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Bumped my head | Rising again!
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Bumped my head | Rising again! 231 Views

Bumped my head | Rising again! 07 Aug 2019 11:32 #342729

  • Vetaher1
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Hi, I've just bumped my head with a mighty heavy landing after being clean for almost a year. I feel really bad.

A little background: I've been around on GYE for over 2 years now and this is the second time only I gave a bump backwards. I have always shied away from posting, due to my quiet nature, this time I don't have another choice, so here me am, it's my day 1 of being clean!
again!

Re: Bumped my head | Rising again! 07 Aug 2019 12:48 #342732

  • Dave M
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Welcome!  You should be with much hatzlacha. 

Re: Bumped my head | Rising again! 07 Aug 2019 14:33 #342735

Great to hear your pushing your limits and overcoming your shy nature!
Feel free to pm me, I'm a bochur, attend weekly live "SMART recovery" meetings  and been clean BH since 8 Sivan 5779.

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: Bumped my head | Rising again! 07 Aug 2019 20:21 #342739

  • Street
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I find it very interesting that shyness should hold someone back on an anonymous forum. I'm like that too and I was wondering why it should hold me back. It's good to hear that I'm not the only one who's shyness gets irrational

Re: Bumped my head | Rising again! 07 Aug 2019 21:34 #342742

  • ColinColin
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Clean for almost a year is a massive achievement.
well done!

If you had a fall then be honest..where you clean because you really fought your urges, but deep down you knew you really craved  fall?

I used to be like that..set a target then meet it , but after that would fall to "reward" myself!

Far better to tke things day by day and really want to be clean, deep down inside.

Re: Bumped my head | Rising again! 08 Aug 2019 11:43 #342756

  • David26fr
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Sorry about the fall...
But one year is a very big achievment that you will keep forever !

Did you analyze what leads you to the fall ?
And what did you do during this year to work against the problems ? And what needs to be improved now ?

A big mistake I done when I fell after one year clean : I was very very sad, and I put on me big pressure to do it again for one year.... 
Better is to get up from the fall, and continue, with simple and reachable objectives
You fell. It arrives. Perhaps Hachem wants you to improve and to climb a new step...

Re: Bumped my head | Rising again! 08 Aug 2019 20:51 #342762

  • Issac
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You're so brave fro coming back here!
You got this!

I made it to 90 days and then fell. I was miserable.
But B"H I got back up.

Hashem only tests those he loves.

Let my mistakes empower me to succeed instead of pulling me down.

Re: Bumped my head | Rising again! 09 Aug 2019 11:42 #342775

  • Vetaher1
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>Street> Thanks for your sharing, but yes shyness is something that'll bother me even anonymously
Interestingly, looking at the bright side, when it comes to the bad stuff, shyness is a big bonus, which has probably helped me and many in the past not go to far over the dirty cliff.
Last Edit: 09 Aug 2019 11:43 by Vetaher1. Reason: mistake

Re: Bumped my head | Rising again! 09 Aug 2019 11:52 #342776

  • Vetaher1
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Thanks for all your amazing chizzuk.
b"h up to day 2, going strong!
Staying sober when up to first few days for me  is always easier than after a year, when I'd feel over-confident and stop working on myself.

Re: Bumped my head | Rising again! 09 Aug 2019 15:07 #342777

  • Street
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You make a very valid point, now that you pointed it out. My shy nature definitely kept me out of tonz of trouble. I shudder thinking about where I could have ended up if I wouldn't be so shy.                                             

Re: Bumped my head | Rising again! 13 Aug 2019 08:45 #342824

  • Vetaher1
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day 6!
trekking up 
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