101

you keep counting and you keep inspiring.  I am so glad you keep telling the days your on and sharing.

I just had an internet slip.  I was looking up something totally safe on a site which out to be perfectly safe, and I came across some really weird indecent drawings.  It was so weird I had trouble overcoming the curiousity.  BUT, I did leave the page fairly quickly--without scrolling for more drawings.  The thought entered my mind, "Hey, imagine what you'll find if you do a full web search," which I quickly rejected.

I wanted to post, because knowing I am accountable for these things helped me to overcome it.

--Eye.

Your KING!!

Eye.nonymous wrote on 08 Feb 2010 22:09:
Just a tip: Give the entire credit to Hashem for inspiring you with the clarity of mind/yir'as Shomayim/power/freedom to leave it. May we all leave anything bad for us in the dust, and then leave our useless thinking about it in the dust after that, as well!
It's good enough just to be sober and alive!

102.

I had a strange realization recently.  I know there are some things beneath the surface that need work.  I don't think I'll make much progress from here without working on them.

One thing is that I only really think about what's in front of me.  It's weird, sort of like my family stops existing when I leave the house, and they don't pop back into existence until I'm back home.  True, sometimes I think of something my wife needs around the house and I'll pick it up on my way home.  But, overall, I'm generally not thinking about the people who are so important to me.

I think this is something to work on.  And, by the way, I think it would be a lot easier to control my eyes on the street if I remembered I've got a wife and children!

very true very true. Try and make a habit of doing, lets say, 5 things a day for someone else. it will get you in the mode of thinking of others at all times. Its an idea that one of my rabbeim gave to me once.

I find the more I think about my wife and kids the more I want to stay clean.  That is very cool you realized that.  KUTGW!!  102 WOW!!

Just consider keeping giving the entire credit to Hashem for any success in doing that, good cheshbon-hanefesh notwithstanding. Being good isn't enough for me. Hashem helps me, and it's none of my business whether I am moral, immorral, good, or bad. Just whether I am sober. He takes care of the rest.
Tehillim, shir shel yom for Wednesday: "Im omarti: motoh ragli! (then) Chasdecha Hashem yis'adeini"
Be'H, I teitch: If I admit that I can't be frum enough to deserve to be close to You today, nor good enough to deserve to be sober today, then and only then, do You step forward and assist me with your Chessed.
Make sense?
Chow!

103

dov wrote on 09 Feb 2010 17:36:


wow...

A translation of the Dovish:

Im Amarti - If I say/admit: Mata Ragli - I can't. I don't deserve. I'm not good enough.... THEN, Chasdecha hashem Yisadeini!

Eye.nonymous wrote on 08 Feb 2010 22:09:


This is so so precious... It is small things like this that distinguish the succeeders from the failures. This may sound small, but it takes some real messiras nefesh.

Eye, you are shaking the upper worlds!

Keep on trucking!!!

guardureyes wrote on 10 Feb 2010 13:50:


Thanks, Guard.

Keep it up my friend!! Imtrying to learn the things you have to help me on my journey. :-\