wow! thanks 
you guys are making me think like never before...
​i guess that i will need to make a serious change in my way of thinking!
thanks again:mendy200 

mendy200 wrote on 29 Jun 2020 12:16:

I think that it is accepted by all that Hashem does not want us to commit aveiros. Masturbation (falling) is an aveira. Therefore, Hashem does not want us to masturbate (fall). Does that help? 

hmmm..... i am not totally sure in what you are saying, because if its true that hashem does not want i should fall, then if i fell i did something that hashem didn't want that it should happen, so you are saying that i could do things even if hashem does not want, and i always new that nothing in the world could happen if hashem does not want it should happen!
but thanks anyways for taking your time and answering (it makes me think twice before i fall!)
thanks!

Perhaps tell us more about your struggle and what have you been doing. Do you have a filter? What tools do you use? (Webchaver, phone chat, forums, etc). What are your triggers? How do you fall? In my opinion, mussar alone is worthless, especially if you're an addict. If you are an addict I highly recommend 12 steps. A good starting point is Dov's shiurim, just click on the 12-step program link in the bar at the very bottom of the page.

mendy200 wrote on 30 Jun 2020 12:22:

Then how does evil happen in the world? Hashem wills it of course, but only in the sense that there should be free will and teshuva. Otherwise if evil were impossible to be accomplished there would be no free will at all. Be careful with that logic. One can be mechalel Shabbes and one could argue G-d willed it because otherwise it wouldn't happen or any other issur for that matter. But then again, certainly that's not G-d's true will. You could say it's a chitzonius will, that you should see you did something wrong and do teshuva perhaps. That being said, try to think more of acting out as a disease rather than a sin. Otherwise the guilt tripping will just make you act out more.

@ snowflakes good point, " try to think more of acting out as a disease rather than a sin."

i like it that mindset... it makes us take on more responsibility , same idea is also when our physical health is at stake we do anything possible... we will go on the most strict diet when needed... we will quarantine for months... no one would say that i will just go outside during corona and if i die then it was hashems will...

somehow when its the spiritual health at stake we say raise hands and say hashem wants me to sin with proof , because you see... it happened ... and nothing happens in this world if he doesn't want... get the point?

Some people are prone to crushing themselves over their mistakes. They are paralyzed with guilt, even after they have regretted their choices and changed their ways. Such people must be even more cautious about being damaged by willpower. They might even need to leave this subject for a later time when they are stronger. Of course, if the person needs to limit his exposure to these ideas, that doesn’t mean he should forget about improving; rather, he should focus on growing, and primarily use positive messages and techniques to reach his goals.

I completely understand where you are coming from. I struggle with masturbation as well and the struggle is real. Let's get through this together. 

I everyone, I hope everyone is having an easier time them me beginning their journey. I am having a hard time breaking the tend of falling and do not know what to do. Please if anyone has any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it. P.S. I have a filter and have done I think everthing in my power on a practical level to stop. 

hi gang! i am up to my third clean day i am really excited!!!
thanks for the support!!!
mendy200

mendy200 wrote on 01 Jul 2020 03:08:

Nice job brother! KUTGW

truegrowth wrote on 30 Jun 2020 20:46:

Welcome truegrowth. I highly recommend you open up a thread at either the 90 days forum or break free or introduce yourself and expound upon your situation. What are your main struggles, triggers, how long have you been trying to stop, etc. That way we will be able to help you out better. Remember you're not alone. All of us felt at some point that we've tried everything and haven't and won't ever succeed. That is all but a fallacy. Many have come from very bad situations and are sober for years. So don't worry about it, tell us more about you and we will gladly help you.

and mendy200 way to go!!