you and we are all in this together. Please keep us posted
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