Hi everyone, at day 84, very proud of myself, but the last week has been so much harder then the last few weeks.
At the beginning almost fell a few times and it was very hard particularly at weekends/quiet/alone time, but bh over the worst of that, but now i am approaching 90, thought things would be easier, my mindframe would be different, and it is on some ways, but still finding it so hard, see pretty women on the street, i look away but it hurts....cnat really explain.
Once I am at 90, i know there is still a big risk that i can fall and that scares me, does it get easier then this?
I must say, although I have not posted so much I obviously could not have come this far without stumbling upon this web site, posting but more reading has really helped me through various issues.
A massive part of staying clean has been through GTalking with cleareyes613, not sure what his name on here is, i needed to find someone who faces the same issues, but cleaner longer, with the same mentality/outlook as me and cleareyes you have been amazing for me, dont want to sound too much like a women, but cheers to you and all the others, i really value it.
I think its quite significant that i will reach 90 onerev shavuos, although not sure how to celebrate/commemorate?
I need you guys to keep me strong...specially now...summer has always been the worst time for me.....its hot...so are the women (sorry) and beaches involved etc....i hope i can stay strong>
have a good day everyone, tell me it will get easier...............................