u really r gevaldig!!! thanks for sharing some of ur secrets. i did read an eitza in one of the Steipler's letters to daven for protection from the y.h. at the end of Shmoneh esrei b4 the last y'hi ratzon imrei pi....
he does not give a nusach,but i did also  find a tefiloh from the sefer Kav Ha Yashar who give this eitza for those going out of the beis medresh "Ribono She Olom Chunsha Nah Lmalteini M'Yetzer Harah v' kol kat delay,amein."  approx translation:Master of the Universe, please have pity and spare me from yetzer harah and his associates.
just an insight in why helping others is good 4 recovery.
we need to break out of our selfcenteredness and selfishness.
btw after i acted out last night,i did do the dishes.

I like ur honesty, yes doing the dishes is another example of being selfish, just feeds the addiction so we feel good, u see hon, I even did the dishes, BTDT my friend, btw next time doing the dishes b4 acting out is a very good start for the acting out, if u have the right thoughts when doing the dishes, just 1 common thought would be, am I really doing her a favor by doing the dishes or its a zchus that u have that u r able to help ur loving wife, u know just a little mind work can go a long way
KOT

CHEVRA, SORRY TO LET U DOWN,BUT DESPISTE ALL OR UR KIND ,GENTLE WORDS OF CHIZUK FELL LAST NIGHT. WAS CLEAN  IN THE DAY UNTIL LATE AFTERNOON. NOT DOING WELL. DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. HOPE TO GO AT LEAST TO ONE SA MEETING TOMORROW BLI NEDER BEZRAS HASHEM ,HOPEFULLY ON TIME.  :-[

Yedida, u know what the rebba always says on that, right?
So don't look back now its gone with the wind, move on, don't think about it just start out slowly and remember to reach out as soon as the urges build up b4 u getting ready to act on it, we need u clean, ur wife & kids need u clean, hashem needs u clean , and UUU need urself clean to start shining
Keep moving

Yedidya,

I wanted to make a suggestion that seems to be working for me. Post every night to tell us how you stayed clean that day and how good it feels. Sometimes, when we don't post, we forget how good it feels to be clean and how badly we really want to stay clean. Plus, it feels really really good to share positive news with the GYE community. You will see. It will feel so good and so liberating that you will not even want to act out anymore - because then you won't have good news to share with us.

I don't want to see posts about "falling" or "slipping" or "m***B" or "p**" or ... i think you get the picture.

I want to hear about the smiling Yedidyah who loves life, torah and HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Post when you are being THAT Yedidyah. That is the one I want to get to know.

Could it be you never really got up from your previous fall(s)?  If that's true, falls are inevitable, and they're not really falls, because you're still in the mud.

Kedusha,u got it!!! i am in the mud and having a very difficult time getting up and moving on. i am mamash like a prisoner. planned to go to an SA meeting tonight,but was chapped by the Y.H. and chained to the computer. i am off line until Friday am. what can i say? :-[

There was once a Kollel fellow who learned with hasmada, and whose wife was moser nefesh for him to continue learning.  One day, he felt that he could use a break, and mentioned that to his wife.  His wife thought about it for a minute, and responded: "Your learning means everything to me.  I take on countless responsibilities, so as not to waste a minute of time that you can devote to learning.  My plan is to do my best to allow you to stay in learning for as long as possible.  However, if you were to waste an entire day, I might reconsider whether my mesiras nefesh really makes sense.  So, take your pick - whatever you do today is likely to be what you'll be doing for the long term."

The husband thought for a moment, and realized that it didn't make much sense to possibly lose the opportunity to learn full time for years, just to take one day off.  Sheepishly, he picked up his Gemara and went straight to the bais midrash.

When the y"h claims that he wants us to fall "just once," what he really wants is for us to get into a rut that we cannot get out of.  Each time he presents us with temptation, we need to realize that what we do just this once might, c"v, be what we continue doing for the next 50 years, while living in utter misery.  However, if we refrain just today, we can start "detoxing" and getting the garbage out of our system, which will give us a realistic potential to stay clean for the long term and live a meaningful life.

Good chizuk, Kedusha!

just checking in. B.H. went to SA meeting last night. BH,bli eyan hara still sober since Sunday morning when i was overtaken by the YH causing me to m* after three days of no p*& no m*. was still thinking of the disgusting p* which i saw earlier that week

ok chevra,B.H. made it through one week clean (no p* ,no m*)
ok well Sunday morning ended up m* so i guess today is day 1.

try journaling - see if you notice any patterns of where and when you are getting triggered.

THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK. JUST CHECKING IN.
YES,ONE BIG TRIGGER FOR ME IS BOREDOM!
CHERVRA, HAVE A GREAT SHABBOS

How r u my dear friend, boredom was already approved by chazal as a big trigger for all the bed, so plz fill this void with something positive, let it be torah, or work, or helping ur wife, or even going out with friends to chill a bit, have a happy week keep strong and let us know if a trigger shows up, so we can come knock him down

just checking in. JIP thanks for the words of wisdom.
was Sober from last Thursday to Sunday night. was tempted to m* during the day on Sunday. did reach out to call some guys from SA and was able to push off the acting out to  later that night. (believe or not after coming home from a shiur.) Maybe just the force of habbit. maybe just needed to relax?