Mazal tov, Eye!

Thank you for letting me be a part in your growth!

"I would also like to thank Battleworn for introducing me to Tzidkus HaTzakik."

What is Tzidkus HaTzadik? Can some one give me an explanation and who the other is?

Mazel Tov Reb Eye! Your note from the wife woke up something very deep in me and I felt the need to cry a calm, comfortable cry of gratitude. Your own recovery as of today, should always give hope to you and may you see Hashem helping you each step of the way as you go on from here.  And you have certainly come so far - I remember your early posts and feel the growth - and thanks! It rubs off on all of us! We are mehalchim, of course.
Actually, perhaps we are more like horses running "bvitz'ei hamayim" who need to keep moving forward and growing, lest we sink. It just seems to be the way it is. Hashem will help you do this calmly and joyfully, Amen!

MAZEL TOV MAZEL TOV!!! BARUCH SHE'HECHIYANU V'KIYAMANU V'HIGIYANU LAZMAN HAZEH!!!!

Eye we are all so happy for you. And for your so special wife. Realize what type of treasure you were zoche too. I hope i didnt make your party too intense. It was definitly not my intention. And please thank your wife for everything. I would of liked to thank her personally but we had to rush out. I hope this is only the beginning of many great things for you and your family!!

Wow.  Thanks for all the responses.  I really appreciate it.  I feel like some sort of celebrity.

Today is day 91 (The mezikin have no control over something that's counted--That's a gemara somewhere in Chulin perek Kol HaBasar).

I forgot to mention the gematria yesterday for 90--tzadi(k)!

Sefer Sha'arei Kedusha explains the difference between a tzaddik and a chassid:

A tzaddik is someone who struggles with his yeitzer, but he wins.
A chassid is someone who no longer has a struggle.

Have a good Shabbos everyone.

GUT SHABBOS!!!

Eye.nonymous wrote on 29 Jan 2010 06:55:
Dont feel like a celebrity. YOU ARE ONE!!!

Interesting gemara. Never learned chullin but fron the gemaras ive learned it seems quite the  opposite. :-\ :-\

Oh well either way keep on truckin and have a great shabbos. Shabbos shira. Your first as a 90'er!!

Good Shabbos eye!  Keep up the good work.  I beleive you inspire all that read your posts to keep up on there own journey.

Day 92.

What now!

There was so much momentum and so much hype leading up to 90 days.

What now?

Do I do the same thing for 180 days?  For half a year?  For a year?

Or doesn't it matter so much anymore.  :-\

To be honest I had a little slip yesterday.  I did an image search (always a bad idea) to figure out how to translate a word (for work).  Despite the high security filter, and despite the totally inoccuous subject matter, the first two pictures really surprised me.

I know that if I report these things, they are less likely to happen.  And less likely to spiral downward.

The thought did enter my mind, "Did I discover a new way do get past this filter?"  But I knew I'm not really interested in taking this route.  I didn't keep staring, and I didn't search for more.  (And I just now told my wife--we're going to add a few more words to the filter in another minute).

It did help to realize, "You just did 90 days--your brain is supposed to be re-wired now."

On the other hand, I had a really weird dream last night.  The whole city was doing something that has been a trigger for me (and, under the circumstances in the dream, it was not inappropriate).  I debated to myself in the dream, and in the end decided not to follow the masses because I knew it wouldn't be good for me.

Shavua Tov,

  --Eye.
 

shavua tov eye!
as always, it's great that you're sharing.
there is much that i, and i'm sure others, can learn fro you.
you told your wife, you're adding more filters,
even in your dream, you are are turning away from triggers,
even though everyone is doin' it!
i think that says a lot...
what now?
well, what else can you work on?
tefilla? learning? midos? reading rav arush's books?
pick something and keep moving forward.
and remember, one day at a time!

Hey Eye. A gruulle broch!!! I mean a gutte voch. ( sorry, after the GYE lchaim im still not all the way there )

Anyways great to see that even in your dreams your staying away from triggers. It shows that our subconcious mind is learnign to beware of something no good. Keep it up!!

Try not to think "what now" too much. I cant tell you from expierence but it would seem to me it can be harmful. I think its important we find somehting wweve always felt we can work on, but pushed it off for this. Lets get back to that thing, whatever it may be. Put our full focus in it. And hopefully things well get better.

Keep on rollin!!

Here is a yid who is really working on himself and growing - and NOT FOOLING HIMSELF!

Ahsrecha, eye. May we all learn from you!

"What now?", you ask.
That's like asking "what now?" after a treatment of intense chemo put the cancer in remission.
LIVE LIFE!! - That's WHAT  :D

(and make sure to do all the doctor's say, as to insure it STAYS in remission!)

guardureyes wrote on 30 Jan 2010 20:51:
From meeting you personally, i can honestly say, that Guard himself doesnt realize how true his words are!!!

WHAT NOW?  Get to 93 and then 94 still slowly the same way you got to day 2.  I know you can do it.  I think the less we think of the count itself the better we actual are.  It's just another day clean and living how we want to live.  KUTGW!!!  Remember to always work on yourself.

Eye, why don't you count 90 days again? Seriously!