dov wrote on 13 Dec 2009 22:35:


Im feeling so much better now that I see Im not alone!
:-[

silentbattle wrote on 10 Dec 2009 14:41:


It's the number of posts.
The next level is Hero, which you get after 500 posts, so get moving!  ;D

Rage ATM wrote on 14 Dec 2009 15:09:

YOU SELF HATING JEW RAGESTER!!!!!!!!!  > >;D ;D ;D

He doesn't hate anyone. He just wants to have an excuse for totally ignoring the "seatbelt" light thingie himself. He loves everyone....even authority figures.

Disclaimer: The posts submitted herein are not intended to provide psychiatric diagnoses, moral judgements, nor character impugniations.
Those who misinterpret them in such a fashion demonstrate their insanity, evil nature, and general chessiness.

;D

Happy Chanuka (we are warming up for Purim, right?)

hey i haven't been over here in a while . is this where you guys hang out? do i have to say something funny to be here? cuz if i do then .. well, i will then .. 
  ???
          i'm wearing socks that don't match .....one isn't mine .... no wait... one doesn't  have a hole ...uhm...  no...one says pull string in case of emergency  ....
ok i'd like to see all you guys come up with something decent w/out friend google huhh! that's right i dare you all to do some original  comedy relief impromptu ! adlibbed ! and otherwise unprepared ! now that would be funny !
no pressure.                   

  (wimps!)

Momo wrote on 14 Dec 2009 15:21:


I was tempted to answer this in a bunch of posts, one word each, but then I decided that even as a joke, that wouldn't be fair. Hopefully, I'll get there soon, the real way!

how do the stars work?

this is too cute!!

lchiam

http://www.collive.com/show_news.rtx?id=6725

Sorry Bardy. K9 doesnt like what your offering. Too bad on me. But like ive said so many times before its worth it,

from col live


What is thought to be the world's first ever 'whisky menorah' was unveiled Sunday at Buckhurst Hill Chabad in England.
Local London

What is thought to be the world's first ever 'whisky menorah,' built by Desmond Solomon, was unveiled Sunday to mark the Jewish festival of lights.

Dozens of people turned out at Buckhurst Hill Chabad, in Princes Road, to see the seven-foot-high ceremonial candle holder - made of clear pipes - filled with 65 litres of 17-year-old Scottish single malt in celebration of Chanukah.

Whisky from the menorah was then poured from a tap in the structure's stem and auctioned off in bottles by Rabbi Odom Brandman to raise money for a new centre for the area's Jewish community.

Rabbi Brandman - who had earlier led the lighting of a publically displayed menorah in nearby Queen's Road - thanked distillary firm Tullibardine for donating the whisky.

He said: "We like to celebrate Chanukah a little differently, and had a menorah made of old cans last year, and out of chocolate the year before.

"This year we decided to go for the world's first whisky menorah.

"We knew we needed a lot of whisky, so we contacted distillers Tullibardine who very kindly offered to donate 65 litres for our menorah.

"The whisky itself is really nice. It's smooth, mellow and has a slightly fruity flavour.

"I have been on a tour of the distillery and the management there have been so helpful, accommodating and as excited as us about making this Menorah really special."

Chanukah is an eight-day holiday commemorating the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem.

Rabbi Brandman's cousin, PC Jonathan Brandman - who was one of the officers on duty at the event - was asked to light one of the candles on the Queen's Road menorah.

He said: "I wasn't expecting to be asked to be honest.

"It is good to see so many people here enjoying themselves."
 

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.
He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York
and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Houston , TX .
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.

The deputy says, "License and registration, please."

"What for?" says the lawyer.

The deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Then the lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

"You still didn't come to a complete stop," says the deputy. "License and registration, please."


The lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

"The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law.
License and registration, please!" the Deputy repeats.

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop,
I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket.
If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

"That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir," the deputy says.
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts
beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says,
"Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?"

Look out when rage sees this one. Knockin a lawyer hey thats a no no.

IN PRISON
you spend the majority of your time in an 8'X10' cell .

AT WORK
you spend most of your time in a 6'X8' cubicle ..

IN PRISON
you get three meals a day (free).

AT WORK
you only get a break for one meal and probably have to pay for it yourself .

IN PRISON
you get time off for good behavior..

AT WORK
you get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.


IN PRISON 
a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you ..

AT WORK
you must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself .

IN PRISON
you can watch TV and play games.

AT WORK
you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON
they allow your family and friends to visit.

AT WORK
you can not even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON
all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all.

AT WORK
You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners..

Humm?

Which Sounds Better?

So what are you waiting for.........


Kill your Boss

TO ALL MY DEMOCRATIC FRIENDS:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an
environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive,
gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within
the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or
secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice
religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally
successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of
the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due
respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to
society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is
necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the
Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race,
creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of
the wish.

To My Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in the year of 2010.


    Thank you,

i liked the lawyer one .

but at work you get to go home................................ . there's nothing like having a home to go to.

lamed vavnik wrote on 18 Dec 2009 12:49:
I guess for some thats depressing too. :-\ Hope not.