Chevra, just a short post b4 i go to the SA meeting and then home to bentch licht. starting over today. hope to have a boost from ymei
Chanukka! May Hashem have rachmanus on all of us and free us from the slavery to the Y.H.

Baruch Hashem bli eyan haroh day #2. off line until Monday.
hoping all of the chevra will have a sober and lichtig Shabbos Chanukka.
your loving borther,YH
thanks guys for the chizuk.see it is finally paying off.

B.H. bli eyan harah still sober.
btw i was overcome with emotion when bentching licht on Wed night.  (sober since Erev Chanukkah) ...... my family had no clue what the emotion was about,but u guys konw  i was overjoyed to be sober.
was feeling a little agitated on Wed and it helped to write down my feelings. Thurs night i was feeling pretty upset about things including being late paying bills and feeling overwhelmed with our money situation. Friday morning i did see in a sefer how Mikva helps when in tzar and actually felt better after toiveling.
May we all be zoche to nissim this Chanukkah.

This realization is one of the 'lights' of Chanukah!

Yosef,thank for the post. U mean the chidush of the Mikva being an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety? Freilinen Zos Chanuka!
Ribono Shel Olem, thank u for keeping me sober, plz let it continue.

just checking. BH i took advantage of the last day of Chanukka for extra davening including the tefiloh found in the Yesod Ha Tshuva,saying Parshas HaMon,and Igeres Ha Ramban, (segulos for yeshuos). then i had the strength to  made a phone call to reach out for help with my overwhelming unpaid bills (very big source of stress for me). Now i feel a little more hopeful that we can move forward. what i realized was part of the pain i was feeling was due to self-pity any have to log off and go home.

hi buddy, i relate very much to ur financial stress, i too am in debt for a long time & i know how u feel, but here is what helped me, i came to realize that by acting out there is no way hashem will bail me out, how in the world do i expect him to help me when every time i act out, i actually say good bye to him, also 1 very smart mkubal told me, that מז"ל & מזל are linked to each other, & i also learned to belive that financial situation can change (as history showed) very quickly for the better, & our addiction can only change for the worse if we dont nip it in the bud, so start working on urself plz get a sponsor , u will see how thigns change i cant beg u enough, plz give it a try

Dear JIP,
Thanks for you post. i hear you loud & clear! i too felt very quilty about asking Hashem for help when i am acting out. B.H. still clean. Comforting to hear that matzvim can change!

O.K. Chevra. Just checking in had 14 days clear,B.H. don't know what happened,started out seaching triggering topic on-line and ended up falling. (it prevented me from going to the SA meeting i had planned to attend.) B.H. yesteday was a bit better but ended up again looking a some p*. I am grateful that i was able b'chasdei Hashem to tear myself away from the computer and go to the the last few minutes of the SA meeting . although i missed hearing  the speaker (Hennoch T.),i did get to meet him.
Anyway,hope everyone has a great Shabbos.

just checking in. sorry for not posting.
was off-line aslo fell a few times. last time was last night with p* ending up with m*
went to therapy and to a meeting. B.H. feeling stronger.
getting sick and tired of acting out. not sure if i should go to the SA meeting now or go home.

Don't give up!
you are tzellem elokim- no matter what you did
or when you fell!
yerida l'tzorech aliya!
you will make it just don't give up!

Dear gevurah ,
thanks for your words of chizuk. last night was B.H. much better. Did not make it to the SA meeting,but stayed sober despite so "drama" on the home front which was partly caused by my self-centeredness. 

just to get current. i am sick and tired of falling with p* & m*.
i have decided that i want to be sober especially as we enter the chodeshim of Adar & Nisan. so today is day one. Please Hashem have rachmonis on me and all of the GYE chevra and our families.Please guide us to recovery.

:)BH bli eyan harah still clean. Wishiing all of the chevra a good Chodesh and a great Shabbos. May we all be healed from this dreadful disease,hear bsuros tovos and be zoche to mekabel pnai Moshiach!

hi there y,
read your thread, keep it up, people like you show people like me what it means to grow and succeed
-tz90