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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: focusing on today! 233 Views

focusing on today! 23 Apr 2020 12:55 #348682

Hi everyone, this is actually the first time im posting, im bochur in yeshiva, and its the 3rd time im trying 90days, and as you can see in my name im trying to focus on each day and not looking in the future cos then i feel terrible how im not clean for 500 days! Thank g-d i dont have access to porn and have filter but struggle with lustfull thoughts and to look at anything which can fill my emptiness from self critical thoughts which make me feel empty, guilt and insecure from wasting time, not learning enough, lonliness, insults, rejection etc. For me the best help so far has been proccessing my emotions, really understanding that my feelings come from thoughts, not because i feel like this does it mean its true and also understanding that im innately good and dont need performance to decide for me that im good or bad! Another big help was as i said just focusing on today cos if i look into the future how im not clean for while i feel stuck, bad and guilt.  Any other tips will be greatly appreciated, and looking forward to hear how other guys keep climbing! Thanks!

Re: focusing on today! 23 Apr 2020 13:50 #348686

  • anonyjew
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Hey! 

That's awesome that you're on your third round trying to get to 90 days. Your persistence is what will ultimately get you to be the person you want to be. I'm on day 2 of my second attempt at 90 days since joining GYE. 

I'm not sure if this is something that would help you but I found that taking on a personal daily activity (such as learning 2 halachos daily, reading one page of a mussar/chassidus Sefer) really helps to build up your self esteem. As you start adding more and more days you begin to show yourself that over a length of time you can accomplish a lot with very little work and that you have the ability to invest in long-term growth. 

It could be that building yourself up through some kind of personal commitment will build up your confidence and propel you forward into more successes. 

Good luck and keep us posted on your progress!
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