For those too shy to call my number, here's what my voicemail says
HI! You have reached Eerie. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone and give you a hug, so here's the next best thing. If you would like for me to call you back, it would be my utmost pleasure, so just press 1, and leave your phone number and the best time to send you a hug and I'll do my best to call you back within 10 months.  If you are feeling ignored, please email chaim.oigen@gmail.com so he can commiserate. If you are feeling so ignored that you want to scream, press 2 to be connected to Redfaced. He just loves getting screamed at. Just beware he can scream pretty well, too. If you would like to leave a compliment of some sort, you probably have the wrong number, so just hang up. If this is a real emergency, hang up and dial 800-NEED-HHM. Or keep calling me. Eventually my willpower to ignore you will run  out and I will be forced to answer. If you would like to get a free package of popcorn for the next hocking thread, press 9 to enter the raffle. If you are finding this voicemail helpful to listen to, press 8 to hear it again. Have a wonderful day! And don't forget, KEEP TRUCKING! beep...

eerie wrote on 20 Jan 2025 18:55:

That's better. 

I'll take the popcorn any day...and YKW, I'll add you into the message if you want, like "If you are wondering what that blood is that's dripping down your neck, if you were driving while wearing a hat when it happened, press 5 before you become a zombie. If you already became a zombie, press 6 to reach YKW, who will direct the rest of your life. If you were dancing while this happened, check if Tzitzis Dude is next to you."

I needed these smiles today, agav. 
Thanks, Chevra 

chaimoigen wrote on 20 Jan 2025 19:38:

That exactly what I meant by this.
redfaced wrote on 11 Nov 2024 22:52:

eerie wrote on 20 Jan 2025 18:55:

Halo R' eerie, you forgetting the main ting;

If you very mad that I don't answering and you scary from redfaced screaming on you, so instead you leider fall... press 5 for the address from Babayakob's mikvah, where you can toivel zich in 40 suu fish zaft geshamim for free, and on leil shishi they also giving heise overnight keegil and shmaltzige chulent with huge peices bookkur inside the bor, so you have what to eating when you just veiking zich in the smoking hot fish zaft.