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90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul!
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TOPIC: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 3626 Views

90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 26 May 2009 15:18 #5312

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I was thinking that anyone who starts immediately working on themselves, one day at a time, will have (almost) 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul.  What a wonderful way to enter the period of preparation for the Yamim Noraim.  By Yom Kippur, they will have close to 130 days.  With that much progress, plus the Teshuva and spiritual cleansing of Yom Kippur, think what a wonderful Sukkos you will have!  All it takes is starting now, Davening for Siyata d'Shimaya, and working to stay clean, one day at a time.
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by gyejewish.

Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 26 May 2009 16:23 #5313

  • bardichev
dear kedusha it can be done I am proof that it can be done. I know I am not there yet but I will  be going into Shavuos
Be"H Bli ayin Horah at 70 days clean . Ireally cant beleive it but it is  work work work .

thanks for the idea it is fantastic!

h&h
bardichev
Last Edit: by Praising Hashem.

Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 26 May 2009 18:21 #5318

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Thank you very much for the kind response, Bardichev.  I do know that it can be done, because I have done it before.  By treating this as an addiction, and taking it one day at a time, I hope to be successful this time, b'Ezras Hashem.

R. Guard, I put up a GUE flyer in my Shul this afternoon (no one was around), and also in another very popular Shul in town (hardly anyone was around, and I tried to be discreet).  I hope the flyers stay up, and that they help many people!

One question: the flyer refers only to Guardyoureyes.com, whereas the more comprehensive site appears to be Guardyoureyes.org.  Have you considered phasing out Guardyoureyes.com, and having it redirect to Guardyoureyes.org?
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by savemysoul.

Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 26 May 2009 20:21 #5325

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Tizke Lemitzvos! You will have a big Zechus if anyone is helped through the fliers you put up!

Yes, the fliers are a bit old, but guardureyes.com is STILL the main site. I haven't "officially" launched guardyoureyes.org - if you go there now you'll see it is being worked on (there are two menu bars at the top)... It is still not ready, but yes, once it is launched, hopefully in a few weeks, we will slowly phase out the old site...

Yasher Koach Gadol!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by nomoremeaningless.

Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 26 May 2009 20:25 #5326

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Thanks - I hope that many people who are crying for help discover that it is only a click away!


Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by .

Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 26 May 2009 20:26 #5327

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I also wanted to mention that, on my way to work today, I took a refreshing dip in the Mikvah.  I can't do it every day, but when I'm able to, I feel wonderful.
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by Calvinklien.

Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 26 May 2009 21:49 #5343

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Mikva is an excellent Eitza! See tip #8 on this page, and read the linked articles...

There's a well known segulah from Tzadikim, that if one is careful to immerse in a Mikva after every time he has zera (even with his wife), then he will find it much easier to guard his Yetzer hara...
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by בידו אפקיד רוחי.

Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 26 May 2009 21:54 #5344

  • bardichev
I was reading in a sefer that it is a big Inyan to go to MIKVA every day of shlosha yimei hagbala

h&h
b
Last Edit: by mbbm101.

Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 27 May 2009 16:23 #5385

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As I noted in a separate post, I went to Mikvah again this morning, which, b'Ezras Hashem, is day #9!

With regard to the flyers that I put up yesterday, I davened in one of the Shuls this morning (the one that has numerous Minyanim every day).  Before davening, the flyer was still up, but by the time davening was over, it had been taken down.  I think it's likely that the Rav removed the sign (or even if someone else did, I assume they would have consulted with the Rav).  I wrote an anonymous letter to the Rav, which I plan to mail today.  Below is the letter (slightly edited, to remove any identifying information):

May 27, 2009

4 Sivan, 5769

Dear Rav ******, Shlita,

I put up the enclosed flyer on [the Shul] bulletin board on Tuesday afternoon, May 26, 2009.  By Wednesday morning, May 27, it had been removed.

As the Rav is surely aware, addiction to the Internet, especially (but not limited to) Internet pornography, is a very serious problem in the Frum world today.  It affects not only the modern orthodox, but people who are considered to be Bnei Torah as well.  It is unknown how many Bnei Torah are leading double lives and crying out for help, with nowhere to turn.  Imagine the pain of a Frum, Heimishe father, attending his child’s Siddur party.  It should be a moment of great Nachas.  Instead, the father is ridden with guilt because of where he was on the Internet the previous night. 

For some people, the answer is to have no Internet in the home (however, as the Internet becomes more and more essential, it is becoming increasingly difficult to suggest this as a long-term solution for Klal Yisrael).  For those who need it, however, there must be another solution.  My solution, in part, has been to install an Internet filter to which only my wife knows the password (furthermore, in case the password is lost, it will be sent to my wife’s e-mail account, to which I have no access).  In addition, I realize that this is an addiction and has to be treated as such.  As with any addiction, I have no control over yesterday or tomorrow, but I can work on being clean today, with the Ribbono Shel Olam’s help.  I have been clean in the past, once for as long as 18 months, but I always fell eventually.  But now, for the first time, I have somewhere to turn for help.

The website www.guardureyes.com (which is in the process of being upgraded to www.guardyoureyes.org) has countless resources for battling this addiction.  It is a life preserver for those who are drowning in a sea of Tumah.  If the Rav is the one who took down the sign, I beg him to reconsider.  Countless people pass through [your Shul], especially during the week.  If only one Neshama is saved, it would have been worthwhile for the sign to be posted.  I, therefore, humbly request that the Rav consider posting the enclosed sign, or at least refrain from removing it the next time it gets posted.

In the merit of helping those who are trying to sanctify themselves, may the Ribbono Shel Olam grant our Kehila and Klal Yisrael Bracha v’Hatzlacha, and protect us from all harm.

Respectfully,

*******

P.S. Please excuse me for writing this letter anonymously, but I think the Rav will understand why I did so.  Also, if I am wrong, and it was not the Rav who removed the sign, please forgive me for assuming that he did. 
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
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Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 27 May 2009 18:31 #5398

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I mailed the letter in time for today's pickup.  IY"H, it should arrive tomorrow.
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by Gigglypuff.

Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 27 May 2009 18:40 #5400

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What a BEAUTIFUL letter!

May Hashem bless you with much Hatzalcha in this tremendous Zechus!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 27 May 2009 20:32 #5413

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That letter was beautiful, clear, and concise. I may steal it at some point if I need a letter like that...

Last Edit: 20 Jul 2009 05:38 by Jo29.

Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 27 May 2009 20:43 #5416

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Thank you very much R. Guard and Ano Nymous for the kind words.  I'm glad I wrote the letter, even though it was time consuming (especially as I double and triple checked that there was no way I could be identified.  Come to think of it, I probably should have omitted the return address ;D).  Whether or not the flyer goes back up, I believe the Rav, who I respect no end, will find the letter educational and enlightening.

And yes, of course, Ano Nymous (and anyone else) may use the letter as a framework for writing a similar letter (or "steal it," in the words of Ano Nymous) should the need arise.
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by Jang.

Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 28 May 2009 08:04 #5438

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I was a bit taken aback by the statement "It affects not only the modern orthodox, but people who are considered to be Bnei Torah as well". Why assume that modern orthodox are not considered Bnei Torah?
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Re: 90 days by Rosh Chodesh Elul! 28 May 2009 13:32 #5444

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moti wrote on 28 May 2009 08:04:

I was a bit taken aback by the statement "It affects not only the modern orthodox, but people who are considered to be Bnei Torah as well". Why assume that modern orthodox are not considered Bnei Torah?


This is unfortunately an assumption that is made by most (if not all) of the black hat community (of course this can only be based on people I have seen). Modern Orthodox cannot be Bnei Torah according to these people. Personally, I don't think this is true, even though many Modern Orthodox people are NOT Bnei Torah. But then again, many "Bnei Torah" are NOT Bnei Torah. It all comes down to the issue of externals which is eating away at what people view as "Judaism". In these times, many people are comfortable making a complete character judgment of a person based on a 2 second glance at what he is wearing or other externals. Ironically, it is the people on this site, no matter what their mode of dress is, who can attest to the baseless nature of that character judgment (I'm sure many people on this site are considered model "Bnei Torah", while behaving in ways lower than an animal).
Last Edit: by Jenus20.
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