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אוכל מתוך פתולת: Humor thats actually funny
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TOPIC: אוכל מתוך פתולת: Humor thats actually funny 1962 Views

Re: אוכל מתוך פתולת: Humor thats actually funny 22 Jan 2025 06:52 #429804

Norman is 89 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement over 20 years ago. One day he arrives home upset. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight is so bad that once I hit the ball I can't see where the dang thing goes."
His wife sympathises and makes him a hot cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one last try."
"That's a terrible idea" says Norman, "your brother's 102 years old. How could he help?"
"He may be 102 years old", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."
Norman figured he'd give it a try So the next day he heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".
"Where did it go?" says Norman.
"Where did what go? Do I know you?"
Thanks to gye, I turned my life around.
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Re: אוכל מתוך פתולת: Humor thats actually funny 22 Jan 2025 06:54 #429805

Tom: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Jack: What are the two things?
Tom: Your feet.
Thanks to gye, I turned my life around.
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Re: אוכל מתוך פתולת: Humor thats actually funny 22 Jan 2025 06:57 #429806

The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."
The General was very skeptical about this explanation, but at least he was here so he let the G.I. go. Moments later, eight more G.I.s came up to the General panting and he asked them why they were late.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."
The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical, but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too.
A ninth G.I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily. "Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but..."
"Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it broke down."
"No," said the G.I., "there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them."
Thanks to gye, I turned my life around.
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Re: אוכל מתוך פתולת: Humor thats actually funny 22 Jan 2025 07:01 #429807

Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. They had to
use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the
summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek.
One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.
That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after
supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied,"Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?" The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."
The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree."
Thanks to gye, I turned my life around.
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Re: אוכל מתוך פתולת: Humor thats actually funny 22 Jan 2025 07:05 #429808

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man checked his phone and answered, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's MY fault."
Thanks to gye, I turned my life around.
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Trying to get something out of p or m is like trying to find something in this spoiler
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