tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 29 Aug 2024 22:17:

I think for a lot of or even of most people here ADHD is the story of our life, I don't mean to invalidate you, me or anyone else here with ADHD, but you have to learn how to live regular life, despite the impulsivity and constant ups and downs,  I don't know how much more we struggle with desire then a guy "without ADHD"  ( although I'm open to feedback)


My point is I don't know if the solution here is to classify it as "what should I do with this struggle as a human with ADHD" because this is the struggle of every male in life.
You have strengths and weaknesses like everyone else. I think one can talk about his struggle about ADHD and it's real but I don't think making a thread as if this is almost a different level struggle is true
(This may be my inner critic and years of invalidation of my struggle to focus in yeshiva-keeping the trauma going, I'm totally open to what you guys think)

Much love



Smoking hot passion to fight the struggles in life!

smokey wrote on 21 Aug 2024 03:25:

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 28 Aug 2024 03:52:

Did you try amudim or refuah. Maybe they can refer you yo a good Dr. 

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 30 Aug 2024 08:33:

A good therapist could help with adhd

smokey wrote on 30 Aug 2024 04:44:

ADHD is real and can be addressed with proper support. 

Looks like we started a thread on ADHD on smokey's thread.
Because smokey mentioned that he has ADHD, and I said that I also do, and everyone had to comment on it.
Hey, donuts, anyone?

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 01 Sep 2024 16:28:

lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@tzaddikvikam13 you are so right, and i love how you responded to my post about putting down ADHD, with a earlier post by me quoting my struggle with it

I agree ADHD is real, i guess after years of people telling me "everyone has ADHD" "how do you know you have this if your so capable" and "how come no-one ever realized this" (i got helped for the first time at age 20-21) subconsciously i started to believe it, even though i did so much work to fully accept myself with my full limitations and imperfections, im having this crazy chop right now, i would never tell someone i "suffer" from ADHD the same way i would talk about diabetes, its almost as if i believe with ADHD you can just "get over it" or "just try a little harder" it obviously stems from a deep insecurity and its also probably connected to my struggle with people pleasing, because i don't want top feel like i'm more special then anyone else, regardless its incredible awareness and data for me. I appreciate you bringing this up and the support from everyone who commented!!

looking forward to living life more honest, authentic, real and in touch with myself, 

smokeyyyyyyyyyyyy

im posting here for accountability, im feeling really vulnerable now, im dying to talk to girls or at least watch porn. Remember S.T.A.R.

Stop. Take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself what do i really want to do. and Respond in a honest way to your urges and question

I can totally relate to such feelings! Maybe call a friend either gye related or a friend you haven't spoken to in a while and catch up. Wish you tons of luck, and very brave of you to post this and not just fall!

smokey wrote on 01 Sep 2024 20:35:

Urge got downgraded from a 7 to a 2,
the dopamine rises super fast and tries to block your prefrontal cortex, harnessing the power of your emotions and desires to make you think this is what you really want, but alas I have gye to help me connect to my true deepest desires and take back control ( think Calvin and Hobbs comic/drama) What do I really want? What type of marriage do I want to create? But type of father do i want to be to my children bezh?

 It's okay to have uncomfortable emotions, just try to fully feel then without judging yourself, ask yourself, what do I need to give myself right now, that's behind this urge.
It's crazy how much emotional awareness our urges and triggers can give us if we truly tap into them

GYE-helping me connect to the real me, while overcoming the challenges of desire -Yes Sireeee!!

I appreciate the support from everyone! 


I'm going to make it through this, and so will you!
In this journey TOGETHER!


Smokey

smokey, are you here?

Yes

Im honestly pretty frustrated, I'm going back to Israel for elul, I had a stopover overnight in Athens, I was pretty much by myself, I had a massive desire to go to a club, I walked around....went to a bar, didn't go to a club ( I wasn't ready to spend any money so I wasn't that scared) but when I got a back I basically watched porn (basically means watching movies and skipping straight to the romance scenes)
After 11 days of incredibly emotional awareness I fell,
I guess that's life you win some you lose some, although it wasn't really by chance I was alone and vulnerable, I texted a friend who didn't respond right away but I should have posted publicly on the forum, good data for next time.....

I'm going to try really hard to not let this bring me down and to continue fighting strong!!


Love u all


Smokey 

keep fighting and don't give up!

Honestly I'm pretty darn frustrated. I came back to Israel after leaving for almost a year to shteig, before I start working (where once I start I won't be able to just pack off for a month like this) I want to learn and grow to the next level and tap into my potential and connect with a good environment.
I Know it's only my first day here but I feel like what on earth am I doing here, Im so not motivated to learn and tap in, making food for my gluten free diet is so hard (especially with ADHD and procrastination) and I want to flirt with every single pretty girl i see (for those of you that don't know Jerusalem is filled with the finest of them)I'm dying to call the hotline now and talk to a girl, I feel so lonely and vulnerable I'm craving connection, I feel lost in the sauce and zero motivation to give my soul the energy and consistency it's craving.


Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself after being here for less then 36 hours and having a 36 hour journey to get here but I want to feel some love, I don't know how to give it to myself

Struggling Together is better then alone so here I am




Signing off-Struggling with difficult emotions that hopefully one day will come together and make me the beautiful person I want to be (or I have to recognize I am in myself)

Striving to shteig smokey