Chazak chazak vnitchazeik (tough to write loshon hakodesh in english!)
your story is a chizuk for me and all others who have fallen in this aveirah
may hashem strenghthen you in your avodah tova-
your nissyon should on the levels of higher kedushah
and be able to win the yetzer of hrhurim and histaklus
Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 18 Feb 2010 17:44:
Rabbeinu Yonah explains this posuk, (as heard from Rabbi Mattisyahu Salamon Shlit"a) that hashem leads people who were nichshal in a chet on the proper way, ze hu mah sheshalech nevi'im to teach us the proper way.
BORUCH HASHEM! We were zoche to be directed to this eida kedosha, a truly holy gathering of people who are Hashem's ONLY freinds in this lowly world. [i]Bemokom shebalei teshuva omdim ein tzadikim gemurim yecholim la'amod![/i]] We may not be like the tzadikim of previos generations, but in the dark, dirty, dingy, discusting, and degrading society we were put into, {in his infinite wisdom... we belive we are lucky to be in this generation, otherwise we wouldn't be here! HE doesn't make any mistakes!} we can accomplish even more than the amolige tzadikim did! WE CAN BRING THE GEULA! After all, a small 4 watt nightlite bulb will make all the difference whether you bump into the walls or not in if you put it in a room which is otherwise in total darkness; whereas a million candlepower searchlight does little good when used in bright daylight. As CHAZA"L say: Shraga betihara mai ahanye.
This forum is for personal intoductions, well... an "anonymous introduction" is quite a difficult feat to pull off. Just kidding, I understand the purpose, to start our connection with others and give/get chizuk.
This writer has been looking at re'ios assuros even before he knew that he shouldn't be looking at them. He was doing the ma'aseh before he knew that it is an aveira, r"l. At 14 I happened to see the last chapters in the Sefer Kitzur Shulchan Oruch and discovered the rotzon Hashem (after double checking with my Rebbe that I understood what I read. I am married now with a few children, Boruch Hashem, and have been struggling with the yetzer horah since then.
Since I do consider myself somewhat of an oved hashem, after all I am jewish too, the last couple of months I generally managed to withhold from looking at the worst, but I did indulge in looking, searching, and staring at pics which my filter did let through as they are not classified as dirt in the lowest sense of the word, but were enough to be meorer the ta'avos in my heart. They were against the rotzon Hashem. The proof is that yetzer horah was pushing me to do it,and even more so, the results of these pics were often tumah ma'asim.
Brov rachamov vechasodov, I was zoche to be directed to this great and holy site by a Rabbi who knows about my struggles (I am forever indebted to him for this refferral!) and with much siyata dishmaya and the chizuk I recived from this site, I was zoche to have a highler level of shmiras einayim for the last 29 days that I haven't had since before I was a Bar Mitzvah!
Yasher Ko'ach to all the good jews who set up this site, to all those that post on this site, to all those that help fund this site, and to all those dear friends of Hakodosh Boruch Hu who value true kosher SIGHT!!!