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The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :)

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Getting out of Isolation and connecting with others is an important part of recovery. This board is for non-addiction related threads, where members exchange jokes, have fun - and drink Lechayim Together!

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TOPIC: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 340736 Views

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 28 Jan 2010 16:09 #49147

kollel guy
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Recently with all the security scares, people are concerned about flying. Although in the event that there actually is a terrorist with a bomb out there, the chances that he will be on your plane is considerably low. About 1:10,000,000
However, for those who this figure is simply not convincing enough, don't walk just yet!
There still is another option to maximize your saftey.
It's actually very simple.
Just bring a bomb on the plane yourself. (And make sure you don't accidentally detonate it).
The chances of two bombs being on one plane are 1:1,000,000,000,000

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Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 29 Jan 2010 00:40 #49359

imtrying25
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Rage ATM wrote on 29 Jan 2010 00:24:

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, this addiction, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Oh i thought all the pakistanis are computer engineers. Hmmmmmmm. Maybe thats why they need a trcuk driver.

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Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 29 Jan 2010 02:38 #49430

silentbattle Current streak: 1628 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3734 Karma: 15	Oh, man... :
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Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 29 Jan 2010 08:11 #49473

Avreich OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 237 Karma: 0	ovadia wrote on 28 Jan 2010 15:02: I don't know if this is in the Ruach of this thread, (it was sent to me, and I am not sure whether it is a joke or for real) but I thought that I would post it anyway. HOW TO STAY SAFE IN THE WORLD TODAY Ahah! I just copied this and will use it on some other forum .... or whenever I have a chance!
	Last Edit: 29 Jan 2010 08:14 by .

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 29 Jan 2010 09:07 #49477

imtrying25 Current streak: 16 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3010 Karma: 2	Rage ATM wrote on 29 Jan 2010 01:54: its because theyre recruiting suicide bombers....i guess that joke just bombed! Cmon bro dont take me for the oldie my avatar shows. I got the joke as soon as i read it. was trying to play along. :-\ :-\ :-\
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Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 29 Jan 2010 15:32 #49587

kedusha
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Rage ATM wrote on 29 Jan 2010 14:58:

This joke is dedicated to 7up, who i understand is gonna turn 84 years old next week!

"The local news station was interviewing an 84-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 84 and then about her new husband's occupation. 'He's a funeral director.' she answered.

"'Interesting,' the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.

"After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she first married a banker when she was in her early 20s, then a circus ringmaster when she was in her 40s, later a preacher when in her 60s, and now in her 80s a funeral director.

"The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

"'Easy, son,' she smiled. 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go!'"

Not 84, Rage - 48!!! >

(Sorry, 7Up, if I'm overstating it by a few years!).

I've heard that very clever joke before, but the Chazarah was well worth it! :D

Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!

Last Edit: 29 Jan 2010 15:34 by .

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 30 Jan 2010 20:40 #49664

imtrying25 Current streak: 16 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3010 Karma: 2	thanks rage! I really liked the second one. Not because it was addressed to me. It really says alot. if you know what i mean! It also reminds me of soem films. Into C.E.? Acting?
	Last Edit: by .

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 31 Jan 2010 07:25 #49813

silentbattle Current streak: 1628 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3734 Karma: 15	By the way, IT, every time I see your signature, the first thing that pops into my head is "Who's chuck? And where is he walking?"
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Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 31 Jan 2010 21:13 #49954

Dov OFFLINE Administrator Posts: 1960 Karma: 383	Very funny Rage, or OLO, or LLO, or is itLLO? Whatever! Funny. Oh, and happy birthday, 7-Up! You know, one good thing about getteing old: When you are old, it's easier to laugh at...what was I saying?
	"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same." Last Edit: by .

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 31 Jan 2010 21:41 #49959

imtrying25 Current streak: 16 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3010 Karma: 2	silentbattle wrote on 31 Jan 2010 07:25: By the way, IT, every time I see your signature, the first thing that pops into my head is "Who's chuck? And where is he walking?" Chuck is the guy in the pic and notice hes taking a rest from all the walking!
	Last Edit: by .

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 01 Feb 2010 02:36 #50054

silentbattle Current streak: 1628 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3734 Karma: 15	Or is it "chuck" (the verb) the walker? Cuz i tried that today, and after he picked himself off, he was running! Good thing I can run faster...
	Last Edit: by .

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 01 Feb 2010 23:30 #50362

Dov OFFLINE Administrator Posts: 1960 Karma: 383	Hilarious, hilarious, etc.!
	"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same." Last Edit: by .

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 02 Feb 2010 05:25 #50440

shemirateinayim Current streak: 2 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 746 Karma: 0	WOW now that's kibud eim!!! to whatever extent it applies to one's grandmother escapes me at the moment. BUT WOW what a chessed!!! cool
	Last Edit: by .

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 02 Feb 2010 12:03 #50499

imtrying25 Current streak: 16 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3010 Karma: 2	Rage im gonna rely on all above that tour post was funny. Did not have the time to read it all. Was busy trying to make sure i wouldnt be late for the lchaim!!
	Last Edit: by .

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 03 Feb 2010 08:03 #50822

shemirateinayim
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The following conversation actualy happened on the GYE forum:

Which filter do you use?

I use a revolutionary "bionic filter" called 'Eyelids'. After many years of painstaking research, the most gifted minds of our generation have found a way to filter the content veiwed by our eyes (the most sensitive organ of our body). Teams of researchers have descovered that by training the human eyelid to close, one can effectively block-out all unwanted content. Coupled with such exersices known as squinting, and peripheral vision, mankind has found a way to bridge the gap between internet content filters, and real life sight.

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