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i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 3012 Views

i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 27 Jul 2009 00:25 #9762

  • persianayid
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im only 16 so i still live with my parents and i cant filter my dad or my brothers computer so i am stuck with easy access to filth. i have been trying to stop wasting seed for months with this site and it hasnt worked cause of this easy access. I dont know what to do someone please help me.
Last Edit: by plshelpme.

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 27 Jul 2009 02:15 #9763

  • Noorah BAmram
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Shalom Aliechem Holy Warrior,


The mere  fact that u posted here means that you are already on the right track

We won't let go of you TZADIK!!

Were u able to read the Guard Your Eyes handbooks?
They helped me a tremendous amount.

Also being busy works wonders! No time to get into trouble. So tired @ night I can't even think of u know what

Thirdly if I can suggest beginning a 90 day wall of honor chart. For me it was key to sobriety.

Once u start your journal, post away, it was extremely therapeutic for me and a lot of the folks on the site. U will gain immeasurable strength and support from others on the site
Warmest virtual welcoming "hug"

Noorah
[b]כי שבע יפול צדיק וקם[/b] 
A Tzadik is he who continues to  bounce back after he hits bottom, even a hundred times !!!!!Rav Don Segal Shlita
Last Edit: by .

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 27 Jul 2009 08:14 #9775

  • ChaimChaim
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Dear 16
Ashei ISh
who does tshuva when he is young and fired up - you have a zchus to have awakened to your real desire - which is to be pure and close to Hashem.

Tell us more about how you feel when you are close to falling.
You probably are in a lot of pain because of your thoughts, and maybe what your body is telling you.

Be aware, don't black out - keep thinking and feeling.

Maybe you can tell your brother about your struggle to stay away from things that you consider not proper. Is he older? He knows exactly what you are talking about and he may very well understand your need for a fence to keep safe.
If he lets you use his computer - which shows much consideration - he may agree to install a filter that only he knows the code for.

When you do have to come to the computer, for whatever reason - start with a post here, and end with it. Read, encourage others and take part.
Welcome.

you have free choice at all times.
Last Edit: by Lost2468.

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 27 Jul 2009 08:33 #9779

  • chl
bs"d

Hi, needmajorhelp,

ashrecha that at 16 you decided to fight this addiction... words fail me...

This place literally saved my life and the people here teach me how to do tshuva every day.

i am looking forward to be inspired by you!

I think Chaim's idea of talking to your brother makes a lot of sense... i hope this is something that is realistic for you to do.

May G-d help you and free you and all of us from our addictions!
Last Edit: 27 Jul 2009 13:06 by joseph2508.

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 27 Jul 2009 09:34 #9794

  • 7yipol
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I am really impressed.

How many 16 year olds even want to stop, never mind do something practical about it like joining GYE?!

In my humble opinion, what Rabbeinu Noorah, Chaim and Chl wrote is brilliant in it's practicality. Each individual piece of advice is a gem, put them together, and wow!

Keep posting. Watching from the sidelines doesnt give let you feel everyone holding your hand. And in this place, once they grab hold of you, you're family forever :D
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by Yaakkov808.

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 27 Jul 2009 09:36 #9796

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needmajorhelp wrote on 27 Jul 2009 00:25:

im only 16 so i still live with my parents and i cant filter my dad or my brothers computer so i am stuck with easy access to filth. i have been trying to stop wasting seed for months with this site and it hasnt worked cause of this easy access. I dont know what to do someone please help me.


Welcome to this site. There is a lot of help here, from personal to ... well, you name it.

I feel for you, as you may be tempted to feel hopeless in the situation you described.

However, since you are so young, your parents, I hope, and your brothers would have a hard time
refusing you a filter. They don't have to use it themselves. Everyone knows of the dangers of the
internet, including non-Jews. They have filters and programs as well, although nothing as expansive as
this site. You could simply tell your parents that you do not want to be tempted to get involved with those things and that you know very well that anyone, especially your age, might be tempted to. So, for Heaven's sake, and their own sake, install filters at least for you. Please let us know how things develop.

I just read the 4 posts above this. They were all extremely good. I don't know what I am adding here, but at least maybe I could encourage you to consider their excellent advice, actually brilliant but simple as I think 7Up put it. Again, let us know. Best wishes.

Just in  case they are not convinced, we may be able to help in that regard as well.

Esnachtoh
Last Edit: 27 Jul 2009 09:50 by .

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 27 Jul 2009 10:28 #9798

  • 7yipol
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I don't know what I am adding here,


I know exactly what you are adding here, Esnachtoch:
One more pair of hands with which to hold our new brother up, one more heart so he knows his isnt beating alone, and one more set of lips to daven to Hashem to give him strength!
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by avi89.

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 27 Jul 2009 13:07 #9812

  • chl
bs"d

7Up wrote on 27 Jul 2009 10:28:

One more pair of hands with which to hold our new brother up, one more heart so he knows his isnt beating alone, and one more set of lips to daven to Hashem to give him strength!


beautiful...
Last Edit: by protectme.

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 27 Jul 2009 18:54 #9853

  • the.guard
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Dear Holy 16 year old,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community! You are fortunate to have found us at such a young age. If you succeed to rein in the addiction now, you will be saving yourself the "irreversable effects" that the addiction causes in those who "use" the drug of porn for many years. It completely warps their mind, and for the rest of their lives they can no longer view women without being triggered. They can no longer view women as people, but more as objects. They are triggered by the slightest thing. So B"H you found us early. Let's hope you still aren't "addicted" in the full sense. By using the tools on our network, you will be able to break free!

Once you've arrived here, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

As far as telling your parents, See this page of our FAQ: www.guardureyes.com/GUE/FAQ/FAQ2.asp

We get cries for help exactly like yours every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. I cannot answer you in one short e-mail, so I implore you, if you value your life in this world and the next, at least do at least this for yourself. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day,

Also, post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Make sure to read them, they contain a wealth of information on beating this addiction! And I'd love to hear your feedback on them...

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by wannabeabetterjew.

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 27 Jul 2009 20:21 #9868

  • kutan
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7Up wrote on 27 Jul 2009 10:28:


I don't know what I am adding here,


I know exactly what you are adding here, Esnachtoch:
One more pair of hands with which to hold our new brother up, one more heart so he knows his isnt beating alone, and one more set of lips to daven to Hashem to give him strength!


7Up you are a REAL mommy. Heliger Bardichever, please mark Mother's day on your calender. (7Up, MD is this thing we have here in america... you'll find out about it then... its in about 9 months).
k

and DEAR needmajorhelp, give us some feedback. What do you think might work and might not? Also, could you please search inside your neshama and find a virtual name? one that reflects you rather than the situation your in. You'll be surprised what you may find... might find an nitzutz from the olden days (bardichev) or a characteristically cute and hopeful name such as 7up. Me, I looked and looked and just came up with little kutan here.

looking forward to hearing from you!
k
Rashi, Breishis (10:25)
Last Edit: 27 Jul 2009 20:24 by joek.

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 27 Jul 2009 20:37 #9872

  • 7yipol
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7Up, MD is this thing we have here in america... you'll find out about it then... its in about 9 months).


Mothers days are always about 9 months in coming, arent they? :D
And Im willing to accept it every day (especially if it comes with flowers and gifts!!! ;D)



Me, I looked and looked and just came up with little kutan here.


As for a virtual name, you are correct. We eagerly await needmajorhelps new identity. Having said that, I think it is time E.L. helped you Kutan find one which expresses the reall you.
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by eli883.

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 27 Jul 2009 20:44 #9873

  • kutan
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7Up wrote on 27 Jul 2009 20:37:


7Up, MD is this thing we have here in america... you'll find out about it then... its in about 9 months).


Mothers days are always about 9 months in coming, arent they? :D
And Im willing to accept it every day (especially if it comes with flowers and gifts!!! ;D)



Me, I looked and looked and just came up with little kutan here.


As for a virtual name, you are correct. We eagerly await needmajorhelps new identity. Having said that, I think it is time E.L. helped you Kutan find one which expresses the reall you.


7up your posts are the best!
and my name is me. At least thats how I feel in comparison to the amazing people here. There is an old real estate adage... better own the worst house on the block than the best house on the block... since every one else only pulls you up. That's my motto in life.
Rashi, Breishis (10:25)
Last Edit: by .

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 28 Jul 2009 19:48 #9982

  • Tev
Hey Tzadik,

Great that you have a neshama that cares about this terrible disease!

I just turned 21 and I have been looking at filthy tumah on and off for at least 6 years.

You have def come to the right place, get on the chizuk list , cry out to Hakodosh Boruch Hu, never listen to your Yetzewr Hara even for a second! And if you do slip G-d Forbid, dont get down on yourself! G-d will always love you no matter what you do !

Good Luck !

Please dont hesitate to email me at bestrong88@gmail.com if you need more advice ill try to help...
Last Edit: by .

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 28 Jul 2009 20:14 #9985

  • 7yipol
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What I love most about this place, is that despite everyones individual struggles, as soon as they hear that someone else is having a hard time, all rush to help!

Ein k'mo Yisrael!

Bestrong88, welcome. I see you have already learnt the secret to success - the more you give to others, the more you will receive in return!
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by strugjp.

Re: i need help im 16 and in my house i cant escape from p*rn 28 Jul 2009 20:48 #9991

  • Efshar Letaken
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I don't think kuton needs to change his name as long as he Switches to Godoil when the Y"H try to knock him telling him that hes a small nothing.

Yosef Hatzadik fought the Y'H that way when the Y"H told him by the Nisoyoin of Potiferah that hes is a lost case anyway, You might as well go all the way.

Yosef then answered back to the Y"H "Eineni Godoil BaBais Hazeh MiMeni" No one is Bigger then me in this house, as to tell her,

I'm a Godoil!

I am going to be in the Choshen!

I am going to be the "Yosef HaTzadik"!

Don't tell me that I'm a small nothing!

I Am A Godoil!.

Many Holy Tzadikim signed off with "Hakoton".

And we have one more Godoil over here Rav Kutan.

This reminds me of a story I don't remember by which Rebbe it happend.

When he was niftar, the holy kids came to split the yerusha, and the Father never had anything to Yarshen to begin with.

One son came late, so his bothers told him "Es Iz Gornisht Gebliben" (Nothing is left) to what he replied "Nu, Ich Vel Nemin Di Tattes Gornisht!" (I will take my fathers Nothing) Meaning his fathers Anovo that he held himself as a Gornisht a nothing.

So they said that one of the brothers already took that. To what he replied "Nu, Vel Ich Nemin Di Tattes Gornished SheB'Gornished" and he was takeh known to be one of the most Humble Rebbes in his time.

Last Edit: by yitchak96.
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