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The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :)

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Getting out of Isolation and connecting with others is an important part of recovery. This board is for non-addiction related threads, where members exchange jokes, have fun - and drink Lechayim Together!

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TOPIC: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 349113 Views

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 31 Jan 2018 19:25 #326248

ieeyc OFFLINE Banned Soaring to Har Sinai on the wings of an eagle! Posts: 572 Karma: -9	he wrecked his car,he lost his job, and yet throughout his life, he took his troubles like a man, Warning: Spoiler! he blamed them on his wife! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- there is something wrong about the guy who is always right
	*לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח* *נכון חדש בקרבי* to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring . humility ,i humbly thank you

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 01 Feb 2018 05:41 #326273

ieeyc
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MY DR.
He once gave a patient 6 months to live.At the end of the 6 months,the patient hadnt paid his bill so my Dr. gave him another 6 months to live.
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the nurse came into the office and said,dr.there is a man here who thinks he is invisible,the dr. said ,tell him i cant see him.
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one time apatient told my dr. i have a serious memory problem,the dr. asked when did it start?the man replied ,"when did what start?'
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i once told my dr. that i have a ringing in my ear.advised my dr."dont answer it"
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my dr. can be so frustrating.you wait a month and a half for an appointment,then he says "i wish you had come to me sooner"
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my dr. is so nice.once when i couldnt afford an operation,he touched up the x-rays

לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Last Edit: 01 Feb 2018 06:10 by ieeyc.

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 01 Feb 2018 06:05 #326276

ieeyc
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Posts: 572
Karma: -9

husband:i`ve been thinking it over,and ive decided to agree with you.
wife:that wont do you any good,ive changed my mind.
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i havent spoken to my wife in years.i didnt want to interrupt her.

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a worker shows up late for work ,yells the boss at him",you should have been here 8:30!"asks the worker ,why ?what happened at 8:30?

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my therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what i start.so far,ive finished 2 bags of m&ms and a chocolate cake.i feel better already.
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inside me there is a thin person struggling to get out,but i can usually sedate him with 4 or 5 cupcakes

לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Last Edit: 01 Feb 2018 10:46 by ieeyc.

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 01 Feb 2018 13:19 #326285

ieeyc
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Posts: 572
Karma: -9

right now ,im having amnesia and deja vu at the same time, i think i`ve forgotten this before

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a cement mixer collided with a prison van on the highway ,motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals

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a wife was viewing the new neighbor from across the street,look at her hanging her laundry, she told her husband,those clothing are filthy, who taught her to wash clothing?this went on day after day. one day the wife looks out and says,"she finally got it right , what changed?"the husband answered ,"i got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

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money isnt everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch!

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money cant buy happiness ,it only helps you afford to search for it in more places

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לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 01 Feb 2018 16:37 #326288

ieeyc
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Posts: 572
Karma: -9

you wouldnt worry about what people think if you knew how seldom they do
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misers are difficult to live with ,but they make great ancestors
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a man was standing next to a grave with the most beautiful and exotic flowers ,he turned around and gave a sigh and said,"now thats called living!"-Rabbi Elchanan Hartzman ZTL
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לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Last Edit: 04 Feb 2018 06:56 by ieeyc.

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 01 Feb 2018 17:00 #326289

ieeyc
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Posts: 572
Karma: -9

One day,a father of a very wealthy family took his child on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing how poor people live.They spent a couple of days on a farm of what he considered a very poor family.

On the return trip ,the father asked,"Did you see how poor people live?""Oh yeah "said the son. "So what did you learn from this trip"asked the Dad.The child answered,"I saw that we have one dog and they have four.We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our yard,and they have a creek that has no end.We have electric lamps for our garden, they have the stars at night.Our patio reaches to the front yard,and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on,and they have fields that stretch beyond our sight.We buy our food, they grow theirs.We have walls around our property to protect us,and they have friends to protect them."
The father was speechless. The child added ,"Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 01 Feb 2018 17:46 #326290

ieeyc
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Soaring to Har Sinai on the wings of an eagle!
Posts: 572
Karma: -9

You see Doctor, I have metal fillings in my teeth,my refrigerator magnets keep pulling me into the kitchen.Thats why i cant lose weight!!
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borrow money from pessimists

Warning: Spoiler!

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ive been dieting for 2 weeks now, and all i lost was 14 days
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לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 02 Feb 2018 14:13 #326356

ieeyc
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Posts: 572
Karma: -9

if a penny knew its worth ,it would feel like two cents.
==================================================================== never argue with a fool ,people might not know the difference.
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speak while youre angry and youll make the best speech youll ever regret
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HENDERSON PRINTERS 1803
LITCHFIELD
CONNECTICUT

GENTLEMAN:

I HAVE A IDER FIR A BUK THAT SHOOD SELL A LOTT
AND MAK US ALL A PILE .I WULDE CAL IT A DIKSHUNARRY. IT WUD BE A GRATE
ADISHUN TO THE AVERIG LIBBERY.
YURS TRULY,
NOAH WEBSTER
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לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 02 Feb 2018 20:54 #326369

ieeyc
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Soaring to Har Sinai on the wings of an eagle!
Posts: 572
Karma: -9

in an office: would the person who took the stepladder yesterday,please bring it back or further steps will be taken

in an office: after tea break ,staff should empty the teapot and stand upsidedown on the draining board

outside a secondhand shop: we exchange anything-bicycles,washing machines,etc,.why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

notice in a healthfood shop window:closed due to illness

לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Last Edit: 07 Feb 2018 17:00 by ieeyc.

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 04 Feb 2018 06:13 #326393

ieeyc
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Posts: 572
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spotted in a safari park:elephants please stay in your car.

seen during a conference:for anyone who has little children and doesnt know it,there is a day care center on the 1st floor.

notice in a farmers field:the farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free,but the bull charges.
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wife:what are you planning to do today?
husband:nothing.
wife:you did that for the last week.
husband: but im not finished yet.
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dad:son,what do you want for your birthday present?
son:not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.
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when i cross a one way road ,i still look both ways just in case there are any women driving.
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someone knocked on my door saying he was collecting for a mikva....so i gave him 2 cups of water and a bar of soap.
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nothing is impossible ,the word itself says im possible!

לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 04 Feb 2018 06:24 #326395

ieeyc OFFLINE Banned Soaring to Har Sinai on the wings of an eagle! Posts: 572 Karma: -9	Warning: Spoiler! BOOOOOM!!!! "i was so depressed the other night thinking about wars, jobs , my bank account,etc....i called the suicide hotline.i got a call center in pakistan,and when i told them that i was suicidal they got all excited and asked me if i could drive a truck...."
	*לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח* *נכון חדש בקרבי* to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring . humility ,i humbly thank you Last Edit: 06 Feb 2018 16:03 by ieeyc.

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 04 Feb 2018 06:50 #326396

ieeyc
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Posts: 572
Karma: -9

if its true that we are here to help others ,then what exactly are the others here for?
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what hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?
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why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds when they already know that your broke?
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bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
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i filled out the application that said ,"who should we contact in case of an emergency?"i wrote "doctor"....whats my mother going to do?
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smile!!!

Warning: Spoiler!

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a bidebee , a bidebee , a bidebee,

Warning: Spoiler!

לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 04 Feb 2018 21:28 #326429

ieeyc
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Posts: 572
Karma: -9

a guy from aa who was trying to kick the habit of drinking for many weeks. one day he wanted to see if he was cured , so he walked into a bar and ordered a scotch on rye,the waiter comes and places the drink in front of him , he looks at his watch ,1 minute passed ,5 minutes 10 ! a half hour passes by and he happily smiles and says ,"im free ,i kicked the habit ,i have self control ! then he said proudly " now this calls for a drink!" and down the hatch it went....
Rabbi Shmuel Mordechai Grossman ztl

לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Last Edit: 05 Feb 2018 16:04 by ieeyc.

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 06 Feb 2018 08:05 #326508

ieeyc OFFLINE Banned Soaring to Har Sinai on the wings of an eagle! Posts: 572 Karma: -9	unfortunately this mashal can be applied to sa, ive been clean for so long," this calls for a lust "-Hashem should give us ALL chizuk to climb out of the pit of lust ,brush ourselves off and keep on trucking!
	*לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח* *נכון חדש בקרבי* to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring . humility ,i humbly thank you Last Edit: 06 Feb 2018 08:10 by ieeyc.

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 07 Feb 2018 03:19 #326582

ieeyc OFFLINE Banned Soaring to Har Sinai on the wings of an eagle! Posts: 572 Karma: -9	"Wake up, son. Its time to go to school.""But why mama?i dont want to go to school." "Give me two reasons why you dont want to go to school" "One ,all the children hate me.Two all the teachers hate me.""Oh! Thats no reason!Come on , you have to go to school!""Give me two reasons why I should go to school?" "One, you are fifty-two years old.Two, you are the principal!"
	*לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח* *נכון חדש בקרבי* to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring . humility ,i humbly thank you Last Edit: 20 Feb 2018 17:09 by ieeyc.