Hey, funbuchur! The first thing the get yourself going each day is what you’re already doing .

The incredible accomplishments of more than two months of hard work are still there. Yes, you still have work to do, but as HHM said, you’re still high on the mountain. Your life is different. You’ve learned that you can live clean and that you want to. That’s tremendous. The fact that you fell does not mean that those facts aren’t true. 

So, the first step is to stay on up on the horse for a good few days, get back into the swing of things.

After that, I think that there would be value in analysing what happened that led to your fall.
How were you feeling that day? what events (external and internal) were taking place that ended up leading to the situation that you found yourself in? There was a slip a few days before. What led to that? 

Honest introspection can lead to the gift of greater understanding of what role this stuff has played in your life. How you have come to use it as an antipode for stress, pain, anxiety or feelings etc. Of you achieve insight, you can use those understandings to fight harder, to change better. 

But for now, you’re a warrior! Here’s a hand and a hug. 

I admire you, 
Chaim Oigen 

Day 3
Going good

Was Stam reading this book by rabbi Abraham Twerski and saw something so profound. 
min short there was a woman who had a surgery because she was in a car crash and the nerves of her right arm were disconnected. A surgery was done to repair the connection. 
The thing is, the surgery was not fool proof there was no sure way to know it worked till it started moving again. One day she was playing cards and smoking with her left hand, as she was moving the cards she dropped the cigarette and it fell on her right hand. She quickly threw down the cards and started jumping for joy! She felt the pain! Now she knew that her arm was feeling again and soon she’ll be healed.

I think this is a very important thing to recognize. That all my urges and thoughts are just signs that I’m doing something right and they are desperately trying to get me to come back. And every time I push it away I become stronger and stronger. 

Day 4
bh going well. On the average day I’m not having urges the whole time. All ready for Nissan hopefully can really be the Chodesh of leaving my Galus. 

Day 5 
checking in

Great to hear 

Hey! How's it going? Everything ok?

Hey! Bh doing good. Sorry for the long break…Haven’t checked in in a while, this pesach break I was coming off a great zman and I figured to keep myself very busy and not let my mind wander and get curious. Bh was a great break without much stale time . Couple days ago had a fall out of the blue was up really late and tired etc. but bh was around a month clean!! Going back to my regular routine soon which I will be able to continue posting. 

Ok here goes. Couple days ago after a successful break and being clean 30 days I fell I thought wasn’t big deal but then I fell again so here I am and going to get back to posting each day and mainly going to stay vigilant and not get complacent. 
DAY 1 back into regular yeshiva routine and back to 30 min working on this/ learning and posting. 

I was thinking I feel like I’ve been focusing on my falls more than my wins. And I should start celebrating wins. Any ideas. 

Day Two

Keep it up

cant go wrong with a l'chayim or two a brisk walk in the park

Any update, Bachur?

personally i never thought of it that way... that is reassuring