Hi, I've just bumped my head with a mighty heavy landing after being clean for almost a year. I feel really bad.

A little background: I've been around on GYE for over 2 years now and this is the second time only I gave a bump backwards. I have always shied away from posting, due to my quiet nature, this time I don't have another choice, so here me am, it's my day 1 of being clean!
again!

Welcome!  You should be with much hatzlacha. 

Great to hear your pushing your limits and overcoming your shy nature!

I find it very interesting that shyness should hold someone back on an anonymous forum. I'm like that too and I was wondering why it should hold me back. It's good to hear that I'm not the only one who's shyness gets irrational

Clean for almost a year is a massive achievement.
well done!

If you had a fall then be honest..where you clean because you really fought your urges, but deep down you knew you really craved  fall?

I used to be like that..set a target then meet it , but after that would fall to "reward" myself!

Far better to tke things day by day and really want to be clean, deep down inside.

Sorry about the fall...
But one year is a very big achievment that you will keep forever !

Did you analyze what leads you to the fall ?
And what did you do during this year to work against the problems ? And what needs to be improved now ?

A big mistake I done when I fell after one year clean : I was very very sad, and I put on me big pressure to do it again for one year.... 
Better is to get up from the fall, and continue, with simple and reachable objectives
You fell. It arrives. Perhaps Hachem wants you to improve and to climb a new step...

You're so brave fro coming back here!
You got this!

I made it to 90 days and then fell. I was miserable.
But B"H I got back up.

Hashem only tests those he loves.

>Street> Thanks for your sharing, but yes shyness is something that'll bother me even anonymously
Interestingly, looking at the bright side, when it comes to the bad stuff, shyness is a big bonus, which has probably helped me and many in the past not go to far over the dirty cliff.

Thanks for all your amazing chizzuk.
b"h up to day 2, going strong!
Staying sober when up to first few days for me  is always easier than after a year, when I'd feel over-confident and stop working on myself.

You make a very valid point, now that you pointed it out. My shy nature definitely kept me out of tonz of trouble. I shudder thinking about where I could have ended up if I wouldn't be so shy.                                             

day 6!
trekking up 

time flies, some days easier then others,  
26 days!