funbuchur wrote on 02 Feb 2024 19:00:
short story, yesterday I had a hole in the filter that I couldn’t close I knew it got opened.. long story so I had that rush of energy abt to go and fall and I ran and went to that opening, . . . . I waited, took a deep breath and after that initial insane rush stopped for a second it made room for my rational mind to start explaining why i shouldn’t. So I quickly ran to my filter guy and got it fixed so i couldn’t fall.
today I fell. Not in the way I would’ve fell yesterday because that was blocked bh but it was a fall I dunno why my instincts didn’t help this time but I’m still very proud of what happened yesterday decided to share.
I love this. I love that you were able to overcome that initial urge (which can be harder than chewing through a brick wall) and that despite the fall the next day you didn't negate your victory.
I just wish I knew how the yetzer hara is able to get us like this. We can make it through the toughest times and then the next days, when it's just a regular, easy day we'll fall in the worst ways. I don't get it.