Hi there all my anonymous friends!
I am on here for a while, most of the time just to sign in and update where I'm holding, but from time to time I do read around some posts on the forums, and I am really at a loss of words when I try to describe what I think about all of you. I'm simply awed into silence. You guys are all amazing, fighting the terrible urges, sometimes in such difficult circumstances, from complicated pasts, I stand humbled. I am so proud to at least be part of the same nation, even if I don't come close. Keep up the fight and may Hashem be with all  of you and may you feel his closeness.



But another reason I write this is because I look at what other people have written here, and I realize how small I am. I, the guy who sits up front at dinners, the guy whom you may have even heard at a dinner or some other place, I look at you in awe. Because I am not torn to shreds like some of you are, I have a happy marriage, and so many of you are working so hard to just keep the pieces in place. You are brutally honest with yourselves, and in spite of being in places I have only read about, doing things out there....in spite of that you are here, trying mightily to get only closer to Hashem, to be good, to be clean. I also struggle, but nowhere nearly as much as most of the people here. And I wish I could shake your hand and tell you how proud I am of you. I am so proud, and I know that I can't imagine how proud Hashem is. Keep it up!!! In this world I'm at the head table at the dinner, but believe me, at the se'udas livyason you guys will be up there, I hope I'll at least be in the crowd!

Nov 24 is a birthday of sorts... I can't believe how much my life changed!