Sapy wrote on 13 Jan 2021 18:48:
If you cant go for another 24 hours, how about 12?
Listen in sure you dont wanna stay with this for the rest of your life, let me tell you a secret... it wont go away by itself... so it might be hard, but why push it off? Why be a slave for another day?
You can do it for 12 hours, you did it in the past, as the saying goes here, nobody died by not giving in...
Tell that Mr, Urge calmly but strongly, you can talk but I dont havto listen...
Thanks Sapy for your comments.
It's true. I don't want to be a slave for even another second.
But sometimes it's really hard.
Especially when I feel like I have no emotional energy, and I'm barely functioning and this feels like my only escape. It sometimes becomes so hard that I feel like it's too much.
I'm sure everyone here can relate to this feeling where the whole mind and body become focused on this tiny thing called lust and focusing on anything else becomes very hard. It's like being under a spell of sorts. And only once I give in the spell is sort of lifted. But not really, because a few hours later you realize that you drank from the fountain of ... saltwater. Trying to quench the thirst with something that will never do so. So the solution is to starve ourselves to the point that we become immune of the thirst. But for that we need a commitment. And for that we need energy.
But after having so much saltwater in our mouths and being entirely dehydrated, where do we get the energy from? How can we overcome those urges that have haunted us so much in the past?
We can indeed tell them to keep on talking and keep on whispering all those audacities in our ears and we will be stubborn and we won't listen. But can you truly blame the one that takes another sip? Perhaps you can perhaps you can't. I don't know.
All I truly hope for is that I will finally realize, but more than just realize, actually internalize, that continuing to drink from this cursed saltwater will never truly fulfill my desires and in fact only aggravate the situation. And that what initially looked sweet to me, now doesn't tempt me at all.