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Re: shalom aleichem! 07 Feb 2010 12:57 #51674

  • briut
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Return2Hashem wrote on 07 Feb 2010 03:28:
I have two gay friends, who after years of struggling against these taivas, found a loving embrace within the gay community that told 'em "this is you you are", encouraged them to proudly accept this as their identity and that this is something to be celebrated. They are now active in a mishkav-zachar lifestyle, with no busha.


Ouch, R2H. You've just hit a raw nerve. Your feelings are beautiful, but they also point toward one common attitude (not yours necessarily) that simply sets me off in ways I can't share in other areas where my SSA is closeted away:

I don't think your story shows your friends' weakness or denial of Hashem. I think it speaks more loudly about a narrow-minded community that makes your (fellow-Jew-) friends feel unwanted on many levels. They didn't walk away, they were kicked out!! By the same community that probably doesn't mind members whose business offers a "no sales tax discount" for cash so the owners can cheat on their income taxes. (And perhaps even use those savings as their maaser.) (I'd give a hundred other examples of aveiros more easily tolerated in the frum world than being gay, including other issues discussed on this very site, but you get my point.)

I'm not taking the (extreme) position that SSA is genetically programmed and unchangeable, but I'm also doubting one common view that it's as simple as choosing between chocolate and vanilla (tutti frutti would be the obvious pun here, but I won't). I wonder what they might have felt brave enough to do, if they had felt loved enough to stay.

Thank you. "Sharing" has made my raw nerve feel much better....
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Re: shalom aleichem! 07 Feb 2010 13:50 #51678

  • the.guard
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Rav Feldman, who gave our site a warm Haskama, wrote once a beautiful letter to a gay Bal Teshuvah. You can see it over here.

Now that is the attitude all Frum Yidden should have towards people with gay tendencies!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: shalom aleichem! 07 Feb 2010 21:50 #51777

  • briut
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Thanks. Appreciate it.  And now, I officially request an end to my hijacking and back to our original story, still in progress .  Apologies for the hijack.
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