Hello. I am joining this forum to ask its members for help. I am on a clean streak of 17 days but am having a harder time controlling myself each day. Can anybody offer me support or advice so i can go on with being shomer habrit? thank you very much.

Welcome to the forum. I would give you the whole intro packadge, but the last time I did that , no-one seemed to read the thread, whoops. SO i'll stick to a regular response.  Our Y"H for these areas is addictive. The sefer Pri Tzedek brings a zohar chadash in parshas noach to show this, if you are looking for a torah source.  Regular teshuva will not suffice.  We need to turn to Hashem and ask for help, dayly and hourly, in overcoming the YH.

Try starting your own thread in the 'wall of honor' and watch your progress on 'the wall'. You can choose tp not have your name listed, if you like, and will still get all the email chizuk that come periodicly. Depending on your circumstances, try evaluating what are you primary triggers, and make a cheshbon hanefesh to decide of there is anything you can do to avoid them.

Read the handbook, GYE attitidude, and the stories on this site, and find the chizzuk to pull you through.  The site attempts to help people at every stage of a YH, even if one is not C"V addicted. So you have found the right place. Read through the 'GYE Handbook' to find what will help you, and what works for you, some of the ideas and strategies may not.

if you are looking for a torah-only approach to this, check the area of the forum entitled 'Battleworms Corner' in addition to the 'Beis Medrash'. There is a daily email on the topic of both addicton, and shmiras einayim (no connection to addiction), so feel free to sign up.

WHat else can I help you with? The bathroom is down the hall to your left. Not that door, the second one. And you need to bush the handle very hard to get it to open.  Feel free to help yourself to the fridge, and make yourself at home  :D

*I oppologize for my burning curiosity, but did you find us in either mishpacha, or the Haskamah?*

First of all, Reb Shomer, welcome!

17 days! That is truly incredible. There are times when this yetzer hora, disease, whatever you want to call it, feels almost impossible to overcome - the support and advice from people here has helped me grow incredibly, and I hope it will help you, as well!

You might want to start by opening up a bit (as much as you feel comfortable), and discuss how this effects you, and how/when it happens.

Dear withgdshelp,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

17 days is a great start. Keep up the good work! Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

To my holy brother shomerhabrit,

  Youve come to the right place to find chizuk. Take advantage of all this site has to offer!

My response to you would be try and think only about today. Bot tomorrow and noteven yesterday! Just today. One day at a a time. Ive found that this perspective has helped me and others in the past. Part of the build up comes from the fact they we have nevr, or almost never, went clean for so long. But when we think of just today, that we have done before. We have  done one day before and now were asking ourselves once again to do one day. Thats it, nothing more nothing less, just one day.

Hatzlacha and wishing you all the best!

Have a great shabbos!

IT25

Yep, welcome aboard!

Two things to add to the good advice already posted, if I may.

1.  FYI, what worked for me as newbie was reading the threads of other newbies (Introduce Yourself) to find snippets that might apply to me. And then posting like crazy on my own thread with questions on those snippets or other questions burning in my head.  And of course keeping an open mind in applying the responses. Sometimes the responses that bring the strongest visceral response of NO! are the ones that are really YES! if we're really being honest with ourselves.  You'll have your own methods, so go with your gut instincts here (no, not THOSE gut instincts - the good and holy ones).

2.  Sharing your story, your hopes, your fears.  Some folks have a hard time opening up, even on an anonymous forum. (I don't but that's just me.) The more info you provide, the more people will have the real you in mind when they reply.  Are you married (there's a separate section by invite only -- tell the admin)? Are you working or in yeshiva or what? Are you here, trying to observe the mitzvos better or enter into shidduchim or prevent the police from arresting you or what -- speak up so our drivel will at least be customized drivel ?

Above all, take chizzuk from every success and avoid guilt from any fall CH'V. You deserve the best. Period.

Sorry if I was a bit vague as i haven't browsed the forums much yet to learn from other first time posters. I am in college not married yet and without a girlfriend for several months. I have installed the k9 filter and it has helped a lot. I just subscribed to the chizuk emails and have enjoyed reading them. My biggest problem is my iPhone its always on me and has constant access to the internet. I had an addiction to pornography for several years. I am trying to reach 40 days as it says in the tikun haklali which i am reading every day. Also in college i am constantly around females my age and this leads to inappropriate thoughts. If there's anything i left out please dont hesitate to ask.
Shabbat shalom to all my fellow Jews!

Wow! Sounds like you're beset on all sides!

I think that there are filters available for iphones, as well - some of the other members here would know more than me about that, but I've seen people mention 'em.

The drive that we have to seek pleasure in inappropriate places is strong...it can pull us with its illusion of wonderful pleasure, making us forget the sweet taste of freedom, of living our lives the way we want to!

When do you usually find yourself turning to this drug? What's your thought process like when you decide not to? What else can you do to avoid both the issue and the temptation in the future?

Have a great shabbos!

I find myself turning to it during boredom and have nearly fell several times in these 18 days. I just think about the fact that i would have to start all over if I fall. I need support and ideas from those who have found ways to overcome the yetzer hara. I appreciate all the feedback thus far, and I feel truly welcome here.

simply making it to 18 days is quite an accomplishment! and plus, think of all the times you've fought your y"h and won!! your doing great.

as for the iphone, this article should help: www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=2360
and just from personal experience, i've found that i've been able to spend more productive time using my ipod for studying Torah after i completely disabled internet. to study torah, i typically use a Tanach app (for 2.99) and a free Tanya app that i got.

keep up the good work and have a Great Shabbos!!!

Reb SH - you are amazing!

You've already hit one of your major issues on the head - you've pinpointed it, now all you have to do is figure out how to deal with it!

Boredom is a dangerous time for you. So maybe sit down, and figure out (in advance) a list of things you can do when you're bored, and temptation hits. Or, even when you're bored, and you have a feeling that temptation will hit!

Have a great week! Keep us posted - you're doing great, KUTGW!!

For boredom, try our Kosher Isle. www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Time/time.asp

When bored turn to GYE!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D

Theres enough to keep you busy for like 10 years. Trust me i know!! :D :D :D :D :D

Trying  is right...

Past couple of days I channeled my boredom to GUY...

When is trying ever wrong?!? Not the 1st time or the 2nd or the 3rd......