Hi Everyone.
I'm a 21 year old bochur learning in one of the best yeshivas in Yerushalayim. I've been struggling with addiction to porn etc for many years, with many unsuccessful attempts at stopping. Last month I decided to try 40 days clean and put my heart and soul into it. I was clean for approximately 18 days until one night I woke up in the middle of the night; I had a mikreh layla. Someone told me the importance on saying Krias Shema every night and I was doing it every night, until that night last week. Unfortunately after that I fell a number of times.
Personally I dont know al pi halacha what is a mikreh layla, is it called hotzoas zera levatolo even though it happened in your sleep? Does it break my 40 days? Are there any Rabbonim/Poskim out there who know about this stuff in halacha? And finally, can anyone offer any practical eitzos to stay clean during the night (besides for saying krias shema al hamita)?
Thanks

Hello and welcome!!!
Let me qualify this only to say that anyone with more time is better qualified, but I've been around enough to help with a few things.
We only count conscious acting out as a fall, because we simply can't afford to be responsible for something we didn't do. As well, you'll find that after long periods of HZ"L, a break will cause night emissions, it's a usual occurrence during the withdrawal. (Check out my thread of you don't believe me!)
That being said, there's an anecdote somewhere on the forum that says that something that you don't think about during the day will not be dreamed about at night, and it is certainly mostly true. As well, another member advised me not to go to sleep on a full stomach. To be fair, I didn't correlate a full stomach with an emission, so I have no idea if he's right.

Stick around! Post! Tell us about your problem and let us hear how you have been acquiring your sobriety!

Hatzlacha!
Meir

Welcome to the forum, Im also in Yerushalaim and some people expect it to be easier here since its called the holly land ! I know how hard these things can be and its a tremendous thing that you are actively trying to overcome your lust and ultimately I personally believe thats what counts, the 'trying'.

The main thing in your described situation I find is, that once you wake up and find you not being "clean" automatically you might think, 'ok, I fell I met as well do it again, and again, AND AGAIN" ! youl completely fall out of your routine, if it happens during the night just clean it off, say some tehilim and go back to sleep, and be STRONG, dont let that one innocent time spoil your tremendous s'chus of trying,
and b'derech sheodom roize leylech, moilichim oisoh. Daven that he help you !

Lots of love

You have a belief that you are powerless over this yetzer because you have done it so much and because you believe that people who desire sex are worthless, and because you have seen yourself do it so much, and you are depressed, you like your life so little that you think masturbation is the best part of your life. Try reading Feeling Good by David Burns, maybe you'll get a second chance.

Welcome,
I've had good success overcoming the basic addiction with the following approach.
First, I realize that it is not pornography or masturbation that I am addicted to, rather it is lust, in all its forms. This includes getting a quick buzz from looking at women in the street, and entertaining fantasies, in addition to the more obvious forms of acting out. It's all the same. It's all lust. It all has to go.

So I start by agressively guarding my eyes in all settings, taking care not to look at any part of any woman in any setting, except my own family and people I must see in a business setting. These little peeks here and there keep the addiction fed. Our goal is to starve and thus weaken it.

The second major source of the lust drug is machshovos, fantasies. These might be obviously lewd, or even just thoughts of wanting to masturbate. When these thoughts come, I immediately daven the following tefillah,

"Ribono Shel Olam, I am powerless over lust and my life has become unmanageable.
Only You can restore me to sanity.
I turn my life and my lust over to your care and ask you to please heal me from this illness of lust. I don’t want to lust. I only want You and a relationship with You and your Torah. I surrender my lust to you. Please take my lust."

I say this immediately, as soon as I detect any lustful machshovos. In the beginning (almost 3 1/2 years ago) I needed to say this dozens of times a day. I stubbornly refused to give in to lust, and clung to Hashem to help me through, one day at a time.

This simple approach will get you sober if you commit to it. There will still be work to be done on yourself to remain in recovery. We all need to get to know our weaknesses, chesronos, and work on them constantly in order to remain in recovery. But first get sober from lust with complete abstinence.

It's also very important to take this one day at a time. You only ever have to get through today. Just today. That's it.

Hatzlocha,
Alex

Thanks, Alex. It's always great - and crucial - to hear a review of the basics to recovery.