This past Shabbat morning I fell.

I was trying to stop myself and i remember thinking that this is not right. But there was a part of me that told me, its okay. Darn y"h!!!

Im in denver for the weekend and I got my own room at the house i'm staying at. I woke up early and I knew shul would not start for a lil while and my friend (who was in a diff room) wasnt gonna get up early. Thoughts came flooding in my head as i laid there. i tried thinking of other things, but eventually i kept going back to the impure thoughts. They werent p*** images, but rather the girls Ive been with before when I was starting to become religous and before I became religous. I knew I shoulda got out of bed! found something else to do. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I let the y"h beat me! I cant let it do that to me anymore!

Thank you for all your support before and now and in the future. I dont think I would have been able to even talk about this fall or anything about this whole issue if it wasnt for all of you. By reading what you have wrote and seeing that there are other people who must face the y"h even much more than me! gives me the strength to express myself.

Lost in the maze
I know it's just a phase
But I dread it dread it dread it
I won't let my life go to waste
I'm a struggla

Hey Struggla. Sorry to hear about your fall. But your reaction speaks volumes. Its obvious your making strides by the way you reacted to the fall. Hey sheva tipol tzaddik vekom. Ask 7up about that shes got what to say. Important not to allow this to get us down but rather build on this expiernce for the future. We all know you can do it, struggla. Keep posting here and letting yourself out. Youll only get love and chizuk. it will help make the strugle a whole lot easier.

Thanks IT25! I am defiantly am gonna take what happened to me to move on, keep on battleing.

Today is Day 3! (of my new count)

I was thinking today, I can print of the chizuk emails and keep them with me over Shabbat, that way when im in bed and i may start to slip, i can just start reading the emails and become more chazak!!

Great idea struggla. Not sure why i never thought of it. I guess smart people think smart things.

I have honestly found a new addiction - this website!! lol
I've been on here for hours and i have to study for exams!

I love the chizuk tho, and thanks for compliment IT25, but i dont think i'm that smart.

Struggla! Yeah, man, getting out of bed in the morning is key. Sometimes I wake up incredibly aroused, and after I go to the bathroom, and my persepctive changes, I forget all about it. That's what you gotta do!

Het struggla , are you telling me im making a mistake ??? I never do that. But anyways join the club of those addicted to gue. I can honestly say that if not for my addiction to this site i would probaly be falling quite often. Besides for all the chizuk, just that im spending my free time on this site and not on other things that bring me to bad stuff, is helping me out a ton. So keep on pedaling struggla. We ayr heya fo ya!!

Tonight I am starting my count from Day 1!

No more falls, no more temptations, this is it!
I'm sick and tired of all this lusting and desires.

I'm stop struggling and start living.

Dayanu! ENOUGH! Today is the day things will change!

Who's with me!?!

What a question Struggla!
You know us better than that by now :o
Perhaps its easier to ask who isn't with you
(although you may not get any replies that way!) :D

Go for it.Hashems been waiting for this call!

I'm with you man!

yo struggla, how ya doin?

why does this always happen to you?

so, sturggle, how you doing?

Shenanigans.

Again.


You do it on purpose, don't you?

someone's playing games with me.
at least i can still delete posts within a topic.

no one's playing games, I just fixed it now...