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day 84 today!! still feel so vulnerable
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: day 84 today!! still feel so vulnerable 1621 Views

day 84 today!! still feel so vulnerable 12 May 2010 09:34 #64884

  • andrewsh
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Hi everyone, at day 84, very proud of myself, but the last week has been so much harder then the last few weeks.

At the beginning almost fell a few times and it was very hard particularly at weekends/quiet/alone time, but bh over the worst of that, but now i am approaching 90, thought things would be easier, my mindframe would be different, and it is on some ways, but still finding it so hard, see pretty women on the street, i look away but it hurts....cnat really explain.

Once I am at 90, i know there is still a big risk that i can fall and that scares me, does it get easier then this?

I must say, although I have not posted so much I obviously could not have come this far without stumbling upon this web site, posting but more reading has really helped me through various issues.

A massive part of staying clean has been through GTalking with cleareyes613, not sure what his name on here is, i needed to find someone who faces the same issues, but cleaner longer, with the same mentality/outlook as me and cleareyes you have been amazing for me, dont want to sound too much like a women, but cheers to you and all the others, i really value it.

I think its quite significant that i will reach 90 onerev shavuos, although not sure how to celebrate/commemorate?

I need you guys to keep me strong...specially now...summer has always been the worst time for me.....its hot...so are the women (sorry) and beaches involved etc....i hope i can stay strong>

have a good day everyone, tell me it will get easier...............................
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Re: day 84 today!! still feel so vulnerable 12 May 2010 11:06 #64895

  • Sturggle
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First of all,
84 DAYS is GREAT!!

Easier? I don't it gets easier except for the fact that you might have learned some good tools along the way to help you out and you have exercised those tools. Maybe in that sense it could be easier.

Staying up all night learning on Shavuos is not a celebration? Maybe have an extra drink! (or coffee.)

I think being where we are, there is always still a big risk for us in falling and yeah, it is scary. I think there are people here you might get some advice from or at least get a chance to see some good examples. For instance, Dov, Bardichev, and Eye. I'm sure there are others as well and you can look around here to find them. Cleareyes...

B'hatzlacha Raba!

Getting psyched for the upcoming celebrations...
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Re: day 84 today!! still feel so vulnerable 13 May 2010 19:41 #65257

  • jewinpain
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Andrew! wow u r heading up all this pain that u feel now is just normal it’s very hard to let go of lust especially if u enjoyed it & was doing it for a long time, i will just share with u my struggle, what keeps me strong is that i can’t afford to go back to the bottom of the 90 day chart , but i still struggle very much to stay clean, i just know that time will heal the wound & make things easier, + i do more holy things such as more learning & exploring hashem in any way i can which helps a lot
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Re: day 84 today!! still feel so vulnerable 13 May 2010 23:47 #65302

  • oneday
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84 days is truly amazing, yasher koach. Just imagaine that the yetzer hara is making his last battle before you reach 90. I haven't yet been to 90, but it must be something good to think about when you see something n the streets. Good luck with your final countdown to 90!
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