Welcome dear struggling yid. We are ALL struggling yidden, and the more people that join our ranks, the easier it is for ALL of us!

I have fallen just as low (and probably lower) than you have, yet Hashem has allowed me to return to Him. If I can do it, YOU can too! If you need chizuk at any time, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Chazak V'Ematz!

To all who have reached out to me, I thank you for the chizuk that you have provided me.  While I know the writing is important, I felt that it was better for me to have stayed away for a little bit, so that I could share great news.

I am happy to say, that today I have reached another milestone in my growth.  Today is day 11.  I cannot remember ever having lasted that long.  I have dug deep inside, and done what I can at this time to prevent myself from slipping and so far it has worked.  I have searched out for chizuk in any possible way that I could, and have gone so far as to report to the authorities one of the tumadik places that I used to go to.  It has since been shut down, so Baruch Hashem neither I nor anyone else can go there.  This took a tremendous amount of inner strength to do this, but I jumped in, and Baruch Hashem, it was over and done with in a matter of a couple of days.

Today has been a little testing, but I am determined to succeed, and will continue to report to you all how I am doing.

I daven that Hashem will give me the strength today to control my hirhurim and taavos and allow me to serve his will as purely as I can.

Wow! Great job on holding out as well as reporting that! Hah, you just gave your YH a  mighty kick!! KUTGW!

/JG

You are shaking the heavens struggling! Keep posting good news, it gives us all strength!

B'H I had a succesful day 12 today.  Thoughts ran through my head a couple of times today, but I was able to force myself to concentrate on something else, and engage myself in my work. 

Tomorrow is my "Bar Mitzvah".

I will keep you all posted.  It is a chizuk to me to able to hit this number.

13 symbolizes shleimos - wholeness.
Echad = 13.
That's why there are 13 Midos of Rachamim.
The 12 Shevatim + Hashem = 13.

Check this out!
"Timche Zecher Amalek"
Remove Zecher (= 227) from Amalek (= 240) and you are left with ECHAD (= 13)!

"Lo Tishtachaveh Le'El Acher". The Reish in Acher is big in the Sefer Torah.
Amalek = 240 = "El Acher"
At the same time: "Shma Yisrael... Hashem Echad" - The Daled in Echad is big in the Sefer Torah.
The difference between a Daled and a Reish is a "Kotz". But that little "pintalle Yid" makes all the difference.
Amalek is bechinas "Kotz Vedarar" from the curse Hashem gave Adam after he ate from the eitz Hadas.
Remove Kotz (= 196) from the Reish (=200) of El Acher, and you are left with the Daled (=4) of "Hashem Echad"

...Bnei Yissaschar