Hey guys today is day 2 of my journey. Like I said in another post, not just is p and m an aveira but it is actually stopping me from filling my own potential and being happy through the fact it creates this prison for me that I can’t break free 

Im with friends now who are watching a movie that is not 100% clean (women actors not tzniyus) so I have to go to bed early which is a bit socially off but I think that is Hashems will for me right now. If you guys don’t mind, keep pumping the chizuk!!
Thanks for all the support Tazddikim!

Hey guys,

Today is day 3 of being clean. I had to be a bit careful as I was going swimming with friends and we swam quite far out to another mixed beach. It was pretty empty but there was a bit of preitzus there. Bh we left right away. Thank you for the support!

Day 5, Shabbos and BH all is good.
I just need to write this down to refer to it later in more difficult times when they come.
I am so much happier even just these 5 days of being clean. Although I know that 5 days is nothing in the long term and of course my goal is to stay clean forever and only through that will I be able to achieve full happiness, these 5 days have been so much more positive and happy and spiritual. My connection to the RSO is so much stronger and happier when I am clean. Being clean allows me to express my truest and deepest values of dveikus, connection and menuchas hanefesh, compared with the depression, aggression and distance that I feel from the RSO when I fall. Making an effort every day  to post, to keep on reading the chizuk and support from the amazing chevra here is key I think
May we all have a week filled with simcha, menucha and dveikus that allows us all to mamesh feel the ימי חירות of pesach.

Day 8 and BH going strong.
I am just in such a happier and more positive place right now. I know it is very early in the process, but it is so freeing and joyful to be clean. I know there will be much tougher times in the future and of course I am trying to prepare for hard times during the good times like Yosef in Mitzrayim But I am in such a happier place; I am davening and learning so well, having a good bein hazmanim so far. Guys if you ever want some chizuk to stay clean just know that it is the most liberating and joyous existence. You can look up at the sky or at the newly blossoming trees and say thank you Hashem for creating such a beautiful world. 

hishtadlus123 wrote on 01 Apr 2025 23:38:

That's amazing!
Which tools are you using to help you in your journey?

• There are a couple of points. I am trying to remain busy so I am not bored. For me boredom is a death trap. Even though it is bein hazmanim, I try to wake up before 8 to make sure I am not wasting time. I try learn a solid morning seder till 12/1 in the beis medrash so I am out for the whole morning basically.
• Making sure that I am not using my computer for stam entertainment (watching movies etc however appropriate) bc I know that is a dangerous slippery slope. It is a big move but one who is serious about stopping and breaking free from this prison should consider it. 
• Also, it might sound weird but consciously making sure that I am not touching that area in any way. For example, making sure my sefarim or laptop is not lying on my lap which could unwittingly trigger a reaction. ( yeah.... ik it sounds weird right)
• making sure I am interacting on GYE with mentors and people is super important also because I realise I can't fight this battle alone.

Hatzlacha Rabba and stay strong- all of us really want to fight this freedom