Like I wrote above:

Thanks guard but being that im in israel i dont think i can join a phone group because i dont think the times will work out. And about going to a therapist your probaly right but i dont think im ready for that just yet. By the way i did go to a therapist once before ( about 2 years ago) and he didnt think my addiction was so bad at the time. I dont think ive gotten worse since then but then again im probaly wrong and just fooling myself. I dint think this would be this hard but i guess if you want something great you gotta really work at it.

Duvid Chaim's group is 12 PM in the U.S, which is 6 PM here (or 7?)... That works.
Also, Boruch's Sunday group is 9 AM U.S - 3 PM here...

And the therapist you saw was probably not trained in addictions. We can help you find an addiction therapist here in Israel.

If there's a will, there's a way. But there has to be a WILL. Don't wait till you "hit bottom".

i live in israel too,and i have an amazing sex addiction therapist.even if you dont think ur addicted,he can help you.if ur interested,i can give u his number

I know what im about to say is going to sound reallt dull but my wife know nothing of my addiction so any phone group really wouldnt work. Also going to a therapist i dont know how ill be able to get that by without her knowing. And im not really ready to tell her everything. Also guard what you write about "will" i most definitly want to stop and im doing things that i think will help like putting a filter on my computer but that doesnt mean that the desire the burning desire   isnt there.

I hear... well, at least read through the tools of the handbooks...

"R Guard" , as i see you go by, your reply doesnt sound too encouraging if i may say so. Im really trying my best and not to fool myself but its hard. I know some might say to go all out ( tell the wife go to the therapist etc etc) but lets not forget there some self esteem here too, if i have any left. And hurting that, might be worse. Do you understand me at all or just think that heres another guy convincing himself that he wants to be better but deep doesnt really. Trust me ive taking some steps in my fight against my addiction that were really embarresing. I now see that the people i spoke to were probaly not well equiped to deal with my problem and if anything this makes it all the more harder to open myself up and do something like that again. I feel what i did in the past was a mistake or better yet mistakesssss and i dont want to burn myself again. Like you can see from m name im trying and thats all i could say for myself is that im trying

R Guard im really sorry if my words came out with any disrespect. I most definitly never meant that they should. Showing any disrespect towards you would go into the geder of "mai ahani li rabanun" and i definitly dont want that. Your work here is probaly more important then what many others are doing out there in the world. I have alot more to say, but miktzas shevacho lefonov :D. But since it does sound like i was disrespectful i would like to take this oppurtunity to ask you mechila b'rabbim. I sorry and ill be more careful for now on as i should be when dealing with tzadikim like you.

Dear brother

My heart goes out for you as I understand your problem sooo well.

I live in Europe so our times are not so far apart, would you like to call me when it's hard?

They say that just talking to an understanding friend could do wonders.

Available for you whenever possible,

Love always

G

I don't find what you wrote disrespectful, and anyway, I am known on this forum to be a big anav so don't worry - I don't get insulted too easily (unless you try and take the anav "title" away from me  >).




If you're trying, that's indeed all Hashem asks from us. He doesn't expect us to be malachim. It's not the success he wants, but the journey to GET THERE that He desires.

In my work though, I have found that often people "think" they are trying, but they are fooling themselves. And even if they are not fooling themselves (as I'm sure in your case), they are often "trying" the wrong things. They are indeed putting in effort - like you, but sometimes in the wrong places and in the wrong ways (and I'm not saying this is the case with you at all, but it could be, that's all I'm saying). That's why I keep stressing that you should read the handbooks. There you will find the tools that really work, and you can make progressive progress, tool by tool, step by step. If the previous tool is not enough, move on to the next tool, and so on...

If you get all the way to tool #13 and you still haven't beat this, then you can no longer afford to say, "I can't go to therapy" and/or "I don't want my wife to find out when I'm on the phone or joining groups", etc... Like Rabbi Twerski always says about this: "If a person has a "spiritual cancer", nothing should stand in his way to get healed".

What can i say i totally agree with everyting you wrote. All the time the thought goes through my mind if im really trying or im fooling myself and trust me its not an easy thought to think. But ill do like you say and check ut the handbook. So give me a few weeks till i get 13 till then goodbye lol ;D

I got the hicc...
Did anyone mention TrYiNg over here??

You should just know that i chose that username before i saw anything on this site. But when i did see yours i knew it was coming it just was a question of how long it was going to take. ;D But i guess it was good to add the 25 so you dont have full rights. Truth be told i chose it because i want you all too know that im trying and thats all i do is try and hopefullt succeed.

i had the same thing with "efshar letakein". made my name b4 i saw his.
so now he's "efshar"
and i'm "letakain"

bardichev66 ? ?