Hey NOYA, shkoyach for admitting and sharing your slips, if you want to even call them that, today.
Sounds like you're taking some good lessons out of the experiences.
Bhatzlacha studying for that test!

NOYA!!! HOW YOU BE!!! BAD BANKER!!! GOOD YOU!!! GOOD LUCK ON TESTS!! ENJOY NO SHIUR, IF YOU ALLOWED!! AND GOOD SEPERATION!!!


have a great shabbos!!!

NOYA!! you are kickin the y"h butt! i'm so proud! KOT!!!

Shabbat Shalom!!

Holding on tight. Shabbos is always difficult for me. I didn't allow things to develop, but the yetzer hara was bothering me a lot all day. He wouldn't shut up. I tried to distract myself a few times by learning, by shmuzzing with other people, and it worked, but lust is on my mind. Is that chizuk chat room up and running yet? Guess I'll have to rely on chizuk through the posting.

I don't like how I'm doing right now. I don't like how super focused I've been on this upcoming test and I honestly cannot wait for it to be over with. It's so much work and it's such a big distraction, which takes me out of the bais when I should be there. Well, at least it's over on Thursday. I really hope I pass so I can put it behind me. Hashem! I want to learn more!

Day 15: Did pretty well today. Lord, get me through this week in one piece!

KUTGW!!  Good luck getting to tomorrow!!

I got to today. I feel restless, irritable, discontent. Wait a minute....

That sounds like trouble. I don't like trouble, but it's brewing. I feel it brewing. Not good.

Get up, get out, do something. Mix things up, hang out with a friend.

Live your life!

Well I saw my first every Super Bowl!!! At least my first one from start to finish. It was a solid game. I looked away for all the pritzus comercials (what's with GoDADDY?) and did pretty well not seeing things and keeping it to pure football. You can't be perfect of course, but I was close. I feel better now, back in control, ironically. I would think the opposite but I needed to expend some energy by yelling like a moron with some friends, and it was the outlet I needed.

Day 16!!!! Did well today!

very happy for you Noya.  It was a great game.  I am a sports nut and it was an awesome game.  16 days is awesome!!

NOYA happy to see your still rollin.

And sci you must really be a sport nut. Good game?? Cmon man!!! I thought i was watching a preseason shoot out. And where was my vintage peyton may i ask. Ok im gonna stop there.

peyton is not a fine wine, like most they turn sour.  football and hockey it25.  do u watch any ice hockey!

I don't know much about football, but to me it appeared that Peyton only screwed up once, with that interception at the end of the game that effectively lost the game for the Colts. He seemed pretty amazing from what I gathered. I guess I should have seen him play during the season.

Anyway, today is okay. I want to let go of taivah, but something about it is latching me. I feel like I have a void in my life without it. As if I'm missing something in my life. I think it's because I'm not learning enough or right because I've been so tarud by this stupid exam that will FREAKING BE GONE AND OVER WITH ON THURSDAY, that I've been not too into learning for a week or two. So I'm lacking a serious connection to Torah this whole time. All I'm doing, and I'm not getting much sipuk, is something [identifying so you're not going to find out - edit].

So basically I'm lacking a real iyun seder and lacking a real bekiyus seder until next Monday or so. I think then things will be better and I won't have this void. All I know is my inner behaima REALLY wants to fill that void with lust and it's difficult to say no.

Day 17: Pretty good. No slips or falls.

The yetzer hora says, "feel empty...you don't know this gemara well, it's not geshmak."

Answer him, yell it," That's right, it's hard, and annoying, and I'm doing it anyway, and that makes me closer to hashem than if it was easy!"

Thanks SB. I had such a random day today. First we had some chazara shiur in the morning.

After that I wasted a good five hours in front of the computer. I really have to go in front of the computer every time with a mission in mind. I wanted to get my accounting homework done, and I did, but what in the world happened with the other three hours? Well, let's see. I started the first two hours I think hocking around with someone, helping him set up a K9 on his laptop. [Mod note: Removed a bit of info to protect my identity (and removed the disparaging comments you mixed in. You're not lazy, so stop dissing yourself! ;) )  I'm paranoid; I know.] Oh well. So that took a while.

Then after my homework was done - I dunno, I was shmuzzing a little in there with someone.

Otherwise, it was a fairly uneventful day. A lot of stuff canceled.

At least my campaign wasn't canceled.

Day 18: Success! Keeping that truck rolling!

Thanks for the help today NOYA! I'm hoping it will make things at least a little bit easier for me. Don't sweat the test too much dude; if the top grade possible is a 10, you'll get a 12 somehow :D