I am single and 24 and I cant think of dating cuz I have this issue.

If I only knew what I was getting myself into when I started with that junk so long ago...

Please G-d, I didnt know - I can't have this garbage steal my life away!

Please G-d and all you holy fighters - HELP ME! - I just started my escape and there is NO LOOKING BACK!

CMFS


U came to the right place

Gevaldigggg

Keep on trucking!!

Bards

Dear ClearMindFreeSoul,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community!

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

I joined for the 90 days. And I am getting the E-mails. I put a filter but I kept the password in my E-mail inbox - I am thinking about who I can give it to since I don't wanna ruin my computer (Its expensive - I might be selling it etc.)

I am 5 days clean on my way to freedom

My story is that I was unhappy with my life even before I came here and and I was already going to people for advice etc. I have been in and out of many offices...

I worry a lot and don't have friends that I can open up to about my fears.

Then I bumped into this website and to be honest it got me into depression because it rang true and I realized that along the way I was escaping reality with trash - and I really did sink low

So on top of the issuses and worry I had before, I now have some real issue to face - one which is really something you don't wanna open up about. I was used to going to therapists but now I have to go to one that also deals with this issue

I don't have a job - I quit my last one because of the stress it gave me and cuz it felt like a burden. In general tasks for me feel that way because I lack a lot of joy in my life

So on one hand I don't wanna add a job to my life because I don't want the stress to lead me to acting out.

But I know I have to move on with life too. I am so disgusted by what I was doing and the fact that it can really mess up peoples lives - I don't wanna hear about it anymore - I just never noticed that I was using it as a neagitve outlet

I also know something made me turn to this trash in the first place and I wonder if I could have dealt with that at the time if I didn't get into such neagitve outlets

I guess I am hoping when I break free from this I might have be free from more worry since I have less to hide... And I will be living 1 life not 2

If I do 90 days does that mean I am free? People here keep coming back after that!

So how do you get over it and know your healthy? I can't have this as part of my bagage in life - I had enough before

I want out! All the way out! Please G-d life me up - I know I have ignored you in the past - But there were times when I was younger and pure that I davend so nicely and there were times even after I felt you give me too much to work with and I was upset at you - even then I would pray with a broken heart

Dont ignore me now! It was the life you gave me that made the trash look good - I now realize it's not. But You have to give me something in it's place! If when I was younger the thing that lead me here was that I didn't have a caring shoulder to lean on. Then please give me someone in my life that can make up for that need.

Out with the old in with the new! I am sick of the past! But I  just don't have the "new" to look forward to.

Give me the "new" - give me the pure waters! Shower me with it. Clean and clear my mind heart and soul.

I am dessprate to be free but I need somewhere to go with my freedom.

As I pull my own neagitve unhealhty blanket of comfort off my self - Please give me some positve holy pure loving blanket I can grasp onto.

5 days free! But Where am I headed? I can't just live through escaping - I need to live for more then just running away. Give me something to live for.

Falling is NOT an option. But the life I want back has to be a life worth living a life without worry and a life with people I can love and look up to and a life where I won't even think of using garbage as support for a broken heart.

Take my hand - show me the way.  

12-step program helps!

First of all, Welcome!!

Most of us here feel like we can't open up about these issues to our friends. That's part of why I love this website, and why it's helped me so much.

Certainly, living one life, without feeling like you have to hide part of yourself, is a HUGE help in moving forward and being a happier, healthier, calmer person. However, I'd say that part of being happy, and living life, is having a job that you enjoy, at least on some level - a job that gives you some kind of feeling of satisfaction. You may also find that as you break free of your addiction, and get clean, you can more easily get satisfaction from other areas of your life.

5 days clean is a great start, and I hope you continue - it may be a rocky path, and it might not always go as smoothly as you'd like. But we're here for you, and hashem is proud of the effort you're putting in, and the steps you've taken - never forget that!

There will be times when the going gets rough, and you want your old security blanket - we've all had that feeling. But there will also be a LOT of times when you feel really wonderful about being clean, and you're aware of just how proud hashem is of you.

Please post about how you're feeling, how things are going, etc - jump on board here!