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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: New beginnings 350 Views

Re: New beginnings 03 May 2021 19:46 #367881

This might seem harsh, but I gotta say it, I wish I would have realized it years ago, because I made this mistake too:

If you have money for internet, then you probably have money to filter that internet. If you struggle with GYE issues, then a filter isn't optional, it's table stakes for using the internet. You're not going to die, I promise. It'll be inconvenient, but 20 years ago no one had internet, and mortality rates were normal; no one died.

I shouldn't assume anything about anyone's financial situation, but is it really 100% about how much filters cost, not even .01% because of a lack of commitment on your part? Because of an irrational confidence that "this time will be different, I will never act out again, so why would I waste money on a filter"? If you're here, you already know that you need help. Let your filter help you. No filter is 100%, but it can slow you down and possibly interrupt your ritualistic chain of acting out.

You can make filtering that internet fit your budget. Get a less expensive phone or computer. Eat out less. Buy less seforim. Buy less clothes. Cancel your streaming service (if you have one). Don't let money stand in your way.

However, if you need a free filter, has a free tier. Qustodio also might have one, I forget. And please, just get rid of your smartphone.

If you feel the need to spend more than an hour a month here, a filter should be non-negotiable. Good luck with it, chaver!

Re: New beginnings 03 May 2021 19:58 #367883

I hope this wasn't too harsh, I'm writing it as much for myself as for anyone reading it. It just comes down to this for myself: trying harder doesn't work. I need to strategize and fine tune my process. If I didn't have a filter, I would not be sober right now.

If I didn't have all of the other stuff I do then I wouldn't be sober either, but my filter plays a part.

I really like acting out. I love it! But it destroys my life, and I hate myself immediately afterwards. I can't trust myself to not act out when I get triggered. My filter helps me to not act out. Deleting my movies and shows helps me not act out. I'm not good at not acting out, so I need all of the help I can get. If others feel that a filter is optional, then that may be true for them, but it isn't so for me.
Last Edit: 03 May 2021 19:59 by ihadstringsbutnowimfree. Reason: typos

Re: New beginnings 04 May 2021 06:13 #367930

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Can you afford to masturbate constantly to the images that you see on your internet? 
Is insurance "affordable"?
This is not a marketing strategy, but a fact that having unfiltered internet in the home of someone who compulsively views pornography is like an alcoholic sleeping in a bar the whole night. We don't rely on miracles. Could you give the passwords of the devices that have internet away to your wife? That doesn't cost any money and you wouldn't have access anymore

Re: New beginnings 04 May 2021 09:45 #367935

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Choosechayim wrote on 03 May 2021 16:41:
I do not have a filter. I have not found one that is affordable. I would like to get one for my son as well.

Still committed. 

There are people who help guys pay for filters if they see the individual is sincere. PM me if you are interested.
Feel free to contact me at

My threads: Lessons Learned:

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