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08 Dec 2017 04:39
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lionking
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I haven't updated in a while. B"H the past few weeks were much better, even though I fell beginning of this week. I have masturbated in a half sleep trance, however I only c onsidered it a fall for the chart's sake, internally I didn't process it as a fall.
As a matter of fact I should probably c onsider it a victory, since I had with me an unfiltered smartph one and I didn't try to access porn on it, which was a standard in the past.  Warning: Spoiler!I know what you are going to say, get yourself a filter for goodness sake.
Even though I do not agree that filters are benefical for everyone, I personally have my device locked down, no browser, etc... However I am in constant contact with alot of different devices, most aren't filtered. I strongly believe that people cannot become complacent on a filter, but must learn how to live without it. I think I am going to chose the third opti on, and not c onsider it anything and just keep on trucking al ong. Git Shabbos every one.
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08 Dec 2017 06:58
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Markz
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Welcome Dan
Great - you started step 1 partially :-)
Keep on Trucking!
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19 Dec 2017 14:10
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Markz
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Why is it that the "Torah" approach never worked for many of us?
א"ר לוי בר חמא א"ר שמעון בן לקיש, לעולם ירגיז אדם יצר הטוב על יצר הרע, נצחו מוטב, ואם לאו יעסוק בתורה, ניצחו מוטב ואם לאו יקרא ק"ש, אי אזיל ליה מוטב, ואם לאו יזכיר לו יום המיתה - ברכות דף ה
Its clear from this Gemara that
משכהו לבית המדרש is guaranteed to fail for some struggles, and the true Torah approach to combatting the Yetzer is to use all the tools at our disposal and not lean solely on עסק התורה / Beis Hamedrash forum
Hatzlacha gye's and Keep on Trucking!!
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20 Dec 2017 22:48
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Markz
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bardichev wrote on 25 Sep 2011 15:57:
can we get at least 100 petitions from this forum
so at least there will be some teshuvas hamishkol
i petitioned who else??
keep this thred alive!!!!!!!!
Ok mr " Keep On Trucking" this thread is alive (where are you????)
WHOOOPEEEEEEEE
Sholom Rubashkin is free!!!
Any strugglers out there? Read this thread and lets take on something small in gratitude to Gd for us to find our own freedom / sobriety too ;-)
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21 Dec 2017 08:42
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Josephsbrother
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Markz wrote on 19 Dec 2017 14:10:
Why is it that the "Torah" approach never worked for many of us?
א"ר לוי בר חמא א"ר שמעון בן לקיש, לעולם ירגיז אדם יצר הטוב על יצר הרע, נצחו מוטב, ואם לאו יעסוק בתורה, ניצחו מוטב ואם לאו יקרא ק"ש, אי אזיל ליה מוטב, ואם לאו יזכיר לו יום המיתה - ברכות דף ה
Its clear from this Gemara that
משכהו לבית המדרש is guaranteed to fail for some struggles, and the true Torah approach to combatting the Yetzer is to use all the tools at our disposal and not lean solely on עסק התורה / Beis Hamedrash forum
Hatzlacha gye's and Keep on Trucking!!
I do not know all the Jewish tools, but I am glad I use all the tools I have for the journey, it has made the difference for me, i AM VERY PLEASE TO HAVE SOME JEWISH TOOLS TOO, THAT I can count on, it is now two years of victory, and bless be HaShem the success is my Infinite Father, while from time to time I stay as l ong as it takes at this site, and leave only when my inspirati on cup is full. I glad that the ONE who is always with me, is my dearest friend, I could not watch my eyes, and my thoughts without the One, I labor in vain to build a whole life without the Greatest One.
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02 Jan 2018 12:59
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mikestruggling
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Yesterday I made a mistake. It was decided that I can't walk a certain way at a certain time to Yeshiva due to a women who triggers me who stands there every day. Yesterday it was raining so my addict mind said I need to get the bus so I have to go that way. (Even though someone offered me a free taxi I would just have to wait for him two minutes, I am absolutely insane). Obviously, I looked for her saw her and had a horrible 24 hours lust-wise.
Hashem help me surrender my will to walk that way.
Thanks for letting me share.
Keep On Trucking (but if it's better to walk then walk of course)
Have a great day!!
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02 Jan 2018 13:48
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Hashem Help Me
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mikestruggling wrote on 02 Jan 2018 12:59:
Yesterday I made a mistake. It was decided that I can't walk a certain way at a certain time to Yeshiva due to a women who triggers me who stands there every day. Yesterday it was raining so my addict mind said I need to get the bus so I have to go that way. (Even though someone offered me a free taxi I would just have to wait for him two minutes, I am absolutely insane). Obviously, I looked for her saw her and had a horrible 24 hours lust-wise.
Hashem help me surrender my will to walk that way.
Thanks for letting me share.
Keep On Trucking (but if it's better to walk then walk of course)
Have a great day!!
Super post. H onest and human/vulnerable. We all should learn from Mike to recognize our weak points h onestly and plan accordingly. Avoidance, surrender, fight - whatever mehalech works for each of us
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11 Jan 2018 12:24
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Hashem Help Me
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Mayan, you and Markz both need to be applauded for your honesty. It is an inspiration for everyone that you are transparent and courageous in sharing being human. Secondly, you both keep on trucking - a lesson to us all.
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19 Jan 2018 01:32
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Markz
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KallOurTherapist
Keep On Trucking = Keep Up the Good Work
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24 Jan 2018 01:56
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im not alone
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Its been a while...
I was really browsing and staying in the dark for way too long!
But I'm starting anew,
Today is my second clean day.. I'm really striving and hoping that ill have the kochos to pull it off this time.. to the 90 day wall of honor.
Iyh bli neder, ill moderately post how it goes with my struggle. If ill be able to stand tall for full 7 days, ill start a new thread, and call it home (to my new life)
off we go
keep on trucking (are we still using this slang here!!)
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24 Jan 2018 03:12
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Markz
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Welcome
I was acting out between dating and marriage, so it's a perfect time to start recovery.
Keep On Trucking!!
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06 Feb 2018 08:05
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ieeyc
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unfortunately this mashal can be applied to sa, ive been clean for so long," this calls for a lust "-Hashem should give us ALL chizuk to climb out of the pit of lust ,brush ourselves off and keep on trucking!
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09 Mar 2018 04:52
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Markz
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Yerushalmi wrote on 08 Mar 2018 23:08:
If anything, this supports my belief that I'm just holding my breath. Clearly I'm doing something wrong.
NOT TRUE!!!!!!!
You are growing str onger by the day! You are in fact so str ong, that the yetzer decided to up the ante to the next level! You found yourself at an event that triggered an extreme ta'aveh. 30 days ago, you would not have hesitated to give in. But now, the new you, the str onger you, FOUGHT IT OFF FOR AN ENTIRE NIGHT!!!
Why do you keep thinking that you are holding your breath? Each end every time that you are triggered, but do nothing IS A VICTORY IN IT OF ITSELF! You w on today's fight, end of story! Now you are faced with tomorrow's fight. Remind yourself that you are now a fighter! If you w on once, you can win again!!
Hatzlacha!
נאט טרו!!!
Actually it depends on each pers on. But in general "If you w on you can win again" essentially = "if you fight you can fight again" which essentially = "holding my breath".
So l ong as we are fighting and winning we have a problem. Some of us are ok with such a life, and can survive 120 years like this
Either way it's not working for me because recently I've been fighting and losing too much.
Im currently focusing on learning how to be "Living life" and reading R Twersky on the subject and making small strides BH
Hatzlacha on whatever path you choose
KOTTT
Keep on Trucking Tanking Tooting!!!
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11 Mar 2018 14:42
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ayidel
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I wouldn't call it wasting time as every tip could come to use if not in an affirmative way at least in a way you will be able to help others by showing what won't work
But even more important we have been sent here for perfection and bettering ourself and while the outside enviorment does not look that way as they honor results and not work we must remember that the work is the main part and be ready to give what it takes to become better so keep on trucking as they say here and you will get there but ceartinlly don't shy away from trying different ways
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09 Apr 2018 20:25
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lomed
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hi shvisi,
Have not been in touch with you Pretty long. Thanks for sharing and thanks for your honesty. you have dont lots of hard work. this fall is not easy. I have had one as well a bit over a year ago, as you remember. please read my thread the last 2 or 3 pages and you will see that it is indeed possible to pick myself up after a fall with Hashems help.
Keep on trucking brother and you will be fine. it is a new era in your recovery, and im sure you will recover and move forward.
Lomed
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09 Apr 2018 20:54
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Shivisi_Hashem
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lomed wrote on 09 Apr 2018 20:25:
hi shvisi,
Have not been in touch with you Pretty long. Thanks for sharing and thanks for your honesty. you have dont lots of hard work. this fall is not easy. I have had one as well a bit over a year ago, as you remember. please read my thread the last 2 or 3 pages and you will see that it is indeed possible to pick myself up after a fall with Hashems help.
Keep on trucking brother and you will be fine. it is a new era in your recovery, and im sure you will recover and move forward.
Lomed
i remember your fall, and i will read your thread.. thanks
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15 Apr 2018 14:56
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iampowerless
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ieeyc wrote on 13 Apr 2018 19:35:
i really hope things work out, chazak!
no expert ,but would just like to know if youre still working on to stay clean TODAY o.d.a.a.t. ,or in the back of your mind youre thinking that you have to get back to your record of 104 days?(104 days ?!, OMG !...Boom! fall.)
wishing to hear good news.
My good friend Mr Anxiety absolutely tries this tactic "or in the back of your mind youre thinking that you have to get back to your record of 104 days?(104 days ?!, OMG !...Boom! fall.) "
But i listen to what my Friend Mr. Anxiety tells me and i answer him back you are right 104 clean days is really sweet but acting out is just going to delay reaching anything great again so that's not the soluti on.
Also to be h onest 104 clean days is sweet but even sweeter than that is 4 clean days after falling from a streak of 104 clean days! So ODAAT I will keep on trucking!
 Love Yankel!
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17 Apr 2018 04:33
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Ihavestrength
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Also to be h onest 104 clean days is sweet but even sweeter than that is 4 clean days after falling from a streak of 104 clean days! So ODAAT I will keep on trucking!
Love Yankel!
Why do you feel that these 4 clean days are sweeter?
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19 Apr 2018 20:44
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iampowerless
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Ihavestrength wrote on 17 Apr 2018 04:33:
Also to be h onest 104 clean days is sweet but even sweeter than that is 4 clean days after falling from a streak of 104 clean days! So ODAAT I will keep on trucking!
Love Yankel!
Why do you feel that these 4 clean days are sweeter?
Not allowing yourself to stay low rather picking yourself up and showing hashem i'm not d one fighting is pretty sweet!
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