*disclaimer LONDON and DOV I wrote this while you were writng to me*

THANKS FOR THE RESPECT IT IS DEFINATELY NOT DUE TO ME .I FEEL LIKE I AM BEING GOREM MACHLOKES.

AGAIN I AM NOT IN DEBATING MODE I AM IN STATEMENT MODE(I know that is not very humble)

I ASK FOR A BIT OF PATIENCE PLEASE HEILIGER GUARD REB DOV LONDON PLEASE BE PATIENT(i re-read all your posts)

#1 I WILL NOT DEBATE THE MERITS OR THE DE-MERITS OF 12 STEPS .IF YOU READ MY POSTS I ALWAYS SAY I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM ALL I READ UP ON THE BUT I NEVER WORKED THEM I WILL NOT PASKEN ON THEM.
#2 IF IT WORKS FOR YOU GREAT MORE THAN GREAT YOU NEED TO BE DANCING FROM SIMCHA AND YOU SHOULD ALL BE PROUD .MAYBE EVEN PROUDER THAN ME BECAUSE YOU WENT THROUGH HARDER STEPS BI-RABIM TO GET HEALED
I AM REALLY BEING HONEST YOUR OPENNESS AND EXPERIENCE IS REFRESHING ESPECIALLY ON A TOPIC WHICH IS STILL LIKE SHAA LETS TALK ABOUT THIS OUTSIDE ETC..

SO GET TO THE POINT bardichev!
THHE POINT IS SIMPLE TORAH IS NOT DEBATEABLE. TORAH IS.TORAH IS THE BLUE PRINT OF THE WORLD  .TORAH IS THE MEKOR (SOURCE) OF ALL  WISDOM. TORAH IS WHERE WE FIND THE CONCEPT OF SIN THE CONCEPT OF ADDICTION THE CONEPT OF TESHUVA

TWO THINGS PRECEDED THE WORLDS CREATION TORAH AND TESHUVA

BACK TO  MY POINT. THERE IS NO WHERE IN TORAH THAT SPELLS OUT A PROGRAM FOR TESHUVA OUR RISHONIM GIVE US  A FEW
JUST BY HAVING A PROGRAM WHICH IS NOT MENTIONED IN THE TORAH DOES NOT MAKE IT UNHOLY THER ARE MANY DIVREI  RESHUS WE DO THAT ARE NOT MENTIONED IN THE TORAH

BUT WHEN DO WE MUSTER UP THE CHUTZPAH TO SAY THE TORAH DOES NOT WORK?? ( I THINK I JUST SLIPPED INTO A DEBATE SORRY)

YES THE TORAH DOES NOT SPELL OUT AN ORGANIZED SYSTEM WITH SPONSORS AND MEETINGS AND HELPFUL TIPS ALL IN ONE PLACE .I AGREE BUT DOES THAT CH"V TAKE AWAY FROM TORAH?? ( YOISH AGAIN DEBATING THAT bardichev little sneak)
TORAH IS ANIYM BIMAKOM ECHAD AHIRIM BIMAKOM ACHER. FOR THIOS VERY REASON THAT WHEN SOMEONE LEARNS A DEEP SUGYA OF TUKFO KOHEN A FEW BLATT LATER THE TORAH WANTS HIM TO HEAR SOME DIVREI MUSSAR.

YOUR PROBLEM IS NOT WITH TORAH (ah bardichev is back in the groove being meilitztov on yiddin) YOUR PROBLEM IS AND IT IS MY PROBLEM AND IT IS THE PROBLEM WITH ALL THAT  RELATES TO INYANEI KEDUSHA .THE PROBLEM IS IT IS DIFFICULT TO TEACH ,ESPECIALLY BI-RABIM AND ESPECIALLY OUR RABBIS (FOR BETTER OR WORSE) HAD NO CLUE AS HOW TO DEAL WITH THESE INYANIM AND IF THEY DID THEY DIDN'T COME ACROSS IN A NON-JUDGEMENTAL WAY.BUT THERe IS NOTHING THAT YOU WILL NOT FIND IN TORAH.

LETS TAKE ME FOR A CUTE LITTLE EXAMPLE I STRUGGLED WITH NISYONOS SINCE FIRST YEAR HIGHH SCHOOL.IT ONLY GOT WORSE AS I GOT OLDER.I HAVE RABBIEM FROM ALL ENDS OF THE SPECTRUM FROM THE KEDUHAS LEVI TO THE BAIS HALEVY AND I READ EVERY WORD IN LEV ELIYAHU AND ALMOST ALL OF IGROS CHAZON ISH AND STEPLER GAON TO ALMOST EVERY WORD OF NESIVAS SHALOM ETC.. AND I WAS STILL STRUGGLING
DOES THAT NEGATE THE KOACH OF TORAH CH"V IT IS ONLY TORAH THAT SAID bardichev keep on trucking!!!YOU WILL GET THERE

I GOT OFF TARGET IN A NUTSHELL
12 STEPS IS GOOD GEVALDIG A LIFESAVER YESS YESS YES NO QUESTIONS
TORAH IS LIFE
12 STEPS A LIFE SAVING PROGRAM CPR YES (YES LONDON I UNDERSTAND WHY A ROV CAN PASKEN TO CALL ON SHABBOS )
(BTW LONDON YOU ARE SOOO HOLY I CRY FROM TESHUVA EVERY TIME I READ YOUR POSTS)
TORAH IS LIFE TORAH IS THE ONLY ANTIDOTE TO Y"H

TALK ALL THE MERITS OF THE 12 STEPS .YOU SHOULD IT'S GOOD AND HEALTHY AND THE LAST TIME I CHECKED IT IS YOUR WEBSITE
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON"T STEP ON THE HEILIGER TORAH

HASHIVEINU HASHEM EILECHE VINASHUVA CHADESH YAMEINU KIKEDEM!!!

very humble and yet very proud to be a  small part of this HEILIGER CHABURAH
BARDICHEV OOPS
bardichev

Tayara Tayara Maalin BKodesh,

Kedusha makes a great point.

You have to understand where you want to end up. Make sure that you will be interested in the girls that are interested in boys that look like you. (I hope that makes sense)

I am in no way telling you to change anything you are doing - just to refelect on Kedushas words. If you feel that your target shidduch aligns with your outside look, then Kol Hakovod - Keep on Trucking

BTW, I reread my first post to you and realized that the reason for telling you my story was "Iker Chosom Min Hasefer". I wanted to point out that I understand your discomfort from being the target of people staring and talking about you. I live in Boro Park where many to most Yidden have full beards. I remmember going to the Mikvah with my 7 year old, and a Bochur who knows me looked at me and couldn't stopped staring. Even my son made a remark that "Tatty, he is staring at you. It is because you cut your beard". Others who actually felt more Heimish with me came over and asked what happened - but not all.

No matter what you end up doing, I just want to express how blown away I am with someone who will go through something like this for the sake of Kedusha. Even if you end up somewhere in the middle, your Korbo Olah will always be burning on the Mizba'ach shel Maloh.

Hakodosh Baruch Hu, Alecha Horagnu Kol Hayom!

Pintele Yid

GEVALDIIGGGGGGG

YOUR CHESHEK ??

YOU JUST REACHED THE NEXT LEVEL,CONGRATS

IF THE CHESHEK WAS HERE ALL THE TIME YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER FOUND THIS ADDICTION TO BEGIN WITH

NO WORK WITHOUT CHESHEK

YES MY GOOD FRIEND YOU WILL FEEL WITHDRAWEL SYMPTOMS,THAS NOOOOOOOORMAL

DO NOT TEST YOUR Y"H (YUP HE IS STILL THERE)

KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!

EVERY LITTLE THING YOU DO A VIEW YOU AVOID A CLICK YOU HOLD BACK  ETC..

IS AN ATOM BOMB !!!!

b

KEEP ON TRUCKING

DANCING

LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE TOES WHATEVER

DO NOTHING

guardureyes wrote on 29 Aug 2009 18:41:

Hilarious, the whole thing. When really I can't figure out if I was right or wrong, see I'm getting tyed in a knot, or if thinking about it isn't healthy for me, I just assume it's not meant for me to understand at all and I guess that Hashem wants me to just move on (keep on trucking). Who knows what was going on there? None of our business, for sure. You can still daven a half a minute for the kolel wife and for her husband and for yourself. Then put in a good word for me... Maybe for me first.  ;D

YES  ME

I WAS TOTALLY CONVINCED BY MYSELF THAT I WAS "SHVACH'AND I NEEDED THIS JUNK TO BE NORMAL

MORMAL?? YOU ASK SNEAKING OUT OF THE HOUSE TO BUY MILK A 1 AM TO SEE JUNK IN THE OFFICE

NORMAL SIT IN THE BAYS HAKISEI WITH 2 DEAD LEGS TO SEE JUNK ON A PALM TREO THE JUNK WAS

MAYBE 4"X4"
BUT THAT IS THE STOOOOOOOOOOOOPIDTY ( I AM NOT STUPID I KNOW HOW STUPID IS SPELLED)

STAY CLEAN AND YOU WILL FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF

YOU WILL FEEL HUGE

YOU WILL SAY I AM A PERSON NOT A BUG THAT GETS EXCITED FROM THE SLIGHTEST STIMULI

BE A MAN SHMILU

HANG IN THER AND KEEP ON TRUCKING

NEVER MAKE A NEBECHIL OUT OF YOURSELF

IT IS ATZAS HAYETZER 101
b

OK bARDICHEV IS SOOO PREDICTABLE

TOO BAD

MORE SHMORE

DO THE RIGHT THING

KEEP ON TRUCKING

YES MARRIAGE HAS ITS BENEFITS

ONCE YOU ABUSE THOSE PRVLAGES

IT IS "WORSE THAN BEING SINGLE"

MY 2 GROSHEN

b

GEVALDIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

BALANCE
BALANCE

THERE ARE TIMES YOU NEED NEED NEED TO LOOK AT THE GOUND OR YOU WILL BE DEAD MEAT

OTHER TIMES I FIND KEEP ON TRUCKING A GREAT MEHALICH
MOVE FAST

IN THE BANK SMUDGING THE GLASSES GRANTED IT IS FLAKY BUT LOOKING IS WORSE
SO I SMUDGE THE GLASSES AS A REMINDER

"DON'T LOOK AT SOMETHING THATS NOT YOURS"

KEEP BUSY

ALWAYS TRY DO DO SOMETHING  PRE-EMPTIVE

LIKE BEFORE YOU GO TO CHASUNAH TELL YOURSELF YOU WILL BEHAVE

IF YOU SEE SOMETHING OR CATCH YOURSELF LOOKING

TURN AWAY EVEN IF ITS SLOWLY BUT..BUT.. DONT LOOK AGAIN JUST TO MAKE SURE

First of all, stop being so negative.

You broke 30 days. I've been at it for months and have yet to crack 25.
I fell on Tisha b'Av.
I'm not in a serious relationship, never was, and don't know when I will be.

So I have more to complain about than you but I don't. I lower my shoulder, grit my teeth, and keep on trucking.


How do you go toward YK like this?
With your head up.

With a name like Nishmas How can you have an upsetting morning?

Just look into the words! Gevald are the Deep!

Hashem loves us no matter what.

Keep on Trucking!

What are peoples' thoughts on this sort of occurance?

MIKVAH

LEARN TORAH

BASICALLY KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!!

Noorah BAmram wrote on 01 Oct 2009 12:48:



if i  may add

if you slip ch"v

all is not lost

just grab hold of the steering wheel and

KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!!

SIMCHAS TORAH WAS GREAT GREAT!!

I ONLY SAW JOHNS WIFE FOR A SPLIT SECOND (WHO THE HARRY IS HARRY
IM HAVING A HARD ENOUGH TIME WITH JOHNS)

ANY HOW SHE WALKED  PASSED RIGHT BY ME "AZOI VEE CHAVELEH TZIM GET'
(SORRY ITS YIDDISH EFSHAR LETAKEN CAN TRANSLATE IT)

SHE SMILED(IM THINKINING SHE IS NUTS HERE I AM WALKING WITH 4 OF THE LITTLE b'S)

THEN I SAID OH! I KNOW HER SHE IS JOHNS WIFE FUGGGEDABOUTIT!!!

KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!!

AND I DID!!!

BTW EFSHAR AND I FOUND A PIECE OF ART IN THE GARBAGE I PICKED IT UP TO SEE IF IT HAD VALUE

EFSHAR DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CHUCKED IT??
YUP BY THE MILK CRATES BY BOCHNERS!! (100% EMES)
b

TZADIKKLE

IF YOU FOLLOW SOME OF MY POSTS

(BARDICHEVS BATTLE AND LATELY HARRYS WIFE)

YOU WILL SEE I REMOVE THE WHOLE BRAINYNESS AND PHSYKOLJEE-NESS

FROM THIS BATTLE

ITS BEEN COINED THE TEORY OF KEEP ON TRUCKING OR FELL SHMELL ETC.

WHAT I TRY TO SAY AND IT WORKS FOR ME IS 2 THINGS

NUMER UNO #1
THE YH (YETZER HORA) DOES 'NOT" AGAIN 'NOT' NEED YOUR SIN HE 'NEEDS' YOUR DEPRESSION THAT COMES ONCE YOU HAVE SINNED

AHH YOU ARE DEPRESSED YOU ARE EMPTY LIFELESS AHHH THE VAMPIRE SUCKED ALL THE 'CHIYUS' OUT OF YOU YOU ARE LOW AHH YOU ARE ANY HOW NEVER GOING TO BE PERFCET AHHH NOW HE OWNS YOU YOU ARE HIS LITTLE TOY!!

NUMERO DOS #2
THE YH NEEDS TO CONVINCE YOU THE THERE ARE 'GORMIM' TRIGGERS OR FAULTS
THAT MAKE YOU IMPERFECT BUT.. BUT.. YOPU REALLY ARE GOOD.
LIKE IF ONLY HARRYS WIFE WOULD DRESS TZNUA I WOULD BE THE NEXT REB AKIVA EIGER OHHH WHAT ABOUT YOILYS AND YANKIES WIFE?  YH  HEY YH WHHAAA
NOT FAIR!! ( YOU GET MY DRIFT )

NO ONE IS YOUR PROBLEM YES YOU SAW A PRUSATH BILLBOARD NU NU SO THAT 'MEANS"
NO  NEGEL VASSER
NO TZIZTIS
NO TFILLIN
NO TORAH

LEARN TO FUGGEDABOUTIT!!!!

MOVE ON

ROCK ON BABY!!!!

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

THE LIGHTS ARE SHINING TAPE IS ROLLING WE CANT STOP HERE

OK YOU FELL NU NU

MIKVAH SLACH LANU

KEEP ON TRUCKINNNNNN!!!!

bards

In the zechus of your helping others, may Hashem help you pick yourself right back up, and as my good friend Bardichev always says, "Keep on trucking!"  (Whatever that means!  ???)

Don't worry, the first 90 days are the hardest.

Just kidding!

It does get easier, as you get out of the habit of falling.  

But then there are those days that you feel like climbing the wall and ripping out your hair in frustration.

But you just got to keep on trucking.

Striving

There is no denying that your interaction with her filled a physical and emptional need for you, and that you enjoyed it. That's human nature and you can't change that.

At the same time it was also spiritually a zero if not torturous.

That is why you stopped. Coming to the spiritual realization that what you were doing was wrong and having the strength and maturity to stop, doesn't change the fact that you enjoyed the past.

That is probably the hardest thing to reconcile in this area.  We say how much we want to stop and we daven to Hashem to help us stop, and yet when we fall we enjoy every moment (on a very base level) of it.

Getting over a relationship takes time.  More time then 2 weeks.  It takes a very long time for feelings to fade, but they do. And I can't sugar coat it for you by saying it will not be a big deal.

It's tough.
It's rotten.
It's lonely

It's worth it.

So be proud of what you've done so far.  Keep up the good work. Stay tough, and

Keep on trucking...

ur a holy tsadik! thanks for the constant inspiration...keep on trucking dude!

Well, BH that Noora had an easier day. And I was just thinking that perhaps its because he was busy with me today.

Anyway, I sent him packing.

maybe a couple of split seconds later than I would have liked...

nu nu.

I'm a chosid of Bardichev, so I can keep on trucking anyway.


k