LEARNING HOW TO FALL GRACEFULLY

I have a friend who is an amateur psychologist (and very good too!). He has struck up an acquantance with a Dr. Cicconi, who is an Italian goy who is a PhD, psychologist, and psychiatrist (you get the idea). He does very well with children and adolescents, and has many frum  clients. He told my friend that he has great respect for our society and its educational system, with one exception... there is one thing we do not teach, that is VERY important.
He gave a mashal. When learning to ice skate, one of the most important things to learn is not how to glide, stop, swerve etc... it is how to fall. yes, how to fall gracefully. You see, no one is going to ice skate without ever falling, and you can really hurt yourself! So one of the most important lessons is how to fall... gracefully... i.e. in such a way that you will be able to get back up without too many bruises.

Our system teaches great things, but very rare is a shmooz on how to deal with failure (Slonimer chasidim, this does not apply to you).

So, I make it a point to try to discuss this point at the shabbos table whenever it comes up in the parsha. The Chasam sofer (I think... heard from R' Wolfson in his (or was it someone else) name) says that the best way to bring across an idea is to be malbish it in the Torah.

Yehuda and the nisayom with Tamar (tzadka memeni) is an easy one where there was success, and the yiden after the meraglim (going up to EI and getting wiped out) is an example of the negative side, but with a little looking one can find it all over the place... such as the moon.

So, perhaps we can start a thread: learning how to fall (gracefully) from the Parsha ?


I must share with everyone the vort R' Wolfson told me when he told me this yesod (of using the Torah to convey a message). I had started college and asked him for advise. He told me this yesod, and also the following:

We say in the hagada, yagar sham, melamed shlo yardo.... ella lagur shenemar: lagur baaretz banu ki ain mireh... etc.
Question is, what is the baal hagada telling us more than the pasuk already says? it says openly that they were 'vayagur', so what are we proving by bringing another pasuk of 'lagur baaretz banu"? What does it add that we didn't already know, and how does it prove that they planned to stay only temporarily?

He answered, that its the end of the pasuk... where the brothers say to Paroh that they came lagur since they did not have pasture for their sheep, that is the clincher. Can you imagine telling the President  or King that we are here only because we have no choice?

But that was their mehalech... to repeat openly and often that they are here out of necessity, not out of desire. Even to Paroh. and that proved they descended to Mitzrayim without the intention of staying.

kutan.

beautiful  idea

I LOVE IT

hello kutan I am not a slonimer chusid

but..but.. I heard from a GROISEHHH YEED

NESIVAS SHALOM WAS WRITTEN FOR THIS DOR

HE SAID (KMAT) IT IS A CHIYUV TO LEARN IT MEN AND WOMEN CHASSIDISH AND LITVISH

DID YOU SEE THE VORT I QUOTED FROM THE HEILIGER KOBRINER ?

b

All Slominer seforim are beautiful.Alot of people are learning nesivos sholom.My personal favorites are devrei shmuel and toras avos(the root-the kovriner is in there)the seforim of the first reb avraham are very deep,but if you stick with it,there are great treasures there..and no. I love all Yidin(or at least try to) but I'm not a Slominer chossid.

With great pride and tremendous humility I say that I am a descendant of slonimer chasidim
The love and greatness of  the Eternal Jew that permeates the slonimer seforim brings tears to the eyes!!
The beautiful clear way the Nesivos Shalom is written and the poetic language  is guaranteed to make a slonimer chosid  any clod heart  who "browse" the holy pages of the sefer!!

One of the lines that touched me is where the Nesivos Shalom writes "eved ivri oved es rabo bein byom ubein blaylah" the Jewish servants serves his master both by day and by night. Alluding to the Jew who serves his Master Hashem when its "light" ie good times or by night alluding to the "darkness" of our struggle where in our avodas Hashem we feel that its pitch black, tremendous "hester punim" nevertheless the "eved ivri" continues serving his Master!!
Aye Tateh......zol shien zein d gueloh

Norah

Kuton,

I love that thought about learning how to fall with grace.

If we use bardichevs attitude in "Fell Shmell" it will help us fall shmall & get up & go on with grace.

NB,

This Nesivos is Ah Shtaarke Yesod!

guardureyes wrote on 19 Jun 2009 10:36:


For someone who is not aware of it, there really is a hundred years of Torah on the internet.
The thing is for everyone to find out what he or she likes, does good, etc.

I used to be against women learning too much. But, have I changed my mind! For one thing, there are the false hashkofos that are flowing around out there, concerning what Judaism is or isn't and what it teaches. Kabboloh is completely distorted of course, so I hear and believe it, but somehow never managed to see much of that personally.

Secondly, women have to know many things from halochos to hashkofoh etc.

Apparently, there are not enough shiurim (live) for those interested. But, the internet is an endless source. And the Guard shlitoh really put up a good list. For men, we have to weigh whether it is all worth it in light of the problems. For women, it would seem to be a more one way brochoh (blessing).

The reason the previous generations weren't so into women learning, was because they were completely sheltered from the outside world anyway, so why rock the boat? In other words, they don't have the general chiyuv - for reasons dicussed in the gemara, so the only reason would be for the mussar and philosophy to counter the ytz"hr, but they didn't need that, being as they generally were'nt exposed to the streets anyway.
However as soon as they were exposed (haskala) and they were being affected, Reb. Sarah Schenirer opened the 1st Bais Yaakov for the simple reason that it became neccessary.
All the more so today...
Agav, This beis medrash is the greatest thing since penicillin! (well, maybe since the whole gue community site, but before THAT - penicillin)

Kollel Guy wrote on 10 Dec 2009 08:44:


I am not so sure about that. I am not going to look it up now, but the Mishne Brurah, I think, says in hilchos  brochos for talmud torah that noshim are mechuyovos in this/these brochoh(s), because they must say korbonos (!) among other things.

I personally would wonder how they could exist in any generation without learning halochos. However, I agree that this all does not necessarily make a difference today, because they must learn more for the reasons that you mentioned.

kutan shel hachabura wrote on 15 Jul 2009 20:47:


I wish I knew how to fall off a bike gracefully! Or just how to fall (physically) gracefully, actually more safely.

That was a good moshol.

Chazak wrote on 17 Jan 2010 11:33:
Of course they learnt the Halachos which were relevant to everyday life. I'm talking about learning for the sake of knowledge. Learning the philosophy of the Torah, and why things were created the way they were, and the deeper meanings of the mitzvos.

Noorah BAmram wrote on 16 Jul 2009 01:52:


You brought tears to my eyes, by reminding me how much I miss Nesivos Shalom. But you rekindeled within me the most beutifull vort I have ever heard from the sefer. The beuty is not in it's depth or heart, but in its utter simplicity and pwerfull meaning.

תורה אור השלם
1. ערות בת בנף או בת
בתך ליא תגלה עדותן
כי ערותך הנה:
ויקרא יח י
2. ערות אשה ובתה לא
תגלה את בת בנה ואת
בת בחה לא תקה לגלות
ערותה שארה הנה ערותה
הוא: ויקרא ית יו
Zugt the Nesivos Shalom AD הנה Azarunu rachameicha Velo Azavunu chasadeicha. Veal Titsheinu Hashem Elokeinu Milfaneicha.....

And that "Gzeira shava" is said about "אשה ובתה" !!!!!

With tears in my eyes thank you for reminding me of this vort (I has to call-up EY to ask a chaver to repeat it to me- so I has the wrong gemara posted for an hour or so.)

this cold heart is so frigid that i don't even remember writing that ....but thanks for reminding me of this piece from the holy Rebbe....boy do i need this reminder

I had to call EY and have a chver summoned to the phone, to tell me it's in 3a, and not from the G"SHava of Aleiha Aleiha. I alwaysed condfused these 2 pesukim when sayin git over!

Hey can you type the pasuk in hebrew. Whell it's not a pasuk, rather it's from Nishmas Kol chai....
I want to send this to GUARD to use in the emails. It get's too watered sown in translation, so it's fine the way it is. I just can't type in hebrew (that's all cut/paste from hebrewbooks.org)

It's not from you. And if anyone from EY sees this, and you recognise me, and my divrei torah...please do me the courtesy of a pm (oh and welcome to the forum, what daf are you guys up to now?)

For the last ten years, on the Yamim Noraim, I have been davening from the Machzor Mesoras HaRav , which is based on the teachings of Rav Joseph B. Soloveitchik ZL, the Rosh Yeshiva of Yesivas Rabbeinu Yitzchak Elchanan ZL. Rav Soloveitchik ZL said in 1971 in the pre Internet era, the following:

"I have often encountered a very strange phenomenon in modern society. There is a certain openness to modern man. He has no modesty. Modern man will often publicly discuss intimate details of his life. Somehow, he is not embarassed to pick up subjects or discuss topics or problems whioch should belong in the realm of his private intimate life. Modern man lacks Tznius, modesty.

This is so because modesty entails concealment. Modern man, hoswever, is basically a man-thing. He experiences himself as a thing, as an object, as something concrete. Everything about him is on the surface. Thus, there are no secrets. There is no privacty. There are no intimate phases in modern man's life.

That is why modern man is burdened with the curse of pornogra[phy. Pornography has existed since man was created. It as ancient as man himself and results from man's degenerate imagination. Modern pornography is unique in that the legislatures wish to legalize it. Powerful rampant forces in our society assert that the prohibition againat pornographic literature is in conflict with constitutional liberties, with free speech. This phenemoena has occurred since modern man experiences himself as man-thing, as man-object, and is, thus, open and vacuous. ( Noraos HaRav, Vol. 15, Page 114).

Rav Soloveitchik ZL also commented on why we read Parshas Arayos at Mincha on the Yom HaKadoshm of Yom HaKipurrim:

"Egypt and Canaan are mentioned specifically because these nations represented the two poles of secular civilization in Biblical times. Egypt was the most urbanized and technologically advanced civilization of the time, while Canaan was pastoral and primitive. The Torah emphasizes here that as different as they were from each other, nbeither of these fundamentally immoral societies should serve as role models. The essential message of the Torah reading during Mincha on Yom Kippur is that if we do not separate from the nations, we can become corrupt and impure ( Before HaShem, Pages 157-158, quoted in Mesoras HaRav Machzor for Yom Kippur at at P.688.)"

Rabbosai-this is what we must face and comprehend so that our own Milchemes Mitzvah that each of us must face will result in our being Matzliach and having a kiyum in the wonderful mitzvah of Kedoshim Tihiyu Bshlemusah!

I heard something today from Isralight.
In our Torah, G-d gives instructions about theft and "slavery." It seems harsh to make someone work hard and live with someone until you realize the lessons:
1) If you mess up (steal or owe money) then you must take responsibility Don't just blame bad luck.
2) People sometimes think that they have no value. It is easier to break a law (steal) when you are worthless. G-d is teaching us that if you were worthless, no one would pay for you. Since you have a market value, you can earn back your respect with hard work and also realize that you are important and have financial value (and obviously also have intrinsic value).
Realize how worthwhile you are. It may not make things much easier but I hope it's food for thought.
Best of luck.