Good luck man on the exams. Keep on trucking!

Thanks everyone!

I finally finished with my exams, whoosh. I know it was alot of work, but in some ways I kinda miss it. It kept me busy, it kept my mind busy.

So what I did was make a list of things I need to do over break. Such things as: clean the car, fix my shoes, etc. So i've been doing that, along with hanging out with friends. if i my mind starts to drift off, i take a look at my list of things to do and do em (or at least think abt doing em).

sounds like a great plan!
kutgw!
and enjoy the break!

struggla21 wrote on 20 Dec 2009 06:39:
You missed the most important thing. POST LIKE A MADMAN!!!!

YOU ARE SOMEBODY SPECIAL!!!

How you doing struggla?

Hey Everyone and IT25 and Momo!

I've been doing well. Been really keeping myself busy!! Im on vacation right now back in New York (mainly Boro Park and sometimes Queens).

I have a question for everyone, I need a reply in the next 5 hours. I am going out tonight for the first time with a very religious girl. I have talked to her on the phone and she told me that she wants someone who learns at least part time, no tv, no movies and no internet. I have grew up with a tv and internet and i dont know if I can give up those things.

I do however see the benefits of giving up those things - less triggers, less slips. But as of now, having filters and keeping busy works for me. I use the internet often enough that I would like to have it around. As for tv, i guess i can do without. As for movies, i would still like to see a movie everyone once in awhile just to unwind.

So what do you think about this? Is it worth it? I really dont know what to do...

I'd say don't do it. You're setting yourself up for failure because you aren't really ready to give all that up, even if you'd "like" to, and even though it is a noble goal. But don't take my advice; I'm a 20 year old who's never gone on a date in his life :D

i think you have to be honest with her.
if it's not where you're holding right now, she DOES have to know that.

or else in 2 years she could be miserable with a life she doesn't want, and you could be miserable with a nagging wife.
if you already have the date scheduled, go, but make your hashkafa clear.

my 2 cents.

I think you need to be honest with her and yourself.  If not, this will turn very bad quickly.

If you like TV or movies or the internet, you have to tell her.  It's up to her how she responds to it.  Good luck with your decision.

Hey struggla. Before you agree to go on a date with anyone, what is important is for YOU to establish what you want in your home.

Basic things you have to work out, questions that are expected for you to be able to answer include whether you'll have internet, tv, etc.

It's a pretty big deal in the shidduch world I hear. There's a laundry list of questions about yourself that you should be able to answer, and you have to think about the questions and look inside yourself as to what you really want out of life and out of daily living. So before I would date anyone I would really work out those details as to what you want and what kind of a girl you want, and what your learning plans are.

I feel it depends whats on your mind for the future. If you feel your not ready to give up movies tv etc etc you have to tell her that. But if you feel that although you had these things in the past, your not intersted in having them in your home then you dont really have to bring it up. forsure not yet. But you gotta be honest with yourself and not allow outside influences eg your shiduch date to infkuence your thinking.

Struggla!
How's NY?!
I didn't get a chance to comment last night and it seems as though you got plenty of good advice.
So, nuuuu, what did you decide in the end?
How was your evening either way?

Struggla please update us when you can. Its killing me inside that i didnt have time when you needed me. Sorry man. :'( :'( :'( :'(

Thank you for all your comments and responds!

Well i did end up going on that date. Afterwards I guess i started to convince myself I can be what she wants to me to be. But slowly I'm starting to realize I think I am wrong. I talked to my Rebbe and he told me straight up that she is not the girl for me. I was very upset at him, but somehow deep inside I knew he is right. I'll have to tell her somehow, building up the courage for that. I hate this part...