I have had the experience of having my entire life at risk of being taken aware from me (e.g. my wife, my kids, my career and possibly more, such as friends and public prestige). B"H, none of these consequences happened, but I can recall the experience and (to put it rather mildly) it isn't pleasant and its not something you want to have.
I'm not talking about the possible conseqeunces that could have happened, I am talking about just the state of risk/concern that they might.
You certainly will not be lucky if you end up in this kind of state...

Jooboy, although guilt may be nothing in it's own right, it still prompts one to try and stop through for ex Gye.

Kutan, what about food? Isn't food in controll of us?

Kutan, what about food? Isn't food in controll of us?

Quite possibly it is!
You can test this by seeing if you can leave over the last bit of something that you are eating.
(broccoli does not count!)
This is considered, by some Rishonim, to be equal to a full fledged taanis, btw.

And of course there is OA to deal with this addiction.

Guard, do you have room for another section on the forum?

Lol!
What Im saying is that the fact that one may not be in controll of masterbation, is bareabal, just like the fact we can't go a day without eating!

Not14 wrote on 06 Sep 2010 15:10:


As I blabbed about above, that isn't really the issue. The issue is whether it makes my life unmanageable, or not...and I believe that for most people, a little porn and masturbation does not make their lives unmanageable. It's the habitual cycle thing we are familiar with that makes life hell.

That is one place where the addicts part from the regular avaryanim out there, which is why I suggested going without it for a while, like 60 days. No big deal. See what really happens. I do not know what will happen, so I am not judging or criticizing. I am just suggesting.

Until you physically live it, try it, with no excuses and rationalizations, you will never know the nature of your dependence. Your assumptions may be sincere, yet still complete unmitigated bull___.

Hatzlocha!

Jooboy wrote on 02 Sep 2010 17:57:


Second that, guilt gets me nowhere, I have been feeling guilty for 15 years and only got worse and gave up.  The opposite is true, I was able to plan a better day on those rare occasions where guilt wasn't there and I could think constructively about getting better without guilt and hopelessness feelings.

This always bothered me, if I didn't feel guilty and shame at all, wouldn't that mean I am content with masturbating, and if so, why would I ever stop or even want to stop.  There must be a file line between guilt that doesn't work and wanting to change without the guilt which let's you constructively get better.