HakolMilimala wrote on 04 Feb 2018 04:14:

Internal- Inside you there are 
Family- Many different emotions, wants and need that all need to be given attention
Systems- However, sometimes different parts of us get covered over due to pain with an escape or other firefighters.

this is done by reaching out to a person higher self, looking from a place of comfort one can asses, and acknowledge appropriately. Hence his 'need' to act out is diminished considerably, he can manage his life pain by free.

Redeemed @ 21 wrote on 04 Feb 2018 02:02:

hi 
how is ifs working for you i read his book it sounds like fascinating stuff just a little complex

I am not a native Yerushalmi, I grew up in the US. I needed a pseudonym when I joined, and that is the first thing that popped into mind. I wouldn't mind sharing some personal stories, but as you can see by the date of my reply, I don't have the time to monitor the forum. AT best I can check in once or twice a week.

HakolMilimala wrote on 30 Jan 2018 13:28:

Unquestionably!

במקום שבעלי תשובה עומדים, אין צדיקים גמורים יכולים לעמוד
I hope I have the words right. It means that you are a fighter who isn't afraid or embarrassed to admit that sometimes the fight is too hard, and to get help. It means that if your future wife is struggling with a personal issue, you will be able to help her. 
These days, so many people are in therapy for one thing or another, there is a chance that your future wife will also have been seeing someone for something. I did, and my wife was also in therapy. When we found out (before we got married) that each one was going for help. it brought us much closer.
It means that should your wife fail a big nisayon in whatever area, you will remember your own experience, and encourage her.
It means that you are honest. You honestly state a challenge that you had, and you were honest in your assessment of yourself to know what needed to be done to win. 

Hey friends,
had a crazy busy week and weekend which I find to usually be helpful in not wanting to act out.
after shabbos was over and things calmed down, I was in a place where I had access to a bunch on unfiltered devices. I was using them, we were watching some kosher material - sports and whatnot, but just using the unfiltered device for even kosher things started giving me the urge.

Holding a device which is the access to my drug is like standing in front of a door to an unlocked room where my desires can be fulfilled on the other side. Its scary that it’s like that. But I think that’s how it’s going to be for the rest of my life. If I’m using an unfiltered device even for a few minutes, and even if I’m doing so well in so many areas, my mind starts convincing me to watch porn. Luckily, I forced myself into bed away from the reach of any unfiltered access, and I’m gonna try to put myself to bed.

gut vuch everyone.

Definitely relate man. It's weird, when you get used to filtered devices, unfiltered devices become very sexualized. Hatzlacha!

i hear you also, i think ,though, that its also a matter of siyata deshmaya, all gedolim  bzman haze , forbid the usage of unfiltered  internet, so if i do use one , what kind of help from Hashem can i expect , im flaunting the leaders of Klal Yisroel without a doubt.
im happy you came out clean ,Hashem should continue helping ,hatzlacha!

HakolMilimala wrote on 11 Feb 2018 06:36:

i don't think it's gotta be like that the rest of your life

ieeyc wrote on 11 Feb 2018 08:00:

very hard to accept what you are saying i am not sure you are correct 

if you went to any of those gedolim and told them your nisayon what would they say most of us had this nisayon before the computer was invented or before we had access 
the gedolim i think are talking about prevention and of course most people that are here should get filters but if people here will beat themselves up and start worrying about listaening to gedolim etc. will have the opposite effect
how do we know how they dole out siyata dishmaya up there maybe you'll have siyatta dishmaya that will push you to get the filter who knows
we can only do ours 
thinking your a rasha got no one no place 
what do you think?

The fact is that without exception the rabbonim from all kehillos in klal yisroel have demanded the use of appropriate filters. There may be some people who have received exceptions to this psak for various reasons, but those are the exception. The obvious benefits of a good filter - prevention of pop ups and the like, safeguarding against mistakenly typed website addresses, and of course the slowing down and inconveniencing of someone who has a strong desire to watch (for most people it takes a few minutes to "beat the system" and break through the filter). Besides that, gedolei yisroel have blessed those who follow this directive with promises of greater syatta d'shmaya. Personally, in my weak moments, the fact that i have a phone that is only talk and text, and the fact that my laptop is whitelisted by Tag to only have a few absolutely necessary sites (including GYE), has saved me on many occassions. There were definitely many times where without a filter i would have been "fried". 

Disclaimer - There are some extremely tech savvy people who have a special nisayon of trying to break through filters whenever they come across one. Those people may actually be triggered by a filter. They need to ask a sheilas chochom what to do. But they are definitely not the majority.

tzomah wrote on 11 Feb 2018 11:52:

Why, what’s gonna change?
Once an addict always an addict, no?

Ihavestrength wrote on 11 Feb 2018 07:52:

Great way to put it.

tzomah wrote on 11 Feb 2018 11:53:

what , there are some Gedolim who allow unfiltered internet?