Please READ and VOTE on this new poll I just created over here: rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=1427.0

NOYA wrote on 27 Dec 2009 03:36:
NOYA!!!! Thanks for keeping us posted. There are a few of us out here that really like to hear from you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOYA!
I wish there was an icon of cake and candles!

What a beautiful rebirth presnt you have davenned for! May Hashem answer your tefillah and remove the nisayon as only He can. May all future growth be only via smachos and good things!

My wish to you is that you succeed to take out of this struggle what Hashem intended you to, i.e. a much deeper connection with HIM!

Till 120, my friend. Keep on Truckin!

Noya,

Happy Birthday and keep on going.  You can do it.

Holy Toledo,

All those posts, wow, I wasn't expecting such an avalanche from a simple little report. Thank you so much for writing everyone!

Today was somewhat difficult. It's the beginning of a campaign for me, so all beginnings are hard. It certainly didn't help that there was a bris in yeshiva and the wife was REALLY good looking. I realized that I'm not really that big of a creep though. It's true that I looked at her here and there, but I don't think I was really lusting after her, like feeling I wanted to do anything. I looked at her a few times. Not that that's such a great thing either, but I guess it's a lot better than fantasizing about znus with her.

Even just hearing a woman's voice can trigger me. I feel like I'm some unstable isotope, like the slightest thing sends hirhurim into my mind. So I had to deal with some of that today, but I made it through in one piece.

Summary of Day 3: several attacks and temps, defeated them all quickly. A+.

Keep it up NOYA!! BTW, can you please post your opinion on my poll here: rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=1427.0

It's important to me that I get as many responses as possible. Thanks!!

Hey NOYA,

Thanks for describing your day, and sharing with us your courage in not letting stuff get to you!!!

Keep pushing that campaign forward!
Haba

KUTGW!!!  Stay positive and thank you for sharing.  Just remember a little period of time, at a time. 

NOYA my holy holy brother. I love you so much. I have the same problem. Just the voice of a women can trigger me. Till i found this site i thought i was the biggest sicko ever known to mankind. But im learning now. I still have a hard time but im understanding that i can get past it.

I love you too, IT. I wonder if our minds will ever recover from this completely. Anyway, report:

Today was pretty good, at least from a taivah fighting perspective. On Tuesdays we don't have shiur; instead there is an optional chazara shiur given by the top guy in yeshiva. I went, but I was really tired from the night before (studying until 1 AM) so I left in the middle to nap.


I have a little routine going this campaign, that every time I daven shacharis I have a little extended conversation with Mein Tatte. I reaffirm my committment to this campaign every day, and remind myself why I'm doing this and why I don't just give in to the yetzer.

It's all about becoming great. If you masturbate or look at pornography, that reduces your spiritual health. If you're not spiritually healthy, how can you hope to succeed at learning? How can you hope to succeed in davening? Of course you will feel empty and coming up with nothing if you're doing aveiros while in yeshiva. It's only natural that you'll feel that way because a person can't have these opposing forces inside of him going on. If you give in to tumah, you kick out taharah. If you let tahara in your life, you kick out the tumah. If you try having both, you end up contaminating the tahara and becoming all tumahdig.

So if you want to make anything of yourself, this is priority number one - becoming sober. If you want to have a chaishek in learning, or to have a real relationship with G-d, this has got to go. This is your entire life's purpose for crying out loud, becoming as spiritual as you can become and thereby making the world more spiritual as well, and doing these aveiros is the very antithesis of one's mission objective.

Also, it's a terrible feeling being a hypocrite. Living life straight and true feels better ultimately then giving in to a pleasure that seems so amazing before the act, but really it's not, even beshaas maaseh.

Shake yourself off! Seize the day! Cast away this habit and become the masmid and lamdan that you can become!

Day 5 Summary: So far so good. One attack before nap, attack deflected successfully. Keeping very very busy studying for an exam - be sure to not get so into it so you impact learning. Grade: A+

Thanks for the update on your progress.  Keep working hard and inspiring me.  You shall overcome!!!

Brilliant post NOYA im loving it. thanks.

Today was good.

Day 6: No attacks. A+ for keeping busy.

6 days awesome news.  Keep it up.  I am proud of you.