Hello everybody. Ive had a masturbating problem since a very young age. The longest i ever went was 55 days(with out..).i got married 6 months ago, and i hadnt ma----ed since than. The other week i felt my self falling. And just now, for the first time in a half a year, i couldnt control my taivos, and looked at p--n, and broke my 6 month streak by falling. Im so sad because i feel like a failure!I told myself after i got married it would never happen, and it did! My yetzer hora is telling me im not attracted to my wife anymore..shes pregnant...im lost!and i keep trying t download k9, and it doesnt work!is there anyone i can call to help me install k9 and give me chizuk!MY BROTHERS AT GYE, I DONT WANT TO GO BACK TO BEING THE PIG I USED TO BE!!PLEASE,PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!

Dear Little boy,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

We all thought marriage would solve the problem, but it doesn't. As Rabbi Twerski once told someone on our network: "Marriage is not a hospital and does not cure addiction, and continuation of the addiction is likely to ruin a marriage." You are fortunate for having found us and here you will be"h find help to let go of "lusting".

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

See this page for info on K9, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

little boy wrote on 07 Feb 2010 22:25:


I can try and help you install K9. How would you like to do that? Do you have gmail?

LB,

what a pure and honest cry.
piercing...
welcome to the forum and keep posting for more chizuk.
we hear you and we're with you.
from what you said,
you are already aware and able to distinguish the YH's voice,
keep that up and tell him no!
i think the "i'm lost" is his voice as well...
after all, you're here on GYE, lost?!
i don't think so!

with love,

Sturggle

Well... as you will read here that 6 months is a very impressive start at conquering a very difficult problem...

So what worked over the past 6 months ?  The installation of filters is a very promising start.

mekubal.

After reading your post i only have one reaction. YOUR NOT A LITTLE BOY BUT RATHER A BIG MAN!! Only big men can get the courage to send a shout out like that for help.

Welcome my holy brother. Youve come to the right place. Stay with us and youll get lots of chizuk and ideas on how to get past this ugly monster!

Hatzlacha.

Sometimes we feel like children - but face reality - you're a holy warrior, joining the fight against one of the most dangerous yetzer horas that exist.

Coming to this forum helped me tremendously, figuring out where my dangers were, how to avoid them, etc. I was able to talk out my issues without fear of being judged.

If you know it's the yetzer hora's voice, that's a huge victory for you already! laugh at him, and go do something nice for your wife! ;D

Hi, and welcome aboard. I'm guessing you've looked through the handbooks, postings, etc.  I'm also guessing you have some thoughts on which things "speak" to you, which things "confuse" you, and which things simply "don't speak to you" (...yet).

It would give me a better feel for what you're looking to accomplish, get chizuk over, etc if you could share a little bit about the speak/confuse/etc factor.  In other words, what are you hoping to ask about, or just get started with, in jumping into the forum.

I'm sure there are lots of folks here ready to give you support & information, and could do even more once they know a little more about where you're coming from.  That would include me.  Looking forward to it.

Little Boy!!

Hi I'm bards

If you meet me it will be ok

But.. But.. Ill be on your case

Let's take it apart

You went six months

That is super-duper-fantastic-terrific
And
GEVaLDIGGGG

Now u can surely go six months again

So where is the war?

The sick rotten decrepit dirt bag
YH says its all lost

Laaugh in his rotten face

Say liar liar pacifier

Watch his makeup peel and his plastic mustache fall off

Yeah he comes in an array of costumes

He dresses up like a fun freind, a mashgiach, a depresser

Fuggedabouthim

KEEP ON trucking!!
B

Reb LB how you be?? Hope your doing good. many holy brothers waiting here to help ya out!!

With love,

IT25

HOLY BIG MAN- I Will tell you a secret, DO NOT EVER CALL YOURSELF NAMES AGAIN!!!! This is one of the YH Best tricks. IF yourself names he wont half the battle. KEEP ON TRUCKING!!

Reb little boy, aifo atah??

We miss you! :-\ :-\

Falling is an opportunity to learn
Use it
And never give up
The important thing is progression
As long as you progress
You are healing