And to follow your advice.
Here's one positive post for today.
It's 4am and I am having a hard time falling back asleep after being woken up by the baby (BH I never hear him cry in the night, of which he does plenty, but I do often wake up from hearing Mrs Chai talking to him or singing him back to sleep. Oh the weirdness of life)
Anyways, as I lay on my bed at this unearthly hour, I cast my mind back to the time of a little over a year ago, where I know exactly what would help me fall back asleep. In fact, many nights it was hard to fall asleep without that stimulation. It chased me most of the day.
BH now I can live without constantly needing to be sucked into that way of life where every day and all day, the lust is insurmountable.
Now, most days I'm calm in this area. I don't need it and it doesn't control me. I'm kosher and clean for over a year.
Shmiras einayim is an issue but P and M aren't. I'm not complacent. I'm filtered and still have work to do, but I'm not drawn to it.
Lust still comes and goes (sometimes I know why, but I don't want to confuse this post with it) but breathing through the tough moments, I know it doesn't last and I'll be ok.
A reminder to newer folks trying to break free. Once you get the monster octopus off your back that used to be glued to you and direct your feelings and actions, it gets way way easier.
Wishing everyone a productive day.
