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Postal's Battle Log (Part 2)
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 4461 Views

Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 01 Mar 2009 17:36 #3414

  • PostalServicio
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Hi All,

I'm back after a short, unplanned hiatus.

I'm decided to create a new log since I have a new, stricter "fall standard." When i began this journey, it was appropriate to consider only spilling seed a fall, since I couldn't even go a week at that point without spilling seed.

But now, I know I have the strength to view a fall in the correct way.

Giving in in any kind of way (looking at p*, touching my brit, spilling seed), is going to viewed as a fall.

This is what led to my previous falls. This is really the last of the yh's lies that I have to overcome.

I fell though my blackberry; I know that it having this unfiltered access to the internet is like holding an open bottle of alcohol in front of an alcoholic.

I tried to remove access to the internet from the cell phone plan BUT VERIZON WON'T ALLOW A BLACKBERRY WITHOUT A DATA PLAN.

What am I supposed to do? The phone was a present from my (unreligious) parents. I really don't want to continue paying for the internet on my Blackberry if I'm not going to be using it. I guess, I have to get a new phone.  This is going to be a real sacrifice. I really liked the phone! Anyone have the Jnet filter on their blackberry?

I've completed 8 days so far. I'm excited to see how far I can go now.
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Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 01 Mar 2009 18:17 #3416

  • the.guard
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Jnet has an internet filter for Blackberries. Call them today!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 01 Mar 2009 20:42 #3423

  • ano nymous
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Hey postal,
Keep in touch with me! I think it will make it easier for you if you send me an email every day or two.
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Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 02 Mar 2009 01:13 #3429

  • Binyomin5766
Welcome back, Postal.

Yasher koach on your new stricter standard.  You should know greater success as you strive for ever higher levels of kedushah!
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Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 02 Mar 2009 04:53 #3435

remember every thought you put into fighting the y"h is one step closer to ultimately removing the y"h from our thoughts entirely. keep making those steps that push you to a place you have never been before in  newfound kedusha. may hashem give us all strength to help each other- today be strong.
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Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 02 Mar 2009 06:18 #3438

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Postal, welcome back! It's good to see you started a new blog, and I look forward to reading about your continued success.

Regarding the Blackberry, IMHO, you should either get a filter or get rid of the phone. Yesterday GUE told me about the importance of sacrificing YouTube if it makes me slip, and I guess the same goes with the Blackberry.

Good luck! You know I'm rooting for you!
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Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 09 Mar 2009 01:03 #3640

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15 days completed...and my blackberry is officially GONE!

Its a relief to finally not have the possibility of looking at filth hanging over me. Now, its close to impossible....the way it should be.
Last Edit: by think good.

Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 09 Mar 2009 06:25 #3645

  • Momo
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Kol hakavod! I'm proud of you, and happy to hear that you're count is rising.
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Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 09 Mar 2009 13:44 #3657

  • the.guard
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Postal, it's so good to have you back here and posting! I am starting to feel the light of Purim coming down already. Things are looking up today. Amalek is on his way down!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by jshiker.

Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 14 Mar 2009 20:11 #3767

  • the.guard
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Chart updated at 15 days (March 8th). Today should be already Day 21. Let us know how you're doing Tzadik. You are one of our oldies on this forum, there's no turning back with us
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 15 Mar 2009 15:38 #3780

  • PostalServicio
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21 days complete!

The yh didn't put up a fight this week.

And it's SO great to not have my Blackberry anymore!

But I'm finding hard to regain my footing into this forum. It used to be that I would rush home to check and see if there was anything new in the forum. I was so excited about what we were doing. I don't know why, but I don't feel that same excitement anymore. I'm still focused on this journey, don't get me wrong.

I must be missing something, because I don't think I should be feeling this way.  I desperately want to be an part of this holy forum again.
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Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 15 Mar 2009 16:09 #3781

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With my little expertise in this life (and correct me if I am mistaken) I can say: interests fluctuate, like everything else. I used to be a fanatical chess player, but slowly lost interest, got back to it, then less again... Just like the tide of an ocean. The ocean never vanishes, it just moves. Sometimes closer to one shore, sometimes to the other. Harnessing this incredible force is something we need to learn. Sorry... this just became awfully philosophical  ;D

Anyways, good job with those 21 days! KUTGW!

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Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 17 Mar 2009 00:35 #3815

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Postal, you are an integral part of this forum. Just post when you can, we love to hear from you!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by .

Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 17 Mar 2009 14:45 #3818

  • battleworn
Postal, here's another way to look at it. In the beginning, you badly needed the forum for yourself. So you were drawn to it. Now, B'H, you've reached a much higher level and you don't need the forum like you used to.
BUT WE NEED YOU very much; so now is you're opportunity to do it out of ahavas yisroel - lesheim shomayim!!!
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Re: Postal's Battle Log (Part 2) 17 Mar 2009 23:07 #3826

  • PostalServicio
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Thanks battleworn! That's exactly what was missing in my thinking/attitude towards this forum.

Even though I haven't reached 90 yet, I'm not the same Postal that I was in the beginning....in a good way, of course!

It's time to give, give, and give some more!

I'll keep periodically posting my progress, but i'll try to focus on giving others support and chizuk.

Thanks!
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