Guys it's time for popcorn!

Just a little ליקוט of some of Op's posts on this thread

To quote my father Shlit"a
"Stop the world - I wanna get off"

parev wrote on 03 Jul 2024 13:59:

That's a classic Calvin and Hobbes. 

If only that was an option . . .

parev wrote on 03 Jul 2024 13:59:

Hashem would stop the world for YOU,
If getting off was what you were supposed to do.

Obviously it's not. For whatever reason, this is your ride. Grab it by the horns and make it submit to your will and His.
Hatzlacha

I know it's easier to give chizzuk and enlightening comments than empathy,
But sometimes that's what my battered soul needs.

Maybe one day some more of you will get that
Thank God my sponsor does, and maybe that's why I didn't act out again today

parev wrote on 03 Jul 2024 14:28:

You are right. Chizzuk is easier and more universal. I'm sorry that it wasn't what you need.
Empathy is more personal, and I don't know you or your very complex struggles well enough to relate. What you are dealing with is beyond what I could imagine bearing, and if only there was a way that I knew to help you heal your pain I would try.

parev wrote on 02 Jul 2024 23:24:




parev wrote on 03 Jul 2024 09:28:
I know it's easier to give chizzuk and enlightening comments than empathy,
But sometimes that's what my battered soul needs.

Maybe one day some more of you will get that
Thank God my sponsor does, and maybe that's why I didn't act out again today


Good Morning Reb Parev!

Please indicate where on the previously provided likkut do you indicate that you "sometimes" need empathy?

I am finding your preferences a bit difficult to understand, but looking forward to unlocking the key going forward!

If I may add...

You wrote:

"Thank God my sponsor does, and maybe that's why I didn't act out again today"

It would concern me to see that my choice of whether to fall or not fall are dependent on receiving my own arbitrarily determined prerequisite amount of empathy. 

I continue to wish you success on your journey!

Sincerely, -YKW

youknowwho wrote on 02 Jul 2024 16:12:

YKW, I happen to agree with you in  full
Reb Parev, you are journaling in public here. And the purpose of doing so, I would think, is to see and feel the connection it fosters, to read people's reactions. Very, very rare is it that people are simply hurtful. Maybe not everything is very helpful, but nobody looks to hurt others here.
Now, I know that you looking to grow. You are looking to get past the struggles that are currently bogging you down. My friend, that's why you are here. Those who look for sobriety seriously will listen to the reactions of people, to see how they can grow. But they will not censor the responses based on their preferences. Happens to be, there's plenty of empathy to be found here. Loads of it, actually. Dear friend, serious work means the willingness to hear more than you are comfortable hearing. Different flavors. If we demand only certain types of responses, we cannot grow. 
dearest friend, I'm so glad you found a sponsor that gets you. And the oilam here is more than happy to be there for you. Not always does that mean that you'll what you want to hear.
Because if we only hear what we find comfortable and cozy, we won't get anywhere.

And here we love to see people actually get places. Like trucking places

1. My offer still stands. 
2. If you have indeed a real SA sponsor (not that I don't trust you), he probably would say to get off this site (especially if it's gettin' contentious).
3. I was never into listenin' to the OP, as this is an anonymous public site & nobody owns a thread & each post is there to benefit everyone. (Folks also don't scroll back to see the OP's preferences.)
4. If and when I was in your shoes (& I probably was a time or two), I would've been turned off by Vehikum's post (doesn't mean it wasn't good).
5. Godspeed

I was thinking a lot and this is what I realized.
I grew up in SA, not on GYE
Invariably in meetings 'no crosstalk is allowed this includes mentioning other peoples shares by name"
We share our own Experience Strength and Hope and let others draw on it.
When making calls we are wary of the F word [Feedback] and only give it when it is asked for.
[Obviously ones Sponsor is a different story]

I realize that GYE has different etiquette and that is ok.

I Apologise for the harsh words and judgmentalism I showed some, I'm just used to a different system. 

Presdent Cordnoy:

1] I intend in taking up your offer IYH some time next week
2] Gotta ask him BL"N [hes a new one so it will take some time]
3] Wa'ever
4] I try to emotionally detach from posts that I don't relate to
5] AMEN

Back to journaling...
Had a engagement in BB yesterday, adn they were mechabed me with Eid [The 'Rebbe' of the chosson] then on the way back I had this urge to a social experiment in the husltle of telaviv nightlife. The results were as expected although not what I had hoped, although I still didnt feel very good with myself and ended up masturbating, although it could have ended differently...[for better and worse]
Will carry on later IYH

Actually all these ideas of R' Eerie Chooseurshem etc are getting me back into the swing of things IYH!

I had a date night with my WW yesterday and we had these conversation starter relationship q's [asked chat gbt...]
[Anyone who wants can PM]
We sat in a lounge with cold coke, and it came up that she is 100% happy with me and she thought that i was with her too until a week ago...
I corrected her that I am happy and love her 100% but there is this hardship for me that she always gets her way and when I get mine it's dampened with the fact that she is being moser nefesh to be  mevater.  
Also highlighted was her judgmentalness that has led me to share less with her and to seek approval from others.
She means well and loves me dearly but the challenge is there non-the-less.
Physical Intimacy is also no picnic, stemming from her lack of emotion, I have learnt that patience is the key.
She often complains that I don't help her enough, to keep it short, this afternoon however I think she realized that I am actually quite a helping husband - even if I dont help every time she wants it [coz Im davening or learning or just bommed or what ever]

parev wrote on 05 Jul 2024 15:12:

its all the WIFE.
שבת שלום

cande wrote on 05 Jul 2024 15:36:

I thought so.
Thanks for the confirmation

BTW 3 random technical grievances on the GYE website.

1] I tried to correct my name to Parev [capital P] but username taken...

2] There is no way to unsubscribe from "New replies" of a certian thread. [if you once responded to a thread any further post will always come up under New Replies]

3] In the PM section I like reading posts of the person that sends a PM - It would be much easier if the name would be hyperlinked to his profile

Thanks for letting me share