Chevra:

Thank you one and all for joining the Big Book Study Group Lunch & Learn for our Second Week on our "Cruise to Freedom."

We kicked off Chapter One - Bill's Story.  We read thru page 4 and can take away the following important lessons:

• The addiction can kick in when a person is either high or low - "excitement" or "lonely" in Bill's Story.


• The addict's EGO is a major factor in fueling the "RID."


• We "rationalize" our habit declaring that our underlining motives are "good."  ("I need internet in my home since I'm a businessman!")


• I can build my addiction when I'm popular.


• And I can build my addiction when I'm a "lone wolf."  We are just beginning to see in Bill's Story (and others) the impact Isolation has on the addiction.


• Hobbies as substitutes - Bill's "golf fever" seemed like a legitimate behavior.  But we soon see that Bill is just using this societally approved behavior as another way to escape his feelings. - Which makes my ask, are we running to the Beis Midrash thinking we're doing it Leshim Shemayim?  Or are we running away from the "issues" at home we can't face?  Do we spend extra hours in the office appearing to be such a caring breadwinner for our family?  Or are we wasting hours in chat rooms and in porn sites?

We ended the last part of the call by discussing how we, addicts, don't like to feel.  And how we need to examine what it is we are "running away from."  Where is our "inner child" today?  Is he/she buried underneath layers and layers of our pretending to be an adult?  What happened to us when we were young, in Cheder, in Yeshiva and Beis Yaakov?  Did we lose our "voice" along the way?  Did we get stepped on because we didn't know how to say, "Tatti, that hurts me!?"  Did our peers make us feel less than?

Does it "hurt" a little inside when I ask you to explore these questions???

THAT'S GREAT!!  It shows me (and it should show you) that you haven't lost total contact with your inner child - the one that use to see life as one big circus - full of characters and amusement - where joy is the order of the day.  Where inhibitions are disregarded and we go with the flow.

Why are we pretending to be someone today that we're not?  Do we even know who we are?  How do we perceive ourselves?

How do others perceive ourselves?  For an amazing article about this, please see this article by Rabbi Twersky.

In addition, I wanted to share this article that I copied which I discussed last week about "Guilt" vs. "Shame."

In both these articles, we see how our minds are so persuaded by our ATTITUDE in life and what is our part in this attitude.

Finally, for those of you who wanted to hop on the Forum and Chat about the Conference Call, check out this new board. You can start a new topic, or comment on any of the current topics there...

Until Tuesday, I am, yours truly,
Duvid Chaim