Hey guys so i am 19 and a sex addict  :-[ the other day i committed to stopping my porn addiction and masturbation addiction but im really afraid this it's gonna get really hard and i don't really have very many people to talk to and don't know how im gonna be able to do this on my own if there is anyone i could talk to either online or phone that would be amazing

thanks
Imuststop

hi mustop,

welcome to this great place. everyone here is struggling and helping each other in their struggle. you can find people facing the same issues as you are and people who have overcome them to the extent possible.

bear in mind that it will take a lot more than a commitment to stop a bad habit that has become an addiction and do not expect to be able to stop just on the strength of your commitment alone. read the GYE Handbooks, linked on the homepage. read up on the forum, there are many seasoned warriors there. Install a filter on your PC. talking to someone is a great tool as well. this addiction thrives on darkness and secrecy. so you came to the right place. keep reading and posting.

hatzlocha
zs

hey thanks so much for responding it really means a lot to me that people really care on this website wow so another thing im trying to go cold turkey just quit for good is that safe i mean can one develop premature ejaculation from masturbating 3 times a day to just stopping for good this may sound like silly question but im nervous

i am not an authority on the matters you are asking about but from reading here on GYE it seems safe to say that there shouldn't be any negative consequences to stopping. if you want you can do a search for keywords and it will bring up more results pertinent to your question.
zs

thanks for everything

here is the official welcome package

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information…

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week… This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc… So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not…

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook

This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude

The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

May Hashem be with you!

muststop wrote on 20 Oct 2010 15:25:


there r lots of expert on this site who can comment!!! including one with medical expetise!!
my question is just the opposite,i grew up masturbating almost daily. When l i became frum at about age 21 and went to yeshiva and learned that it was asur,i stoped with no problem. A few years later when i got married i suffered from premature ej* . I wonder if there is any connection?

Hello Muststop and welcome. You will find a lot of support here to help you stop cold turkey. Feel free to PM or Googlechat me anytime.  Hatzlacha.

welcome! youre only 3 years older than me.
youre in the right place to be!
idk if it is possible to just go cold turkey in the addiction, im not saying its immposible, but it would take TONS of effort for a true addict (or at least for me) each day is a new day with new challenges.
hatzlacha
we look forward to hearning more from you!

first of all "UR-A-jew" thanks that really means a lot to me i need someone to talk to right esp over the next few weeks which im guessing will be the hardest

second of all yedidya im guessing there is a connection but im also guessing that it went away after a week or so but whatever it is i would take a few weeks of pe over masturbating 10 more years any day

and finally hashems solder what a great name lol thanks man so yes im gonna try cold turkey it's gonna be hard a heck but it will be worth it in the end i appreciate ur support feel message me anytime

hey buddy how r u doing today. hope some of your questions were answered. Also,hope someone can hook u up with a SA meeting in ur area. (if u are open to the idea)
meantime i am sure u will find it comforting to have the support of the chevra.

but i just want you to know. if chas veshalom cold turkey doesnt work so well, DONT get depressed. depression is the same thing as saying "i want to go have a fall" this is a very hard battle and there is no room for any depression, not even a little.
hatlacha
keep in touch!

Hi muststop,

I'm also new here and as you, I need to talk to someone.
So, you can count on me. Maybe we could help one another.

hi Muststop, I'd suggest you ask Bruit.  You'll find his thread on the Breaking Free and 90-log forum.  I believe he's a doctor. 

As to stopping cold turkey:  I know Bardichev did and he's a year and a half clean.  I did also and I'm about five months with one fall without masturbation.  I haven't noticed any problems but I don't have sex with anyone so I couldn't tell you about the premature ejaculation. 

But Briut would be the man to ask.

Much success.  Stay in touch.  read, post, get a filter, whatever you need, reach out for it.  Your sobriety matters to us (in case you hadn't noticed)

o.k. remember,it is progress not perfection. Hatzlacha on your new day count.
any ideas what triggers your urge to m*?
btw this is the link to the SA white book. take a look at the definition of sobriety on pg. 91
www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/White%20Book.pdf